Yet another attempt to cash in on Dr. Seuss' verse, it's like "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," except much, much worse.

Producer Brian Grazer's second live-action adaptation of a beloved children's book by the late Theodor S. Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss, follows the same formula as 2000's "Grinch." That film found Jim Carrey in the title role, mugging under heavy latex and fur. Here, Mike Myers does the same, as a 6-foot talking cat in a candy-striped top hat.

Both productions faced the challenge of expanding a simple, rhyming narrative to a feature-length film. For "The Cat in the Hat," originally published in 1957, Seuss used only 220 words. The movie version runs nearly 90 minutes, which means that more padding was required than just that in Myers' plush costume.

Grazer once again turned to the writing team responsible for the "Grinch," which made a ton of green but didn't leave many folks clasping hands in a circle to sing its praises. To direct the film, he tapped Bo Welch, a first-timer who earned Oscar nods as the production designer for such films as "Men in Black," "The Birdcage" and "Beetlejuice."

"Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat" looks terrific, capturing the colorful, inventive visual style of Seuss' cartoon illustrations. But as with its big-screen predecessor, the author's delightful fantasy of chaos is bastardized by loud and often crass humor, much of which is inappropriate for the film's young target audience.

Myers' Cat, who speaks with a slight New York City accent and laughs like Bert Lahr's Cowardly Lion, doesn't appear for the first 20 minutes, when the film finally picks up Seuss' rhythmic text.

Before then, we're introduced to Sally (Dakota Fanning) and Conrad (Spencer Breslin) Walden, whose single mom, Joan (Kelly Preston), is preparing throw a very important party for her real estate clients. She has forbidden the tightly wound Sally and rule-breaking Conrad from doing anything that might mess up the house.

We also meet Lawrence Quinn (Alec Baldwin), the smarmy bachelor next door, who plans to marry Joan and ship Conrad off to military school.

As in Seuss' best-selling classic, Sally and Conrad are alone — albeit with a sleeping baby-sitter — on a boring, rainy afternoon when the Cat crashes into their lives, promising "lots of good fun that is funny." What follows is a barrage of surreal gags involving an endless array of costumes and props, in which the Walden's house is systematically trashed.

The best bits are straight from Seuss, including a computer-animated pet fish (voiced by Sean Hayes) who warns the children of impending disaster, and the lively antics of Thing 1 and Thing 2.

But clearly, the notion was to just let Myers cut loose with his usual madcap shtick and the comedy would write itself. Instead, the film plays like "Pee-wee's Playhouse," without the laughs.

Much of the humor is remarkably risque for a PG-rated family film. The Cat ogles a centerfoldlike portrait of Mrs. Walden, calls a soiled garden implement a "dirty hoe" and refers to a fantastical car whose acronym is a four-letter word. There's also a cameo appearance by sudden Internet sex-tape star Paris Hilton.

Product placement includes Lite beer and a plug for Universal Studios' theme parks.

"Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat" is neither "good fun" nor that funny. Instead, it's a ploy for taking your money.

But if you think the film is still worth a look, heed the words of my young companion: "They ruined the book."