This Eater LA headline may have caught your eye today: “Attention Texans: You Can Now Get Real Handmade Kolaches in Los Angeles.” Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. These food items do appear to be handmade, and yes, they’re real in the sense that they are food that you can eat. And they actually look pretty tasty. But they’re not kolaches.
Gather ‘round, boys and girls, as I tell you a tale of Czech settlers: Back in the early 1800s, Czech immigrants settled in the Texas Czech Belt and brought with them delicious pastries made with sweet yeast dough and filled with fruit or cheese.
Yeah, fruit or cheese—not meat. I wrote back in December that kolaches can be filled with a myriad of delicious foods: Cream cheese, blueberries, pineapples, nuts, cottage cheese, cherries, poppy seeds, plums, prunes ... not meat. But check out what’s inside these “Czech-Texas style kolaches” from the LA bakery, Morning Boys:
Yeah. I gave Morning Boys the benefit of the doubt when I first saw their Instagram page—maybe they only had photos of the meat-filled kolaches on their page—but their website only lists meat-filled pastries. Which, again, look delicious and there’s not a single one I wouldn’t eat. But these aren’t kolaches.
As I explained back in December, these meat-filled pastries are actually called klobasniky. They’re just as Czech as kolaches—they were invented by Czech families settled in Texas. They’re equally delicious, savory and fluffy and sometimes cheese-filled. But they’re just not kolaches.
I’ll give Morning Boys some credit, though: They’re originally from Palacios, Texas, and they at least use Texas sausages in the recipes. But let’s call a spade a spade, a kolache a kolache and a klobasnek a klobasnek.
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