Monday: "The Glass House" 9 p.m., ABC: The most exciting thing about this alleged "Big Brother" ripoff is whether it will air despite CBS's thrown legal stones.
Tuesday: "NBA Finals: Game 4" 8 p.m., ABC: You know who's really excited about this Thunder vs. Heat match-up? Your local weather team.
"Pyros" 8 p.m., TWC: You know who's really excited about the premiere episode of this documentary show in which high winds wreak havoc on a team of fireworks presenters? Your local weather team.
Wednesday: "Futurama" 9 p.m., Comedy Central: Bender's fling with a soda machine produces offspring (will it call him "Pop"?) in the hourlong Season 7 kickoff.
"School Spirits" 9 p.m., Syfy: New series centers on otherworldly happenings at institutions of learning. Not featured tonight: the ghost who realizes he's in the middle of the classroom in his underwear and forgot to study for the big test.
Thursday: "Justin Bieber: All Around the World" 7 p.m., NBC: It's about time this young Bieber fella got some media attention.
Friday: "Deadly Seas" 8 p.m., Discovery: The show pulls into harbor after tonight's series finale.
"Posh Pets: Lifestyles of the Rich & Furry" 8 p.m., HGTV: If this show isn't hosted by "Robin Leash," it ought to be.
"Embarrassing Bodies" 9 p.m., DFH: Hey, I'm standing right here.
"Comedy Bang Bang" 9 p.m., IFC: "Mad Men's" hot (and hot-toothed) Jon Hamm appears in a filmed segment.
Saturday: "U.S. Olympic Trials" 7 p.m., NBC: The run-up to the Summer Olympic Games continues with these track & field events.
"Arachnoquake" 8 p.m., Syfy: An earthquake unleashes gigantic spiders on New Orleans. Too soon, TV producers. Too soon.
Sunday: "Oprah's Next Chapter" 7 p.m., OWN: Oprah chats with the Kardashians. Can this be the last chapter, please? I want a new book.
"TVLand Presents the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award 2012" 8 p.m., TVLand: Meryl Streep honors Shirley MacLaine with this year's American Film Institute award. She gets one every lifetime!
"The Great Escape" 9 p.m., TNT: The people who brought you "The Amazing Race" are responsible for this new reality program. In tonight's premiere, teams of competitors must escape from Alcatraz, which, happens to be the name of a TV show that escaped from next fall's schedule.
Contact Dale Roe at email@example.com