Think you're as 's-m-r-t' as Homer?

From Cowabunga to D'oh! Test your knowledge of all things Simpson at pub quiz

By Patrick Beach
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Thursday, September 10, 2009

What are the words to the commercial advertising Homer Simpson's snow plowing business?

'Call Mr. Plow/That's my name/That name again is Mr. Plow.'

How can you remember that but you can't remember where you parked your car?

I think it's all the mercury in the fish.

Kind of like Blinky, the three-eyed fish on 'The Simpsons.'

Yeah, but, of course, the extra eye there is because of pollution from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

And we're having this conversation because?

Geeks Who Drink, the pub quiz racket, is having 'Simpsons' 'The Yellow Fever Quiz' 7 p.m. Sunday at Opal Divine's Freehouse, 700 W. Sixth St. More than 50 teams participated in a similar event late last month in Denver, the town GWD call home.

But don't you have a 'Simpsons' trivia game at home?

Yes. What I don't have at home is draft beer.

I see. So how does it work?

Clubs pay Geeks to do the lion's share of promotion, train the quizmasters and, of course, come up with the questions. Quizmaster-in-Chief John Dicker says he's basically the quiz editor, working with about 20 freelancers, roughly five of whom wrote the questions for this trivia quiz.

Would he care to provide a sample question?

He said he didn't want to compromise the quiz.

D'oh!

Yeah, that's what they all say — they all say 'd'oh.'

Touché. Who says that and in what episode?

Chief Wiggum when he's arresting Homer in 'Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 2.'

You're pretty good at this.

Only because I'm writing your questions as well as my answers. My sons know this stuff chapter and verse. They are Geeks Not Yet Old Enough to Drink.

C'mon. One sample question?

All right. What was originally Kent Brockman's name?

Kenny Brocklestein.

You SO did not know that.

OK, an easier one: The sign inside the Springfield Retirement Castle thanks you for not discussing what?

The outside world.

Correct. OK, what else did this Dicker guy tell you?

One round will be about famous quotes like the above, another on minor characters. Prizes include bar cash for first and second place, gag 'Simpsons' gifts and you get the idea. But mainly you're competing for bragging rights. And you're there to have a good time.

And the food's really good at Opal's.

That would be a true statement. Killer burgers and they try to use as many local ingredients as possible.

Isn't it kind of weird, though, that this thing is being held at 7 p.m. Sunday, exactly when the show airs?

Yeah, but remember no new episodes until after the World Series, which Fox airs. That's why the annual Halloween specials, 'Treehouse of Horror,' sometimes don't air until closer to Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or Groundhog Day.

That was kind of a fun movie.

Agreed.

Does Dicker consider himself a fan?

'Of the golden years,' he said, back in the George Meyer and Conan O'Brien writing heyday.

Both of them former presidents of the Harvard Lampoon.

Yes, and one of them like 11 feet tall.

How much does this cost?

Nothing except your bar tab. Which, knowing you, will not be insubstantial.

Would you say 'The Simpsons' is the only animated series to make a reference to 'Rashomon?'

That's not how I remember it.

pbeach@statesman.com; 445-3603