Grade: C-

Verdict: Bad title; bad horror flick.

Details: Starring Justin Long and Gina Philips. Written and directed by Victor Salva. Rated R for terror violence/gore, profanity and brief nudity. One hour, 30 minutes.

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Review: The villain of “Jeepers Creepers” is a monster who likes to collect body parts from his victims. His MO is a lot like the movie he's in, which is stitched together from earlier, better horror flicks. “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre,” “The Silence of the Lambs,” “The Terminator,” “Aliens,” “The Stand,” “Children of the Corn,” “The Blair Witch Project.” Why, that no-good, evil Creepers-critter even borrowed his face from Arnold Schwarzenegger's nasty ol' Predator.

Spotting all the steals — or what I'm sure writer-director Victor Salva would call “homages” — can at least keep you occupied during the movie's many lulls. It's the equivalent of the games college-age Darry (Justin Long) and his big sister Trish (Gina Philips) play on a middle-of-nowhere road, driving home for spring break. They bicker, joke and try to spot vanity license plates that spell out slogans.

The one that really catches their attention reads BEATNGU, attached to a tanklike truck straight out of “The Road Warrior” that runs them off the road. Darry thinks it's supposed to spell “beating you.” That's only the first of his big mistakes. The biggest of all comes soon after, when he and Trish spot the crazy driver dumping what appears to be a couple of bodies down a pipe leading beneath an abandoned church.

Naturally, Darry absolutely positively has to climb down that pipe and see what's in that basement. And to think, some people prefer to go to Daytona Beach for spring break!

Now, to make a good horror flick (or in this case, a not very good one), the characters have to do really stupid things. Salva halfheartedly acknowledges this by having Trish try to keep Darry from going down that pipe because, she says, it's exactly what dumb people do in scary movies. In other words, she at least seems smart enough to get back behind the wheel of that car and just drive.

Well, she doesn't. And as the movie finds vague reasons to keep the kids ping-ponging between nowhere-towns Pertwilla and Poho, all credibility leaks out. It doesn't help that director Salva keeps the pace pretentiously slow, making his short movie seem much longer. But the biggest problem is that when he reveals the monster and his methodology, it just doesn't make much sense. It doesn't resonate. There's no internal logic at work.

OK, so this thingy wakes up every 23rd spring and for 23 days eats people. Or parts of people. Why? Who knows. Where's he come from? Don't ask me. How come he has wings? I dunno, I guess they had enough budget for the so-so wing effects. Plus, it's easier to blame the wings for the Creeper's ability to travel fast, and the script is too tepid to come up with a more rational explanation.

Oh, another thing: Who gave a nasty, big-toothed monster with wings a driver's license? And does he really need a truck when he can fly? And why does Oscar nominee Eileen Brennan turn up living alone with about 574 cats?

Let's not even talk about that hefty lady psychic, who shows up in the third act to tell her clairvoyant dreams to Trish and Darry. She wastes their time, and ours.

I will give “Jeepers Creepers” credit for daring to be a not-so-feel-good flick. In the hands of a bigger studio, the movie would end with Trish or Darry shoving a shotgun muzzle down the Creeper's throat and quipping, “Eat this!” We should be thankful for small favors, I guess.

When Salva's movie “Powder” came out, about a fragile teenage boy with extraterrestrial powers, the writer-director caught heat when word leaked that he's a convicted child molester. Something to do with videotaping a 12-year-old boy. It's hard to forget that information while watching “Jeepers Creepers.” Especially when the Creeper breaks into Trish and Darry's car . . . and spends some quality time sniffing Darry's dirty underwear.

That's scary in a way Salva probably didn't intend.

— Steve Murray, Cox News Service