A Girl Walks Into A Bar

Hello, goodbye and mmmmmm, beer

My family, trying hard not to laugh, sometimes points out similarities between me and Lisa Simpson. The earnestness. The geeky love of school, including poetry. That squeaky social conscience. The profound aversion to B's and misused words. A penchant for pearls. An affection for Al Gore.

But though I might be more akin to Lisa, it was her dad Homer I identified withwhen I stepped into the Horseshoe bar.

The Horseshoe: exactly the right kind of place to say, "Mmmm, beeeer" since 1965.

When friend Matt and I walked into the 78704 institution early one Tuesday evening, several of the folks sitting around the bar said hello, nice and friendly. We ordered Bud Light in a bottle ($2 during the noon-9 p.m. happy hour), though the Lone Star was tempting and would have gone well with all the University of Texas décor bedecking the walls. But the Bud Light was certainly in keeping with the NASCAR lights attached to the ceiling and the poster congratulating driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. for his efforts. Heck, Bud Light even goes with the Johnny Cash on the jukebox, as do Coors, Pearl, Miller, Michelob, and a couple of the other fine beers available in bottles and cans.

Matt and I took our beers, turned from the horseshoe-shaped bar and plopped ourselves down on vinyl and metal chairs He had pictures of his 3-day-old niece to show me, and I had some anger to vent.

Photo by Aubrey Edwards for AA-S With shuffleboard, car decor and beer in cans and bottles, the Horseshoe is the perfect dive. Horseshoe Lounge. 2034 S. Lamar Blvd. 442-9111.

When people talk about the old South Austin, the rough and tumble, beer and BBQ South Austin, they often mention the Horseshoe, a place you most certainly won't find quiche or wine coolers on the menu (or a menu for that matter), and where you can find parking. Chips and pretzels are available in small bags pinned up behind the counter and it's beer, beer and more beer -- and it's all in bottles and cans, not on draft. No wine coolers, no champagne, no booze at all -- unless you count Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade. No credit cards, no checks -- cash only please. It's a dive, folks. A real-live South Lamar dive with cold beer, lots of people smoking, a pool table and shuffleboard.

Because I live north of the river (up by the Poodle Dog and Ginny's, the northside equivalents to the Horseshoe), I don't stop into the Horseshoe very often. But I think I -- besides Matt, who's new in town -- was the only person in the bar that Tuesday who could claim that: Everyone else, from the shiny 20-year-olds to the sixtysomethings in worn ballcaps, seemed pretty regular.

I say that because they were engaged in conversation with each other, because people called out each other's names, because they sat in their barstools they way I sit in my favorite overstuffed chair at home. And because, as we were leaving, more than one person called out "Goodnight," each of them playing the role of host. "I really like that, when people say goodnight," said Matt, a native Texan and South Austin kinda guy. Yeah, me too.

'A Girl Walks into a Bar ...' alternates with Jonathon Goodsell's 'Night Moves.' Please visit the 'A Girl Walks into a Bar ...' archive for more reviews. Contact Moira at bargirl@covad.net.