TEST: Are you an Austin expert?

The AQ Test

Test your Austinite Quotient to find out how much you know about our city

By Michael Corcoran
AUSTIN AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Wednesday, September 05, 2007

According to a recent migration tracking report by Metro Outlook, a net of 313,185 new residents — more than 75 a day — moved to the Austin area from 1994 to 2005. That's a whole lot of people who are sick of hearing about how Bruce Springsteen once played the Armadillo World Headquarters for $1 a ticket.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could rent a five-bedroom house for $150 a month back then — well I just took $325,000 out of my trust fund to buy a loft near SoCo," says the young transplant in the "Keep Austin Weird" T-shirt.

OK, we'll give you SoCo for South Congress Avenue and SoLa for South Lamar Boulevard — those are grandfathered in — but the first time we hear someone refer to Burnet Road, north of Research, as NoBu, it might be time to enact hipster deportation legislation.

There should be more to being a true Austinite than just moving here because you had a great time at South by Southwest and thought it was like that here year round. You should have to know a few basic things about Austin before you can officially refer to it as your hometown.

You should know that Waterloo Records takes its name from Austin's original title, not a subway stop in London. Newcomers should have to pass this AQ test to prove they're more Austinite than neophyte.

1. In chronological order of their closings, list the following late, lamented Austin clubs:

Liberty Lunch
Vulcan Gas Company
New Orleans Club
Armadillo World Headquarters
Club Foot

2.'Esther's Follies' takes its name from:

A) Aunt Esther from 'Sanford and Son'
B) Actress Esther Williams
C) Queen Esther from the Bible
D) Sixth Street's first bearded cross-dresser 'Esther' (so much cooler than Leslie)

3. What follows are the phonetic spellings of Hill Country locales. How are they spelled on maps?

'Burn it'
'Green'
'Manshack'
'Mayner'

4.Match the colorful first names of these Austinites with the commonplace last names

Cactus
Rooster
Pebbles
Poodie
Quality
Echo
Wadsworth
Johnson
Locke
Andrews
Pryor
Quinn

5. Which of the following was never a surname of the former Austin-based state comptroller?

A) Keeton
B) McClellan
C) Rylander
D) Onassis

6. Before Austin was tagged 'the Live Music Capital Of The World' it was known as ...

A) 'The City with the Violet Crown'
B) 'Commie Central'
C) 'Dallas with a swimmin' hole'
D) 'The City with the Violence Crown' (after Charles Whitman's killing spree)

7. WORD JUMBLE:

Unscramble these words to reveal what SXSW organizers hate more than private party hosts who fly in their own acts.

SQOMD
IXTXS
BV7LX
QRXMO
BAZQZ
VXQAN
XDRZA
YQXYD

8. How many mistakes can you find in this Willie Nelson set list?

"Crazy"
"Whisky River"
"Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain"
Song written after 1995
"Me and Bee"
Medley: "Stardust"/"Georgia On My Mind"/"Cowboys Are Frequently Fond of Each Other"
Intermission

9. Which of the following is not a Kinky Friedman song?

A) 'Ride 'Em Jewboy'
B) 'Bagels on the Brazos'

C) 'They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore'
D) 'Get Your Biscuits In the Oven (and Your Buns in The Bed)'

10.Paul Mitchell or John Paul DeJoria?

11. What's the longest period of time KGSR has gone without playing a song by either Patty Griffin, Lucinda Williams, Kelly Willis or Eliza Gilkyson?

A) 10 minutes
B) 12 minutes
C) 12 and a half minutes
D) 15 minutes

12. Match the Austinites with their celebrity friends.

Augie Garrido
Louis Black
Charlie Sexton
Dale Dudley
Bill & Ruth Carter
Jody Denberg
Grupo Fantasma
Roy Spence
Turk Pipkin

Carlos Mencia
Yoko Ono
Prince
Kevin Costner
Johnny Depp
Harry Anderson
Bob Dylan
Bill and Hillary Clinton
Jonathan Demme, John Sayles, Richard Linklater, Quentin Tarantino, Mike Judge, Robert Rodriguez, Matthew McConaughey

13. Put the name in the metaphor:

A) 'That's a bigger "senior moment" than (KVET morning radio co-host) forgetting to plug a Geezinslaws gig.'
B) 'Yeah, that'll happen ... right around the time we see another "rahodeb" post in a (organic grocery business) chat room.'
C) 'That's about as likely as (veteran country bandleader) going out with that KXAN cutie Michelle Valles.'