Google is a lifesaver, you guys. Just in the last few days, I’ve gotten answers to everything from “How to roast a spaghetti squash” to “how to program a universal remote” — invaluable advice, am I right? It’s the best place to turn when you don’t know how to do something, and apparently Americans don’t know how to do a lot of things, according to a new study from Estately.

The real estate company examined the most popular “how to” questions by using Google’s autocomplete function, then they ran those search terms through Google Trends tool to see which states searched for those questions the most. And the results are, well, interesting.

Apparently, Texans searched “How to sell your soul” more than any other state. I’m not sure I really want to know what that’s about. We were also really curious about how to be romantic and how to be better wives and husbands, which is sweet but also maybe a little bit sad?

Image via Estately

A few of the terms might say something about the state of education in Texas. People really aren’t sure how to spell out the numbers 40 and 90, and apparently teens (or their parents) are worried about either how to become valedictorian or how to simply graduate high school.

Other things Texans were curious about, from the facepalm-worthy to the potentially NSFW to the downright alarming:

How to bathe a cat How to get bigger lips How to get rid of bedbugs How to make gak How to use bronzer How to make a pipe bomb How to hold a baby How to grow a beard fast How to be gay How to become a Jedi How to be on top How to play clarinet How to read minds How to clean a gun

Don’t worry, though, Texas isn’t the only state with bizarre Google searches. People in Hawaii want to know how to be a ninja, North Carolina wants to know how to be awesome and people in Florida and Kansas are having a bit of an identity crisis: They wanted to know how to leave Florida and how to find Kansas, respectively. So if there’s a silver lining to our strange search history, it’s that at least after we sell our souls, we still get to live in Texas.