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The pageantry of summer shows

Dale Roe

This week's TV picks:

Monday, June 13

"The Bachelorette" 7 p.m., ABC: Ashley is courted in a place in Thailand that sounds like the locale in a bawdy limerick, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Tuesday, June 14

"Pretty Little Liars" 7 p.m., ABC Family: Season 2 kicks off tonight.

"The Nine Lives of Chloe King" 8 p.m., ABC Family: Vampires? Werewolves? Pfft. As you might guess from the title of this series premiere, this drama's about cat people (and not the crazy kind like that old lady down the street).

"Memphis Beat" 8 p.m., TNT: In the second season opener, Rice wants Whitehead to take the lieutenant's exam. I'm not a cop like these guys are, but that sounds like stealing.

"Hawthorne" 9 p.m., TNT: Season 3 opens with Derek Luke guest-starring as Candy's labor begins. I'm not sure what role Luke is playing, but I doubt it's the baby.

Wednesday, June 15

"An Animal Saved My Life" 7 p.m., NG Wild: OK, fine. But where was that sage squirrel when I plunked down thousands on that Betamax set-up back in the `70s?

"101 Gadgets That Changed the World" 8 p.m., History: I'll bet Betamax isn't in there.

"Top Chef Masters" 9 p.m., Bravo: Season 3 concludes with a four-course meal and a do-over.

"Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman" 9 p.m., Science: Do you think we'll both fit?

"Toddlers & Tiaras" 9 p.m., TLC: Season 4 of this creepy show begins with a contest in Texas.

"Hot in Cleveland" 9 p.m., TV Land: New episodes find the gals in Amish country.

"Happily Divorced" 9:30 p.m., TV Land: Fran Drescher ("The Nanny") stars as a florist in the premiere of this comedy based upon the end of her marriage with Peter Marc Jacobson, who co-produces.

Thursday, June 16

"Naked Science" 7 p.m., National Geographic: Really? Talk about budget cuts.

Friday, June 17

"Flea Man" 7 p.m., NatGeo: Prepare to be disappointed … this new series is about antiquing, not genetic mutation.

"Friday Night Lights" 7 p.m., NBC: Vince's possible suspension creates problems for Luke.

"Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" 8 p.m., ABC: Jamie Lee Curtis gives the chef an award. I hope it's not a pallet of fibrous yogurt.

"Infomania" 8 p.m., Current: I guess there are worse manias to have.

"Paranormal Challenge" 8 p.m., Travel: Amateur ghost hunters? More like amateur potential victims.

Saturday, June 18

"Outcasts" 8 p.m., BBC America: Imported science fiction!

"Celebrity Ghost Stories" 8 p.m., Biography: More like celebrity ghost victims.

"The Inbetweeners" 10 p.m., BBC America: The final season begins tonight.

"Come Fly With Me" 10:30 p.m., BBC America: The debut of this airport mockumentary has to be funnier that "Wings" was, right?

Sunday, June 19

"Daytime Emmy Awards" 7 p.m., CBS: Shouldn't this be airing at, like, 3 in the afternoon? Wayne Brady hosts.

"Drop Dead Diva" 8 p.m., Lifetime: Paula Abdul guest stars in the Season 3 kick-off.

"Falling Skies" 8 p.m., TNT: The much-anticipated Steven Spielberg-produced alien invasion drama premieres tonight. And while I wasn't really thrilled by the first few episodes, at least they skipped all the plodding political machinations and got right to the action.