It was too wet to play.

So we went to a movie

That cold, cold, wet day.

The Cat in the Hat

Was the name of the flick.

And while we were watching

We thought we'd be sick.

No, sadly, "Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat" is not what you'd call a movie classic, even though the book on which it's based is a classic of kiddie lit.

The movie is so disappointing, in fact, that it makes "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas" look like a masterpiece. And that really is saying a lot.

Where the "Grinch" film of 2000 at least made some attempt to capture that special Seussian magic, "Cat" is a different animal. It uses the characters and basic situation from the book, but it lacks the book's half-mad comic style.

The only even remotely stylish thing about the film is its look, and that is hardly original. "Cat's" storybook-cum-theme-park visuals seem like outtakes from "Grinch." And when you consider that the new film's director, Bo Welch, is a production designer making his directorial debut, everything starts to make sense.

It may be a measure of Welch's desperation that he's added goofy cartoon music as a background for many dialogue scenes. Did he think that, without it, we wouldn't realize that the film is supposed to be funny?

Mike Myers, who plays the Cat, is physically wrong for the role. In the book, the Cat is drawn tall and lean, with a beatnik scruffiness. He's an anarchic outsider whose wild antics seem almost to have a political subtext.

There's a method in his crazy-cat madness.

Myers' Cat is a well-groomed fat cat with no such agenda. He's just a silly-dilly.

That said, Myers' performance is the only reason to see the movie.

Under his signature red-and-white-striped hat, he's weirdly convincing. His energy level is so high that he's like a plush toy come to life.

Myers plays the Cat as if he were the fearless cousin of the Cowardly Lion from "The Wizard of Oz." There's something of the urban prowler in his voice, and his gestures have the Lion's feline fussiness.

The resourceful comedian mixes in other elements, too.

This Cat has multiple personalities, so there's also a British Cat, a hippie Cat and a sort of Martha Stewart Cat, more than one of whom might simultaneously be present. And when the Cat suddenly goes Carmen Miranda, you can't help but think Bugs Bunny.

Like Seuss' book, the film tells the tale of a couple of kids, Sally and Conrad, who are left home alone for the day. (There's a baby sitter in the movie, but she's usually unconscious.) Into their lives comes the Cat and his weird little helpers, Thing 1 and Thing 2.

The movie invents a boyfriend for the kids' single mom, a phony who keeps threatening Conrad with military school.

As that boyfriend, Alec Baldwin is a good sport, thrusting out a big belly and taking out false teeth in a scene that's designed to show that everything about this guy is phony.

Kelly Preston is Mom, while Dakota Fanning ("Uptown Girls") and Spencer Breslin (Disney's "The Kid") are the kids. Providing the voice of the story's goldfish conscience is Sean Hayes, the sprite from "Will & Grace," who is also cast as Mom's demanding boss.

No, that boss isn't in the book, either. But Seuss' original story is so slim that the filmmakers probably had to come up with something to pad it out.

Something, but not necessarily this. As the Cat in the Hat in the book advises:

It is fun to have fun

But you have to know how.