You've heard 'em before. Maybe it's not your dad who cracks the jokes that make you groan (my father-in-law does; my maternal grandmother does, too, with the most mischievous grin), but, in any case, the corny puns and wordplay that have come to be known as dad jokes have achieved their own funny following.
"Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!"
"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
"Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked."
You know, that sort of thing. (For more examples, if you really need them, go here.) People have begun to embrace the cheesy humor so much that this weekend, there will be three local dad jokes competitions in honor of Father's Day. Two are at Austin breweries; another is at a beer bar. Dads like drinking beer, dads like making corny jokes, so they must like doing these things together, I suppose.
Here's what to expect at these competitions and additional Father's Day events.
Dad Jokes Competition & Beer Release at the Brewtorium. Get your corniest material ready because it's time for the Brewtorium's second annual Dad Jokes Competition, held in celebration of the release of the Dad Jokes Mexican Lager. You can compete individually or as part of a team, just as long as you keep it goofy and clean. After all, dad jokes are nothing if not family-friendly.
Just want to watch and laugh? Come early or bring your own chair for a guaranteed seat. There will also be a round of Dad Olympics. The event runs from 3 to 5 p.m. on Saturday, the day before Father's Day, completely free of charge. The Brewtorium is located at 6015 Dillard Circle.
Dad's Back: Beer Release & Joke-Off at St. Elmo Brewing. OK, apparently your pop doesn't just like beer. He wants a lager. Like the Brewtorium, St. Elmo is also bringing back a lager — in this case, the Dad American Pilsner that you can order in steins for $10. Enjoy it while listening to a fierce, rousing joke-off that will have you rolling your eyes and guffawing in equal measure. The free competition starts around 2 p.m. Sunday at 440 E. Saint Elmo Road.
Rad Dad Lagerfest at Craft Pride. At this inaugural Father's Day event, there will be many Texas-brewed lagers to choose from. The Rainey Street beer bar hosts its dad jokes competition on Sunday afternoon that will be judged by a panel of beer industry dads. Think you have what it takes to crack a smile out of these stone-faced fathers? Prove it. Or don't. Watching others try is OK, too. The free Lagerfest kicks off at noon at 61 Rainey St.
Is your dad like my dad, with a dry sense of humor that wouldn't really fly in these competitions? No problem. Here's how else you can celebrate the fantastic father figures in your life.
Dads Eat Free at Pluckers Wing Bar. Treat Dad to lunch without having to pay a penny on him. (So you should probably give him something else, too.) All day on Sunday at all Pluckers locations, fathers can enjoy a complimentary entree, side and nonalcoholic beverage (up to a $15 value) from Pluckers’ extensive menu when they show their Pluckers Club or Pluckers Club Lite membership on the Pluckers mobile app upon arrival.
Chocolate and Whiskey for Dad at Delysia Chocolatier. Spoil your old man with two things he probably can't resist — Texas bourbon and chocolate truffles. Pairings include the smoked salted bourbon pecan chocolate truffle with either the Ben Milam Rye or Bourbon. Just drop in anytime between 12 to 4 p.m. Sunday at Delysia's culinary center, at 2000 Windy Terrace, Ste. 2C, for the free tasting.
Dad's Day Out at Scholz Garten. A very Austin sort of Father's Day celebration awaits at the country's longest running biergarten. Dad's Day Out, running from 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday, features live music by Journey tribute band Departure and Japan's DJ Giant Hornets. There will also be free open-lane bowling, yard games hosted by Texas Playboys, mustache face painting by Austin Facial Hair Club, and all-American fare such as hot dogs, barbecue and cold beer. Scholz is at 1607 San Jacinto Blvd.