It is about to rain in Austin. A lot. For awhile. ( Check out the Statesman’s excellent coverage here.) So, you might decide, “Hey, I should go spend an inordinate amount of time in an Alamo Drafthouse. It”ll be your own little Fantastic Fest. (And, yes, pay for each screening you attend.)
Anytime a friend visits a new restaurant, or I am at one in a new city, we always text “What’s the order?” So, while I’m sure you have your go-to Alamo Drafthouse orders, here’s my advice.
For anyone who is not a vegan:
Don’t start with popcorn. Rookie move. You will fill up fast and won’t be able to eat your meal. Order popcorn (ask for “light butter”) and/or chips and queso, AFTER you eat your meal.
Keep these handy:
Sour Patch Kids.
Crushed avocado toast with chili flakes and lemon. Tap into your inner Millenial and pay $7 for the toast. It is bright, has some fat and comes sliced for easy sharing. Also, fried pickles cuz duh. Also, RIP mozz sticks.
Entree for the meat-eaters:
Pizza with Brussels sprouts, smoked bacon and goat cheese. Blue Hawaii used to be my go-to pizza order, and they even served it for awhile after it left the menu. But, no longer. So, go with this one. You get your veggies, and the goat cheese gives a nice citrus balance to the smoky bacon and complements the vegetal tang of the sprouts. If you’re hungover (or plan to be), order the pepperoni (RIP Raging Bull). Pair the pizza with a 512 Pecan Porter.
Entree for the vegetarians:
The Beyond Meat veggie burger will shock and awe you. Order the Spicy Blue version with hot sauce, aioli and blue cheese. Pair it with a Five Rivers Cabernet Sauvignon. If you’re too scared to eat something in the dark that so closely resembles beef, get the spaghetti squash with marinara and mozzarella. Acid, salt and fat.
NOW order your chips & queso and popcorn.
Dessert: The Triple Chocolate shake on the special “Ingrid Goes West” menu. It has cereal crumbles and whipped cream. And lots o’ chocolate. You can’t ‘Gram it, but it good.
One more sly tip: When everything closes, the Alamo is often open. During the ICY GRIP of 2007, when all restaurants were closed, I ordered a pizza to-go from the Drafthouse. I looked like a genius.
For which movies to see (and abstruse music and culture jokes), follow Statesman movie critic Joe Gross on Twitter.
For the full Alamo Drafthouse menu (at least South Lamar’s), click here.