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A New Englander tried Whataburger. You will not believe what happened next. (OK, maybe you will.)

Joe Gross

If there is one constant in this Texas life, it is that Texans love Whataburger.

I have met nuns that are less devoted to the Blessed Virgin Mother than Austinites are to the honey butter chicken biscuit.

So over at Business Insider, someone named Hollis Johnson decided to get down with Whataburger.

As he puts it, “Whataburger had long similarly been an enigma to me — nearly every Texan I meet extols its many virtues, yet I had never set foot in one.”

Clearly, it was time. 

Our hero went to the one in Port Lavaca, “one of a whopping 655 Whataburgers in Texas.”

RELATED: First Lady Melania Trump is down with Whataburger

He also notes that he “became confused pretty quickly. The menu is simple enough, but I'm just not used to it. You can add toppings like jalapeños and avocado to your burgers, hence the "just like you like it" slogan.”

Come on, Johnson, get it together, brother. This isn’t rocket science.

He also admires the massive drinks, the fries and the spicy ketchup, which, yeah, of course he does. It is incredible stuff.

Dude actually goes in pretty deep. Read the whole thing here.