On Astros bandwagon? You’re not done shopping until things get intimate ...

8:45 p.m Wednesday, Oct. 25, 2017 Austin360 Home
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Yes, Astros jerseys and hats are ubiquitous among Houston fans, but does your love go deeper than that?

Did you jump on the Astros bandwagon as Game 7 of the American League Championship Series was winding down? Beating those hated New York Yankees — man, you’ve hated those guys for, like, forever* — and going to the World Series was just the spur you needed to care about baseball.

Yeah, me too.

And like any good American, I can only express my love through buying things I don’t need on eBay. (You and my wife and my therapist do not need to know how many Willie Nelson posters I have.**)

Fortunately, Texas Monthly is ahead of the curve ball, already posting their excellent list of “Some of the Weird Astros Stuff You Can Buy on the Internet Right Now.”

This is some good stuff. My favorite is this elegantly embroidered Astros mini-pennant.

Possibly classier than it looks from here, this Astros thong underwear can be yours on eBay for less than $10.

Wait …

Hold on.

That’s supposed to be underwear?

Where’s the rest of it?

No … no, no, no. Forget I asked.

Seriously, though, this Houston Astros lingerie thong underwear is on eBay right now for $9.99. They’ve sold two of them already. 

The eBay listing points out, honestly, that “This item is not a licensed item but is handcrafted from licensed fabric*** and is intended for personal use.”

From where I’m standing, it’s hard to to imagine an item that could used any more personally.

But that’s just one item. There’s a half-dozen more options on Texas Monthly’s list

Or you can hunt for your own. Like these not-creepy-at-all Roger Clemens Christmas ornaments.

* Or for the duration of the series. Or Game 7. Or retroactively. The important part is we beat ‘em!

** Just kidding. I’ve spent too much on posters to be able to afford a therapist.

*** Imagining a conversation: “We can’t sell these kids’ T-shirts, but hold on, I’ve got an idea …”

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