So “The Emoji Movie,” an animated feature film starring the voice talent of T.J. Miller, James Corden, Anna Farris, Maya Rudolph and others of presumably sound mind, opens today.
And it is getting SLAUGHTERED.
It is currently holding a legit stunning 0 percent over at reviews aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.
Yes, zero. Zilch, nada, zip.
“A big (expletive) doughnut hole,” as Jimmy (William O’Leary) says in “Bull Durham”
From the great Glenn Kenny at the New York Times: “This movie's "believe in yourself" message is borne out, in a perverse way, by the very fact that it even exists. And yet the whole thing remains nakedly idiotic.”
From former American-Statesman contributor John DeFore at the Hollywood Reporter: “If only this smartphone-centric dud, so happy to hawk real-world apps to its audience, could have done the same in its release strategy — coming out via Snapchat, where it would vanish shortly after arrival.”
From Roger Ebert.com: “artistic abdication at its most venal”
From the New York Post, being very New York Post: “Hear that? It's the end of the world.”
What makes this all especially enjoyable is the way in which T.J. Miller, the lead emoji, managed to annoy every comedy fan (or reasonable person) on in the planet with this interview with New York Magazine, in which he asserted women weren’t as funny as men and then was a jerk to the guy interviewing him.
He tried to clarify all this, but I have yet to meet anyone who buys it. (Also, his HBO stand-up special is almost weirdly unfunny.)
In truth, nobody has any idea how “The Emoji Movie” will do. There isn’t anything else opening for little kids and we’ll check in with its numbers on Monday.