New "Rules," old Betty and an overdue return to school keep us occupied during the wait for the Grammys. Here’s what to watch and what to avoid on television this week.
Monday: "Rules of Engagement" 7:30 p.m., CBS: Is there anybody who’s still unclear on these rules? We’re kicking off Season 7 tonight, and I’m pretty sure I had them all memorized after two.
"Monday Mornings" 9 p.m., TNT: Well, they got the day right, but my morning begins around 2:30 p.m., not 9. David E. Kelley ("Chicago Hope") sets his latest medical drama in Portland, Ore., and bases it on a book by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
Tuesday: "Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special" 7 p.m., NBC: I love Betty White, but I hate it when TV show titles turn into math word problems. Everybody from Blake Shelton to Bill Clinton shows up to pay tribute, as long as they catch the right train going west at 50 miles per hour.
"Smash" 8 p.m., NBC: "Bombshell" cast members ball change and heel turn into a second season.
Wednesday: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" 9 p.m., CBS: Tonight’s episode is the first part of a crossover that will wrap up on "CSI:NY." You’ll see.
Thursday: "The Vampire Diaries," 7 p.m., The CW: Vicious, bloodsucking teens bare their fangs at each other. No, wait — that’s "The Carrie Diaries." Incidentally, I think every CW series should include the word "Diaries." I’d watch "The Arrow Diaries," wouldn’t you?
"Community" 7 p.m., NBC: Are you worried about the quirky sitcom’s tone changing with the ouster of creator Dan Harmon? Don’t be. Tonight’s Season 4 premiere is funny and clever, even if — unlike most of the Greendale gang — it tries a bit too hard.
Friday: "The Job" 7 p.m., CBS: It was only a matter of time until television producers jumped on Americans’ latest shared misery — joblessness — as exploitation fodder for a new reality competition.
"Touch" 7 p.m., Fox: Season 2 premieres tonight, and it’s so much better than that rejected car wash drama, "Touch-less."
"CSI:NY" 8 p.m., CBS: Told ya’. That crossover episode that began on Wednesday’s "CSI" wraps up here tonight.
Saturday: "Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown" 7 p.m., ABC. The Peanuts gang’s hearts are all twisted up in this 1975 animated special, followed by 2002’s "A Charlie Brown Valentine," in which the blockhead pines for the red-haired girl while Peppermint Patty pines for him. All that’s missing is the rose ceremony.
"Heebie Jeebies" 8 p.m., Syfy: You know what gives me the heebie jeebies? Seeing the words "Syfy" and "original movie" in the same sentence.
Sunday: "Once Upon A Time" 7 p.m., ABC: "Lost’s" Hurley, Jorge Garcia, plays a giant in tonight’s episode. That’s what happens to you when you eat all the food from the hatch.
"55th Annual Grammy Awards" 7 p.m., CBS: LL Cool J hosts; the Lumineers, Jack White, Taylor Swift and others perform.
"The Walking Dead" 8 p.m., AMC: Lumbering and shuffling isn’t exactly ball changing and heel turning, but this smashing zombie drama is back, too. The second half of the third season begins tonight.