Sweet, glorious fire and blood.
An awkward family reunion, a flirty archaeological expedition and finally, finally (finally!) we see Drogon unleashed on Westeros.
Oh my stars, so much to love. Sunday’s "Game of Thrones" episode "The Spoils of War" was certainly a ripper and a nail-biter with loads of tension, action and a very ominous ending. Let’s dive in.
Littlefinger: After Jaime Lannister hits up the Highgarden ATM to give Bronn some coin and Cersei discusses finance, we head to Winterfell, where Littlefinger thinks he’s being a nice guy by giving Bran the dagger that nearly killed him, which Littlefinger notes played a part in all of Bran’s recent misery. Worst secret Santa ever. Littlefinger tries to wax poetic about Bran’s ordeal only to have Bran cut him off, saying, "Chaos is a ladder," an homage to Littlefinger’s most well-known monologue from season three. The Three-Eyed Raven is onto Littlefinger, and he knows it.
Creepy Bran or creepy Littlefinger? It’s a close call. Contributed by HBO
Tyrion: Meanwhile, Jon Snow and Daenerys go on their first date to the mines of Dragonstone. Jon is about to switch on the blacklight and crank up some Led Zeppelin when Tyrion drops a wet blanket on the Ross and Rachel of "Game of Thrones." Oops, Olenna Tyrell is dead, my bad. Dany questions Tyrion's wisdom and wonders if he is capable of destroying his own family, but, phew, Jon defuses the situation.
Arya/Brienne: Arya arrives at Winterfell in the episode’s most emotional scene as the two Stark sisters reunite in front of their father’s grave. It quickly turns awkward, though, when Sansa realizes her tomboy little sis is now a full-blown murder machine. Bran shows up to make matters worse -- he’s been about as emotional as a sock since he used a tree to download the entire Internet into his brain. (Don’t read the comments, Bran.) But he regifts that sweet Valyrian dagger to Arya, and she goes on to try the thing out with a vicious spar with Brienne. Our favorite Lady of Tarth's sword nearly lops Arya’s head off while Arya faux shanks Brienne repeatedly. Hell yes.
Still super lame. Contributed by HBO
Theon: Jon and Davos are talking Dany - "I’ve noticed you staring at her good heart, wink wink" - when Theon returns. Theon sees Jon on shore and nearly paddles that boat right back out to sea, but it’s too late. Jon says he would kill Theon for, y’know, sacking Winterfell, faking the deaths of Jon's younger brothers and paving the way for Ramsey Bolton to set up shop, if not for saving Sansa that one time.
Jaime: On the road to King’s Landing, Jaime and Bronn have a friendly chat with Dickon (cue Bronn giggling), when Bronn’s spidey sense starts going bonkers. And here it is folks, the moment we’ve been waiting for since them dragons first hatched oh so long ago. Drogon has entered the battlefield! And along with him is Dany’s Dothraki horde of arak-wielding bezerkers. There’s a Braveheart cavalry charge, and a Dothraki warrior nearly kills Jaime if not for the helpful Dickon (hehe).
Bronn: Bronn is ordered to find the anti-aircraft gun, a ballista called the Scorpion, and is stalked by a Dothraki cavalier who gives us perhaps the episode’s goriest moment when he unhoofs Bronn’s steed. Yuck. It looks bad for Bronn, but then the Scorpion delivers the night’s best death when Bronn shoots a bolt the size of a fencepost into the warrior’s chest.