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These Seth Rogen films could also inspire nuclear rage

Dale Roe
Need an excuse to attack the United States? Look no further than Columbia Pictures’ muddled action film “The Green Hornet,” starring Seth Rogen, right.

Talk about a critic.

Reports came out last week that the government of North Korea, led by dictator Kim Jong-un, has declared Seth Rogen’s upcoming film “The Interview” to be “an act of war.”

The action comedy stars Rogen and pal James Franco as journalists ordered by the CIA to assassinate the dictator after landing a meeting with him.

“The act of making and screening such a movie that portrays an attack on our top leadership … is a most wanton act of terror and act of war, and is absolutely intolerable,” said a North Korean foreign ministry spokesman.

The potential retribution for the film’s release? A “resolute and merciless response,” the spokesman said.

We have yet to see “The Interview,” which Rogen, ominously, co-wrote and co-directs. But if you are going to attack America for bad Seth Rogen movies (and you could make a decent case just citing a couple others that he wrote — 2008’s “Drillbit Taylor” and 2012’s “The Watch”), there are at least three potentially worse examples from which to choose:

“The Guilt Trip” (2012)

Why Kim Jong-un would hate it: As a power-hungry dictator, he would probably get a few chuckles out of the scene in which Babs attempts to conquer a 50-ounce steak-eating challenge during this mother/son road trip fiasco. But, despite Streisand’s obvious chemistry with Rogen, the pair can’t overcome the unfunny, sappy script.

The critic says: “Are we there yet?” — Steven Rea, Philadelphia Inquirer

“The Green Hornet” (2011)

Why Kim Jong-un would hate it: The pairing of artsy French director Michel Gondry and the comic book source material might have made the supreme leader (who reportedly enjoyed drawing his own sketches of NBA star Michael Jordan) understandably excited. But the boring, self-indulgent and way-too-long result even made me want to push the big, red button.

The critic says: “‘The Green Hornet’ is an almost unendurable demonstration of a movie with nothing to be about.” — Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

“Observe and Report” (2009)

Why Kim Jong-un would hate it: As the Supreme Commander of the Korean Peoples’ Army, he would surely admire the ambition of Rogen’s Ronnie Barnhardt, who protects Forest Ridge Mall against skate punks and shoplifters and hopes to one day ascend to the position of actual police officer. But it’s excessively dark and truly mean-spirited. And even though Kim Jong-un threatened the U.S. with a preemptive nuclear attack in 2013, he reportedly has a sentimental side.

The critic says: “Meet mall cop Paul Blart’s evil, unfunny twin.” — Lisa Kennedy, Denver Post