"The Bachelorette" 7 p.m., ABC: Off with their heads! Emily axes two more suitors after a trip to London.
"Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" 9 p.m., Food: Guy oinks down duck pastrami at Austin's Noble Pig.
"NBA Finals" 8 p.m., ABC: Football has the Super Bowl! Baseball has the World Series! Enjoy game one of pro basketball's "Finals."
"MasterChef " 8 p.m., Fox: The top 18 contestants prepare dishes using duck and bananas as ingredients, which ticks me off because I'm stuck here sitting on an amazing "Banana-stuffed Duck" recipe.
"Love in the Wild" 9 p.m., NBC: The new couples leap off a 40-foot cliff, which, ironically, is how most of my relationships end.
"Dogs in the City" 7 p.m., CBS: Carrie has a run-in with Mr. Big Dog. Meanwhile, Charlotte gets hung up on grooming and Samantha experiments with a shock collar.
"Take Me Out" 7 p.m., Fox: Oh, George Lopez ... we thought you'd never ask. Hold on while we pass your request along to the CIA.
"Megastunts - Highwire Over Niagara Falls - Live!" 8 p.m., ABC: While you're attempting this daredevil feat, Nik Wallenda, watch out for all of those treacherous exclamation points!!!
"Fairly Legal" 8 p.m., USA: In the case of Ben vs. Justin, who will Kate choose? Find out in tonight's second-season finale.
"Major League Baseball" 6 p.m., Fox: The Rangers take on the Astros in Arlington. Who will win? Ten bucks says it'll be a team from Texas.
"Cars" 7 p.m., ABC: Here's your chance to see Pixar's second- or third-worst animated film crammed full of commercial breaks.
"U.S. Open Golf: Final-Round Play" 3 p.m., NBC: Who will snatch this year's $8 million purse? I'm guessing it'll be that shady guy at the front of the gallery on the 7th hole. Who wears Nikes with a 3-piece suit?
"Falling Skies" 8 p.m., TNT: Back-to-back hourlong episodes herald the return of the us vs. aliens drama's second season.
Reach Dale Roe at 912-5923.