TV

The zen of David Hasselhoff

By Casey Laughman
ASSOCIATED PRESS
Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Admit it. When you were growing up, you wanted to be David Hasselhoff — or get married to him. Hey, who didn't? He had it all: a talking car, a show where he played a lifeguard with a bunch of impossibly good-looking female coworkers who were required to spend most of their time in skimpy bathing suits, the love and adoration of the nation of Germany. How could it possibly get any better than that?

But then, for a while, we were all plunged into sadness as The Hoff fell off the radar. "Knight Rider" was canceled, then "Baywatch." It seemed that time had passed him by. Not even an inspired cameo in "Dodgeball" — as the coach of the German team, naturally — could catapult him back to the dizzying heights that he experienced as Michael Knight and Mitch Buchannon.

He became a bit of an Internet legend, with tribute sites such as agodamongmen.com popping up and even the bad movie Website Opposable Thumb Films using the Hoff scale to rate films. (Ranging from one Hoff to four Hoffs — or Maximum-Hoff!!! Let's just say that four Hoffs was not a compliment.) It seemed like Hasselhoff was doomed to live out life as a German pop star and the butt of Internet jokes.

But then it happened. A seemingly innocent appearance in the crowd at the finale of "American Idol" set something in motion. His tearful reaction to Taylor Hicks' triumph was just the first of a string of appearances that would boldly announce to the world that he was no longer just David Hasselhoff, former TV star — The Hoff was back. Suddenly, he was everywhere — getting name-checked during the NBA Finals, when Dallas Mavericks stud Dirk Nowitzki (from Germany, of course) said that he sang Hasselhoff songs to calm himself at the free throw line, an appearance in "Click" as Adam Sandler's smarmy boss, as a judge on "America's Got Talent." And, of course, as a YouTube legend when his video for his cover of "Hooked on a Feeling" became a smash.

But what happened? Why, instead of fading into obscurity like so many other TV stars, did he come roaring back? Why is he so busy that he couldn't free up time to be interviewed for this story? Why is it suddenly the Summer of Hoff? Here's five possible reasons:

THE TAN

Think hard. Have you ever seen a pale David Hasselhoff? It'd be like waking up in the morning and noticing that the sun is suddenly blue. On the one hand, you'd think "Hmmm. That's interesting." On the other, you'd barricade yourself in the basement with a shotgun and wait for the zombies to start showing up. If there was ever meant to be a spiritual successor to George Hamilton, then it's Hasselhoff — as gloriously bronzed as a Thanksgiving turkey.

THE HAIR

In the '80s, it was a magnificent mane of black curls — the perfect cross between a perm and an afro. Now it's a little more clean-cut, but still perfectly coifed — just corporate enough to be in a boardroom, just wild enough to inspire images of The Hoff striding confidently into a club and making the room stand still without even trying as women faint and men bow their heads in shame, realizing that the ultimate Alpha Male has just made an appearance.

THE SENSITIVITY

He cried in the audience of "American Idol," and most likely millions of women fell in love with him all over again. They loved him in the '80s for the bad-boy leather jacket on "Knight Rider" and the chiseled body on "Baywatch." Now, they know that he's not afraid to let the world know when he's been deeply touched by a slightly pudgy, prematurely gray guy from Alabama that thinks he's Smokey Robinson's long-lost white son, and it makes them swoon.

THE SWAGGER

Oh, it's still there. Just take one look at his scenes in "Dodgeball," when he berates the German team for failing him. This is a man you don't want to cross, folks. K.I.T.T. may have been recycled into a toaster oven a long time ago, but The Hoff will still take you down if you get on his bad side. Plus, he was a lifeguard who also fought crime from time to time. You don't just lose those skills.

THE INNATEHOFF-NESS

There's something about Hasselhoff that is bulletproof. Sure, he's referred to in snide tones most of the time but you can't help but shake the feeling that he's in on the joke. Knock him all you want, but he just keeps coming back for more. "Knight Rider" was silly, but it made him a hero to millions of young kids who still have a soft spot for him 20 years later. "Baywatch" was derided as pure cheese with a side of skin, but it was one of the greatest guilty pleasures ever to grace TV. And now he's reached a point that a mere appearance triggers a "Hey! That's David Hasselhoff!" reaction. Not a bad place to be.

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