This updated Oregon Trail game has craft beer and yoga instructors

11:15 a.m. Tuesday, Oct. 31, 2017 Drinks
Players of the Travel Oregon: The Game can choose to explore regions of Oregon like the Willamette Valley.

Don’t worry: You can still die in a new version of the beloved but brutal Oregon Trail game. But instead of falling prey to a snakebite or coming down with cholera — or failing to safely ford a river, like I always did — you can die of more modern troubles. Like a food coma. Or too much kombucha.

That’s the cheeky premise behind the Travel Oregon: The Game that Travel Oregon has released for people to play through Dec. 31, anyway. The Willamette Week publication recently played the game to discover all the myriad and wonderful updates that Travel Oregon made to reflect the way Oregonians currently live.

“Travel Oregon's game uses the MS-DOS aesthetic of the original game, but the journey is modern. Instead of being a banker, you can be a fly-fishing guide, yoga instructor, winemaker, surfer (ugh), ski pro or apple farmer,” according to the publication. “We started playing, and also learned that you start with $1,200 and can purchase artisanal coffee, snow chains and craft beer.”

And you can actually visit a brewery, too, and pick pints from choices like Deschutes Abyss Russian Imperial Stout or Cascade Rose City Sour. 

Among the trials and tribulations of a modern version of the Oregon Trail? Being mistaken for a wine sommelier.

Which got us thinking. What would an Austin Trail look like? There are an unlimited number of pop culture comparisons between the equally quirky Austin and Portland, so yeah, we’re a lot alike. We’d probably drink too much kombucha, too. But we’ve got enough of our own #firstworldproblems weirdness that the games would likely have distinct differences. 

Here’s what an Austin Trail game might include.

Oh, and by the way. The original version of the Oregon Trail game, the one that introduced many a kid to the computer in the 1980s and ‘90s? We can still play the old-school MS-DOS version online