'Taxi'

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By Jay Boyar
The Orlando Sentinel

Posted: October 8, 2004

"Saturday Night Live's" "Weekend Update" just wasn't the same last week without Jimmy Fallon's loose-limbed antics.

Seeing him with Queen Latifah in "Taxi" — the lame action-comedy that opens Friday — is a poor substitute.

Fallon plays Washburn, a Gotham cop who's also a lousy driver. After smashing up more than his allotment of cars, he loses his drivers license.

That's where Latifah, as a cabbie named Belle, comes in. Belle's a great driver with a souped-up taxi and a dream of competing in NASCAR. After Washburn persuades her to drive him around, the two of them take on the city's latest menace.

That would be a merciless gang of Brazilian bank robbers who look like supermodels. I don't see any way to explain this.

"Taxi" is based on a 1998 French film, as if some people needed another reason to be ticked off at the French. The domestic remake is clumsily directed by Tim Story, who also made the much-preferable "Barbershop."

It's often said that there's never a taxi around when you need one. But taxis like this one you'll never need.

This "Taxi" moves in fits and starts, and it's often headed in the wrong direction. There are tiresome car chases, an overcomplicated narrative and tedious banter between Latifah and Fallon.

Both of them seem to be working very hard to convince us that they're having a good time. Occasionally, Latifah almost succeeds. But in the end you have to ask yourself:

Has there ever been less chemistry between the stars of a "buddy" movie?

Rounding out the cast are hunky Henry Simmons ("NYPD Blue") as Belle's construction-worker boyfriend, Jennifer Esposito ("Don't Say a Word") as Washburn's ex-girlfriend and current boss and Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen as the head bank robber.

The movie's only real laughs are provided by Ann-Margret who, as Washburn's tipsy mom, turns out to be a funny drunk.

Clearly, she's feeling no pain — and I wish I could say the same.