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Bob Newhart, Nick Kroll bring comedy to Austin in December

Dale Roe
Comic legend Bob Newhart comes to the Paramount Theatre on Dec. 6.

Why does big-name comedy slow down so much in December? I know we’re all busy with holiday planning and gift shopping but, hello … Santa Claus doesn’t say “Ho ho ho” for nothing. Give yourself a present and enjoy one of these live comedy performances:

Nick Kroll

Dec. 5

You probably know Kroll for his portrayal of Ruxin on FXX’s “The League.” Which is weird, because he has his own show with his name right in it, Comedy Central’s “Kroll Show.” But, whatever. I can’t babysit you and your TV-watching. Best to catch his live standup so that we all get on the same page, don’t you agree? 7 p.m., Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress Avenue. $37.50-$42.50; 512-474-1221, www.austintheatre.org.

Bob Newhart

Dec. 6

The word legendary gets thrown a lot, especially when my colleagues and editors discuss my writing ability. But enough about me — Mr. Newhart is truly a legendary comic icon. His button-down mind has spawned two wildly funny and incredibly successful sitcoms as well as books and record-breaking recordings. Then there’s that drinking game. If you could study him without belly-laughing, you’d discover a master of comic timing. 8 p.m., Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress Avenue. $32-$122; 512-474-1221, www.austintheatre.org.

Jimmy Pardo

Dec. 6-8

For three days in December, frequent “Conan” and “Tonight Show” guest Pardo pretty much takes over Cap City. There are the two shows each on Friday and Saturday nights, of course, but on Sunday, Pardo turns the club into his own personal recording studio, taping a live version of his “Never Not Funny” podcast. Shows at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, podcast recording at 3 p.m. Sunday, Cap City Comedy Club, 8120 Research Boulevard. $15-$19, $59.95 King Kong Combo available; 512-467-2333, www.capcitycomedy.com.

The Wonder Bread Years

Dec. 19-22

I didn’t personally see Jerry Seinfeld snort milk, but he did call Pat Hazell’s one-man theatrical stand-up nostalgia trip “milk-snortingly funny,” so there’s that. Full of good old American laughs, this look back at the baby boomer generation from the former “Seinfeld” scribe is guaranteed to warm your heart and ache your sides. 8 p.m., Rollins Studio Theatre at the Long Center, 701 W. Riverside Drive. $39; 512-474-5664, www.thelongcenter.org.

Esther’s Follies

All weekends in December

New magic and holiday-themed comedy hit the Esther’s stage this month. Pieces include “Sam I Am,” a naughty twist on the Dr. Seuss classic, and “Home for the Holidays,” which places dysfunctional family reunions front and center. Company magician Ray Anderson unveils a new illusion, “Modern Art.” 8 p.m. Thursdays-Saturdays, and 10 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, Esther’s Follies Theater, 525 E. Sixth Street. $24-$29; 512-320-0553, www.esthersfollies.com.