Get most of these ‘award’-winning unhealthy meals here in Austin (or don’t!)

The Center for Science in the Public Interest wants you to take a closer look at what you’re eating when you go out to eat. 

Fortunately for us, they got all snarky about it.


(Insert bombastic drums, smattering of confetti here)

The consumer advocacy organization has come up with eight menu items from nationwide chains and they pull no punches in describing how they blot out all reasonable standards of health and nutrition.

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Here’s the thing, Austinites … if you hate your pants size or your arteries, six of those menu items are right here in Central Texas!

Here’s a look at three of them:

1. Targeted under “Worst Special Effects” is the Vampire Taco Combo from Yard House (in Austin at Domain Northside, 11800 Domain Blvd #700.

A pair of those tacos, rice, pinto beans and a half yard of IPA comes out to 2,040 calories, the CSPI reports. Or equivalent to “nine Taco Bell beef tacos plus three cans of Budweiser” — which sounds uncomfortably close to college.

2. Targeted under “Least Creative Mashup” is the Honey-Chipotle Crispers & Waffles from Chili’s (at least a dozen locations in Central Texas). 

At 2,510 calories, CSPI reports, this Crispers creation has two days’ worth of saturated fat, sodium and added sugar. Plus bacon!

Clean your plate, CSPI says, and you’ve eaten the equivalent of “five Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts smothered in 30 McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets and five packets of barbecue sauce” — which sounds like a bet you wouldn’t want to win.

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3. Targeted under “Worst Revival” is the Double SmokeShack (with fries and peanut butter shake, of course) from Shake Shack (at 1100 S Lamar Blvd in Central Austin and at the Domain).

At 2,240 calories, this combo weighs in with more than two-and-a-half days’ worth of saturated fat. And if you can eat it all, it’s the equivalent of “three McDonald's Quarter Pounders with Cheese plus three McDonald's Vanilla Cones.”

Morgan Spurlock would be aghast.

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