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Happy Mother’s Day to TV’s troubled moms

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, our thoughts turn to TV moms, right?

OK, maybe not. Maybe our thoughts turn to the flowers we forgot to send or the dinner we meant to plan but didn’t.

So maybe it’s only my mind that turns to TV moms of today — none of whom remotely resembles June Cleaver on “Leave It To Beaver” or Marion Cunningham on “Happy Days.”

No, today we have the polygamist moms on “Big Love” and the mom on “Reaper” who sold her son’s soul to the Devil the day he was born.

Marge Simpson might be the closest mom we have to the old-fashioned traditional matriarchs. She bakes cookies, takes care of her kids and lump-headed husband Homer and she wears those eternal pop-bead necklaces.

Peg Hill, with her secret size 12 shoes, is a fairly traditional homemaker, too, on “King of the Hill.”

So maybe the only traditional moms on TV these days are cartoon characters. What does that say about motherhood on the tube? That the only route to a good mom on TV is fantasy and animation?

Felicity Huffman’s Lynette Scavo on “Desperate Housewives” certainly does her best with her gazillion kids, including the always troublesome twins. She’s fought cancer and the wacky business dealings of her husband while keeping her family together. We’ll give her an honorable mention.

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Probably one of the more realistic moms on TV today is Dr. Bailey on “Grey’s Anatomy.” This hard-working mom recently became a single mom when her husband left her. The good doc clearly loves her little boy, but she’s juggling all manner of complications vying for her time at Seattle Grace Hospital.

Allison Dubois on “Medium” sees creepy dead people (especially murder victims) all the time, so she’s a bit distracted from domestic duties as mom to three daughters.

And then there’s Nora Walker on “Brothers & Sisters,” a semi-neurotic character with five grown children, none of whom apparently has been able to cut the umbilical cord. One twentysomething son still lives at home, and the rest of the adult kids drift in and out of the house as if they’re all still in high school.

Isn’t the mark of successful parenting to have kids who become independent?

It’s a pretty sad lot, but we wish them Happy Mother’s Day anyway.

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Scrubs is one of the best shows that nobody watchs. I find very few people who will admit to liking it, but since it's on several times a day (just on basic cable!), *somebody* must be watching.

I think Scrubs suffered from a similar problem as

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Is anyone else reminded of Tiny Tim by Jason's looks and demeanor? After comparing them in my mind for weeks now, YouTube videos of Tiny Tim solidified my theory, left my kids in stitches and not able to watch the second of Jason's performances with a

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‘Scrubs’ ends NBC run tonight, heads for ABC

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“Scrubs” wraps up seven seasons on NBC tonight at 7:30, but this finale probably isn’t a real finale.

The worst kept secret in Hollywood is that “Scrubs” is heading for ABC in the fall. The official announcement will come Tuesday, when ABC unveils its “upfront” presentations to potential advertisers.

In the NBC swan song tonight, Dr. Cox recalls his first day at the hospital in a highly whimsical fair tale told to his young son. Fantasy seems an appropriate end to the rather tortured life “Scrubs” has had on NBC.

Moved around the schedule so often that TV Guide seemed to give up trying to list it, “Scrubs” nevertheless has a devoted audience of folks who love slapstick, whimsy and sophomoric/sophisticated humor. Shakespeare and flatulence shared the stage.

Is it the best sitcom ever? No, but it’s one of those shows — like the late “Will & Grace” — that always prompts hearty chuckles. If you could remember when, where or even if it was on, you knew you could bank a bit of silly fun.

Fast-paced and dripping with double entendres and pop culture references, “Scrubs” is a simple pleasure that’s easy to digest. If ABC puts it on the fall schedule and leaves it there for a while, it should have a season or two of life left.

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ABC News opening ‘digital bureau’ at UT

University of Texas journalism students could wind up on ABC’s “Good Morning America,” “World News” and “Nightline” in the fall when ABC News opens a “digital bureau” here as part of an new initiative called ABC News on Campus.

Only five universities around the country have been invited to participate. Besides UT-Austin, the program includes Arizona State University, Syracuse University, the University of Florida and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

The UT bureau will open in September under the supervision of broadcast journalism lecturer Kate Dawson, a 14-year TV news veteran who spent her career at Fox News Channel, WCBS in New York and ABC News Radio. She joined the UT faculty in 2006.

“ABC was really impressed with UT’s credentials and considered this a great journalism school,” Dawson said.

The ABC News-campus partnership will create a multimedia bureau at UT that will include new video and computer equipment, paid internships for student staffers and a paid position for Dawson as the faculty adviser. The first student bureau chief is Sara Loeffelholz, a senior from Aledo. The other bureau staff members have not yet been chosen.

“These college bureaus will extend the newsgathering reach of ABC News throughout the country,” said ABC News president David Westin in a statement. “In addition, they will enable us to nurture bright young journalism students, giving them hands-on training from some of the most seasoned news professionals in the business and the opportunity to see their work appear on ABC News platforms.”

No doubt ABC also sees the campus initiative as a way to lure some of the country’s 33 million 18- to 25-year-old viewers into watching TV news. Younger viewers have abandoned nightly newscasts since the arrival of online and cable news.

The UT bureau will receive training and on-site mentoring for the student bureau chief and faculty liaison at ABC News headquarters in New York twice a year.

Every day, year-round, students will pitch stories to the ABC news producers. If one is accepted, the bureau will engage its multimedia operation. A print journalism student might write the script, a broadcast journalism student might do the standup and several students would be in charge of shooting and editing, with online additions available, too.

“This is an amazing opportunity,” Dawson said. “We’ll learn from each other and have access to resources at the other college campuses… . ABC News is interested in a variety of issues, from campus security to features on college trends. They want the college student’s points of view, which is something you don’t see very often on network news.”

In the fall, the UT group also will help out with ABC affiliate KVUE’s general election coverage.

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‘Sex’ ends on Mother’s Day, Jason (please) off ‘Idol’ tonight

“Talk Sex” ends on Mother’s Day! Is there deeper meaning in the timing? We hope not.

Oxygen’s “Talk Sex” (11 p.m. Sundays), the sometimes shockingly frank call-in show hosted by 77-year-old Sue Johanson, bids farewell on Mother’s Day.

After six seasons on American cable TV (and 32 years altogether on the air), Johanson, a spritely Canadian nurse with a penchant for doling out sex advice, has decided to call it quits.

Oxygen insists it did not cancel the show, which is the network’s most popular late-night series.

“I’m going to miss playing with sex toys,” Johanson told the Associated Press.

Sunday night’s finale, appropriately, will feature the hostess-with-the-mostess counting down the year’s Top 10 Sex Toys.

Slacker Castro out tonight? Please?

Have “American Idol” voters finally come to their senses?

Let’s hope so, because if Jason Castro doesn’t get axed tonight, I’m gonna throw stuff at my TV.

We know the blue-eyed, dreadlocked Texan (and Aggie!!) has a following. No doubt. We just don’t know why.

Some might call his demeanor dreamy; I call it stoned. He drifts around the stage, batting his eyelashes, looking shy and totally out to lunch. A few weeks ago the cameras caught him yawning and practically nodding off as he waited to perform.

Last night, as if the slacker persona weren’t bad enough, Jason forgot the lyrics to his second song, Bob Dylan’s iconic “Mr. Tambourine Man.” If you’re going to mess up a Dylan song, mess up the tune, not the words. Dylan songs are all about the words.

At this point, I don’t really care who wins out of the remaining trio.

David Cook seems the most likely, but Syesha Mercado was brilliant last night. OK, I admit it. I actually cried during her performance of Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come.” Huggable boy-toy David Archuleta, a long-time favorite of the judges and screaming tweens, is a 17-year-old wunderkind with terrific talent — but missing some heat due to his boyish adorableness.

Just PLEASE get rid of Jason Castro. He didn’t belong in the Top 10, and he certainly doesn’t belong in the final.

Results are tonight at 8 on Fox.

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Pop divas seek rehab on TV

Prime-time TV is becoming Rehab Central for Hollywood’s bad girls. Check it out:

First Britney Spears graced us with a guest starring role on the CBS sitcom “How I Met Your Mother.” Now Lindsay Lohan is heading for the May 22 season finale of ABC’s hit “Ugly Betty.”

Of course there’s a big difference between the two young women, both of whom have done stints in rehab and made multiple court appearances for various offenses.

Lindsay is an actor who can actually act, whereas Britney is a singer who (a) can barely sing and (b) has absolutely no acting chops. Go figure.

Still, both tabloid celebutantes draw viewers … perhaps folks longing to see yet another trainwreck. Whatever.

TV series apparently are fertile ground for reviving a scandal-plagued career. Britney will return for another spot on “Mother” before season’s end, and Lindsay will return to “Betty” in the fall for five more episodes.

NBC axes “Monk” and “Psych”

NBC programming wizards clearly don’t have a clue.

Apparently the Peacock poobahs thought viewers would crowd around USA hits “Monk” and “Psych” — even though the episodes on NBC were repeats of episodes originally seen on cable.

Note to NBC: We’ve seen these shows, years ago. We watch cable. All the time. We don’t want to see repeats of them on NBC.

Effective Sunday, NBC will replace the USA shows with four reruns of “The Office.” Talk about creative bankruptcy …

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Jesse Plemons guest stars in summer horror series

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Jesse Plemons, the real Texan who plays the decidedly real Landry on “Friday Night Lights,” hasn’t just been sitting around waiting for the Dillon Panthers to call him to practice.

Nope, Plemons has been filming an episode of NBC’s horror anthology series “Fear Itself,” which is scheduled to premiere Thursday, June 5.

Plemons will appear in an episode called “The Sacrifice,” in which four fugitive criminals hide out in an abandoned fort that turns out to be a tad haunted.

I’m sure Plemons is terrific in the role, but wouldn’t you love to see this guy in a comedy? He’s had enough horror and sorrow on “FNL.” Plus, Plemons has a sly way with funny dialogue … maybe someday.

What are you thinking, Baba?

I’m still scratching my head over Barbara Walters’ revelation that she had an affair with a married politician in the 1970s.

In case you missed it, Walters confessed in her new memoir “Audition,” and tomorrow she spills even more beans in an interview with Oprah Winfrey (4 p.m. Tuesday on KVUE) about her fling with U.S. Sen. Edward Brooke of Massachusetts when she was co-hosting NBC’s “Today.”

Why would Walters, an icon in TV news and a hero to gazillions of working women, write about this? It’s a puzzler. Walter, 78 and pulling in millions of dollars as an ABC contributor and host of the daytime talker “The View,” doesn’t need the hype.

And Former Senator Brooke, now 88, probably doesn’t need the humiliation. The Republican (and first African-American elected to the U.S. Senate) was married at the time of the alleged affair, and he steadfastly refuse to comment on Walters’ claims.

In a transcript of Walters’ appearance on “Oprah” tomorrow, Walters says she was “infatuated” with Brooke but does not say she was in love with him. The devil’s in the details, no?

Can’t we all just keep our dirty laundry hidden? This revelation can only dim Walters’ shining career and cause embarrassment to a retired (and re-married) politician.

If Walters is this desperate for attention, she could have re-hired Rosie O’Donnell on “The View.”

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This week’s TV highlights

Hundreds of channels, hours and hours of programming. So much to watch, so little time. Here are some highlights to get you started on your week of viewing.

Sunday

“Cranford,” 8 p.m. on PBS — The latest entry from “Masterpiece Theater” springs from the writings of Elizabeth Gaskell. Set in 1842, the three-part film (continues May 11 and May 18) chronicles life in a rural English town that’s teetering on the brink of major change. Oscar winner Judi Dench stars, along with Eileen Atkins and Imelda Staunton.

“Cold Case,” 7 p.m. on CBS — This superbly filmed but often overlooked crime drama airs its season finale tonight. Ending early without an early renewal commitment doesn’t bode well for the show’s future.

Monday

“Dancing with the Stars,” 7 p.m. on ABC — Will Latino hunk Cristian de la Fuente survive two dances? Or even one? Last week, you may recall, he popped a tendon in his bulging bicep. Fans voted him back anyway. We’ll see if he can do it.

“Independent Lens,” 10 p.m. on PBS — In honor of Cinco de Mayo, the series profiles the Mariachi Reyna de Los Angeles, the first all-female mariachi band. Bravo!

Tuesday

Democratic Primary Results, 6 p.m. on CNN, Fox News and MSNBC — Once again the broadcast networks are ceding election coverage to cable news. And once again tonight’s primaries in North Carolina and Indiana could be decisive.

Wednesday

“American Masters,” 8 p.m. on PBS — A splendid bio-pic of legendary singer Marvin Gaye. Shot to death by his own father in 1984, Gaye’s music contributions may be well-known, but his battles with family violence, depression and drug addiction may not be. This is the full picture of a genius.

“Audition: Barbara Walters’ Journey,” 9 p.m. on ABC — The hour gallops through Walters’ long-running career, with side trips into her mostly private personal life. ABC anchor Charles Gibson hosts.

Thursday

“Beijing Olympic Stadium,” 8 p.m. on National Geographic Channel — Nicknamed the “Birds Nest,” this incredibly ambitious design comes from 42,000 pounds of steel and hundreds of tons of concrete. It’s the main venue for the Summer Olympics, which begin Aug. 8.

Friday

“True Hollywood Story Investigates: Cheerleading,” 7 p.m. on E! — Into every couch potato’s life a little cheese must fall. A two-hour doc on cheerleading culture, replete with back-stabbing and nail-biting, should fill the bill.

Saturday

“Braveheart,” 8:30 p.m. on HBO — If you can’t remember why Mel Gibson was once a major movie star, check out this spectacular historical saga about the crusading Scottish rebel William Wallace. Not only does Gibson star, he won the directing and best picture Oscars.

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Derby thunders onto NBC on Saturday

For no particular reason, I’m feeling sporty today, so this blog will trot in sync with my mood.

The Kentucky Derby promises to gobble up most of NBC’s afternoon schedule on Saturday. It’s not quite as excessive as the Super Bowl, but the 134th running of the million-dollar horses will start early and go late.

Post time (when the race is expected to begin) is 5:04 p.m. Central Time, but NBC is starting at 3 p.m. with a red-carpet segment, “Access at the Kentucky Derby,” hosted by Billy Bush of “Access Hollywood.” Look for a lot of rich people in big hats, as opposed to stars in skimpy clothes.

After the faux celebrity march, NBC will have its pre-race show at 4 p.m., highlighting the competing horses, their jockeys, their trainers and their owners.

For those of us who are not hard-core horsey types, this provides mandatory background so you can choose a thoroughbred to cheer for.

FYI: Among the unusually crowded field this year, Big Brown is favored, with Colonel John also considered worthy. With two-days’ worth of rain expected at Churchill Downs, look for a muddy, sloppy race.

Even if you’re not hosting or attending a Derby party, don’t forget to whip up some mint juleps. Basic recipe provided here. (Put enough mint and sugar in and you can barely taste the bourbon.)

Moving on to the Beijing Summer Olympics, NBC today announced it will have live Web coverage of 25 sports that otherwise wouldn’t be seen in TV coverage.

And the network will archive 2,200 hours of video from every day and every competition during the games, which begin Aug. 8.

Since August is by far the steamiest, scorching-ist month of the year in Austin, I’m guessing the Beijing Games will be a big draw here.

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Another strike?

Producers and actors are NOT getting along … and that’s a nasty foreboding for all of us.

You might recall that the Screen Actors Guild initiated early contract negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers two weeks ago. Yesterday, the big-wigs representing the major studios and networks turned down the actors’ demands for what was dubbed “huge increases in compensation and benefits”sought by SAG.

In a statement posted on its Web site, the producers’ group said after 13 days of talks, the two sides remained miles apart. The producers said the actors’ guild’s demand for doubling fees for DVD sales, along with other increases for new media distribution, was unacceptable.

At least the warring groups have not given up — yet. They are scheduled to reconvene today for another attempt before breaking for the weekend.

SAG is shooting for a bigger piece of the pie than the Writers Guild of America received after its three-month strike. Even though the actors’ contract doesn’t expire until June 30, the iffy situation already has caused delays because studios are concerned that a strike could paralyze the industry — again.

SAG’s smaller sister union, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, is scheduled to begin separate talks with the producers on Monday.

Can’t these folks please settle this mess before they permanently injure the business? Pretty please?

Guests we welcome with open arms

Christian Siriano, the dramatic and wildly talented little sprite who won this season’s “Project Runway,” prances onto “Ugly Betty” tonight (at 7 p.m. on ABC). Unlike most nonactor guest stars, he’s perfect for “Betty.” Very funny and totally over the top. Love him.

Also, Kate Walsh returns to “Grey’s Anatomy” tonight (9 p.m. on ABC), resurrecting her sexy Dr. Addison Montgomery character. Fans of her spinoff, “Private Practice,” need not worry — ABC has renewed the spinoff for a new season, beginning in the fall.

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‘Boston Legal’ moves, ‘Idol’ and ‘Dancing’ get weird

As Denny and Alan mentioned in last Tuesday’s “Boston Legal,” the ABC show is moving to Wednesdays, effective tonight at 9 p.m.

Creator David E. Kelley loves to pop little insider, behind-the-fourth wall quips into his scripts.

In a show last season the story line focused on other characters in the law firm, with the two main guys seen in separate scenes. When they met up for their customary Scotch-and-cigars conclusion, Denny piped up, “Alan, where have you been? I haven’t seen you all episode.”

Love those little winks from Kelley. Anyway, to the point, “Boston Legal,” which alternately produces tears and guffaws, has been evicted from its regular time slot, which isn’t the best thing that could have happened.

The show’s ratings in this strike-crippled season have been less that swell, and the series is now one of the “on-the-bubble” shows that might not make the cut when ABC announces its fall schedule on May 13.

If you’re a fan, don’t forget to catch “Boston Legal” in its new berth tonight.

‘Twas a weird night for reality competitions

“American Idol” trotted out as if it were on fast-forward last night, squeezing in two performances from each of the remaining contestants.

Neil Diamond’s songs got butchered more than once, and Paula Abdul once again fell victim to her own, uh, confusion. Poor thing.

As always, check out my colleague Gary Dinges’ Idol Chatter blog for the whole story, but I just had to weigh in briefly, too.

Jason Castro, he of the dreamy blue eyes white-boy dreads, once again appeared to be in an alternate universe. Maybe that’s why after the first of his two performances, Paula thought she’d heard two songs and proceeded to offer her judging comments.

Dead silence, scattered laughter, total shock among the contestants. Eventually Randy Jackson informed her that Jason had only sung one song. Who knows what poor Paula was thinking.

Jason obviously has a strong fan base, but he’s got to go. Seriously. Elimination is tonight at 8 p.m. on Fox.

Meanwhile, “Dancing with the Stars” wasted a spot in its competition when the injured Cristian de la Fuente received enough votes to keep him in, while Shannon Elizabeth got the boot.

After rupturing a tendon in his bicep Monday night Cristian is NOT going to make it beyond another week, especially since the dancers are now allowed to do lifts. Is he going to twirl around, catch his partner and do all those athletic moves with one arm in a brace? Maybe … but not for long. And I wouldn’t want to be his partner, Cheryl Burke.

Cristian should have bowed out and let Shannon stay. It would have been the fair and gentlemanly thing to do.

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Another ‘Dancing’ dancer crumples

Another dance, another crumpled dancer.

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“Dancing with the Stars” is proving that dance is more contact sport than performance artistry. In case you missed last night’s competition, Chilean TV star Cristian de la Fuente pulled a muscle in his bulging arm during a samba with pro partner Cheryl Burke.

It was obvious something was wrong when de la Fuente’s swiveling hips stopped swiveling — and, finally, when he dropped Burke on the floor in a big, feathery poof.

Host Tom Bergeron wasn’t quite sure what to do, so he went to commercial as the super-hunky (can teeth actually be that white?) Chilean grimaced and gripped his arm. After the break, the wounded bird, with an ice pack strapped to his arm, received his not-so-good scores: three sevens. Bummer. And possibly unfair.

We werer told that EMS had swooped in during the ad and diagnosed de la Fuente’s injury as a “severe muscle cramp,” but today more people are saying it’s a pulled muscle, which is different and worse. We’ll find out in tonight’s results show (8 p.m. on ABC) whether the actor will be able to twirl farther in the competition.

Last season Marie Osmond fainted and plopped to the floor. This year, pro dancer Derek Hough injured his neck during rehearsal and then later came down with food poisoning.

It’s surprising there aren’t more injuries on the live telecasts. The dances (Latin, ballroom, whatever) are difficult and highly athletic to begin with, and to show off on TV, the pros always load ‘em up with even more daring moves. Presumably the threat of bodily harm simplys adds to the drama.

Entertainment Weekly’s super-snarky take on the current “Dancing” season claims this is the worst of the show’s six seasons. I beg to differ. I think the celebrity contestants, especially bubbly Marissa Jaret Winokur, are an especially entertaining group — folks you really want to root for in the competition.

And, really, isn’t Cockney-accented judge Len Goodman a major hoot? Half the time you can’t figure out exactly what he’s saying, but it’s fun trying.

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KVUE News going HD soon!

Christine Haas and Tyler Sieswerda are about to get new makeup and a spiffy new look to their anchor perch on KVUE’s local newscasts.

Why? The Belo-owned station is switching its newscasts to HD. We’ve noticed for several weeks that the anchors aren’t in their usual set, and the lighting looks a bit harsh sometimes. Turns out that’s because KVUE is building a new deck for their old set to accommodate the transition.

We found this out, by the way, not from the station but from an article in Broadcast Engineering.

This morning we called for confirmation from KVUE’s long-time chief engineer Mike Wenglar. The specific date for the HD debut has not been released, but late May or early June look probable.

Look for a big promotional extravaganza closer to the premiere, when news, weather, sports and field reports all will be telecast in HD.

KEYE’s newscasts, you might remember, went HD last November — just in time for the important sweeps period. Ron Oliveira and Judy Maggio sailed through their ready-for-their-closeup makeovers.

KXAN and KTBC both have HD-ready news sets but no launch time for the high-def switch. Presumably, however, all local Austin news will be in HD by the end of this year.

J.Lo and the twins on reality TV

TLC has landed a deal with Jennifer Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony for a reality series that will focus on the glam life of J.Lo and the more down-and-dirty job of taking care of twins Emme and Max, born Feb. 22.

The series will be produced by Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, another celebrity couple. No air date has been set — and no title either.

Suggestions? “Hot Mama?” “J.Lo & The Babes?”

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This week’s TV highlights

Hundreds of channels, hours and hours of programming. So much to watch, so little time. Here are some highlights to get you started on your TV viewing week.

Sunday

“Carrier,” 8 p.m. on KLRU — A total immersion in the high- stakes world of a nuclear aircraft carrier. The documentary (which continues Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 8 p.m.) tracks sailors and officers aboard the USS Nimitz as they navigate their private lives and the war on terror.

Monday

“House,” 8 p.m. on Fox — Back with new episodes, the grumpy doc suspects there’s something wrong with an emergency room patient who seems way too happy. Only Dr. House would diagnose a sunny disposition as an illness.

“The Paper,” 9:30 p.m. on MTV — If you haven’t discovered this little gem, check it out. When was the last time you saw a reality show about teens who are smart, ambitious and passionate about journalism? Never, right? Here’s your chance.

Tuesday

“Women’s Murder Club,” 9 p.m. on ABC — Angie Harmon’s freshman crime drama takes another shot at finding an audience. Based on James Patterson’s crime novels, this series, set in San Francisco, seemed promising in its fall debut but fell victim to bad scheduling and the writers’ strike. It’s worth checking.

“Law & Order: SVU,” 9 p.m. on NBC — Robin Williams guest stars in the show’s 200th episode. Not surprisingly, he plays a creepy guy who gets even creepier after he’s arrested and put on trial for a creepy crime.

Wednesday

“American Idol,” 8 p.m. on Fox — After last week’s elimination of Carly Smithson, with Syesha Mercado in the bottom two (and bumbling Brooke White and yawning Jason Castro safe), the suspense is chilling.

“Farmer Wants a Wife,” 8 p.m. on CW — I’m not necessarily recommending. I’m just sayin’ … Here’s a new reality series that’s basically “The Bachelor on a Farm.” Take it or leave it.

Thursday

“Grey’s Anatomy,” 8 p.m. on ABC — Dr. Addison Montgomery returns tonight, but it’s just temporary. Kate Walsh’s spinoff, “Private Practice,” has been renewed for next season. Friday:

“20/20,” 7 p.m. on ABC — Brit reporter Martin Bashir tends to focus on tabloid stories, but tonight he takes us on a lovely tour of the Sistine Chapel.

Saturday

“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,” 7 p.m. on ABC — The perfect family movie. This 2005 adaptation of C.S. Lewis’ novel follows four adventurous youths on a magical trek from World War II era London into a world of mythical creatures.

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Diagnosis: ‘Grey’s’ recovers from earlier malaise

Seattle Grace re-opened for business last night (Thursday) in a whirl of blood, romance, cockroaches, silliness and fun.

In other words, “Grey’s Anatomy,” which has been known to wallow in tragedy, self-indulgence and whining, has returned to its bright, irreverent, quirky temperament.

If you haven’t seen it yet, consider this your SPOILER ALERT. If you forgot to DVR it, you can get recaps, character updates and full episodes on ABC’s “Grey’s” Web site.

The entire plot danced around a contest the surgeons concocted, accruing points by the number and seriousness of procedures and thus living at the hospital for two weeks to be on call for any and all surgical work. Not surprisingly, Cristina is hysterical about this, and even Izzie gets in competitive mode.

As luck would have it, two brothers and a brother’s new wife arrive at the hospital with hideous wounds inflicted by a bear. One guy’s intestines are falling out, the woman has a huge chunk of her scalp hanging off the side of her head and the other guy has minor injuries but still seems “not right.”

The good news: After essentially getting dumped by Derek (who’s now nuzzling but not having actual sex with Rose), Meredith is in therapy. Boy, that’s a relief. All that moaning, whining and pining was like fingernails on a blackboard. But last night I actually felt a tiny bit of affection for Meredith and even laughed out loud when, hopped up on contest energy, she joyfully screamed to a patient, “It’s a brain tumor!!

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More good news: Izzie and George are toast. Did anybody ever believe that romance? Not for a second. Now George and Meredith’s half-sister Lexie are roommates in a roach-ridden apartment, and that friendship has great potential.

Even more good news: With Callie and hard-nosed Dr. Erica Hahn becoming fast friends, Cristina’s frantic attempts to suck up to Hahn achieved major comic level — and deftly turns slightly sad at the end.

The bad news: Not nearly enough of the story line featured my favorite “Grey’s” character, Dr. Bailey. We want more of her.

On balance, the return of “Grey’s” was a triumph, a badly needed transfusion of fun in a show that had become way too dull and mopey.

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‘Lost’ returns, actors union procrastinates

Ticked off readers keep asking me why I never mention “Lost” any more. This week’s TV column mentioned, with considerable joy, the return tonight of “Ugly Betty” (7 p.m.) and “Grey’s Anatomy” (8 p.m.).

“Lost” returns tonight, too, at 9 p.m. on ABC, for six new episodes leading up to the May 29 season finale.

There. Satisfied?

The reason I don’t write about “Lost” very much any more is that I’m totally over it. I loved the show the first two seasons, and then the producers seemed to get lost in their own serpentine stories. Were they making things up from week to week, or did they have answers to all the questions posed on the ultimate castaway saga?

I felt the same way about “The X-Files” at one point, although that show managed to find itself and wind up with some satisfying resolutions.

When last we saw our island plane crash survivors, Rousseau and Karl had just been shot. Are they dead? Is anyone really ever dead on “Lost?” Probably not, because they’re too busy dancing through past, present and future stories. Sayid and Michael had had yet another set-to, and bug-eyed Ben (does that man ever blink?) was stranger and dirtier than ever.

Tonight executive producers promise meatier, definitive stories heading toward the two-hour finale. At some point, we are told, the philosophical and physical conflicts between Jack and Locke will reach some sort of dramatic culmination on the magical-mystery-tour-of-an-island.

“Lost” is supposed to wander along with two more shortened seasons. We’ll see. If ratings collapse (and they’ve been saggin), the end could come sooner.

Ominous stirring among actors

The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists announced Wednesday that it will not begin its contract negotiations with producers on April 28, as planned.

Instead, the talks are now scheduled to begin May 5. The postponement was requested by major studios in the hope of wrapping up separate negotiations with the Screen Actors Guild before meeting with American Federation group.

Both of those actors’ unions are hoping for increased revenues from new media. Existing contracts expire June 30, and the actors, in separate union negotiations, are hoping to squeeze more out of producers than the writers guild received after its three-month strike.

If actors do strike, the TV season would be imperiled, as would the entire TV industry. Keep fingers crossed.

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‘Tudors’ renewed, Lucy Liu in demand, reality hosts OK for Emmys

Here’s a big surprise: “The Tudors” has been renewed for a third season on Showtime, probably to begin early in 2009.

The sexy saga of British royalty has generated enormous buzz and ratings for the premium cable channel. The fact that the real Henry VIII looked more like an obese slob than the gorgeous TV hunk interpreted by Jonathan Rhys Meyers apparently doesn’t faze viewers. Whatever … history as fantasy is better than no history at all.

All Lucy Liu all the time

The former “Ally McBeal” and “Charlie’s Angels” co-star has so enamored the suits at ABC that she just might wind up starring in two prime-time series next season.

“Dirty Sexy Money,” the soap opera about a filthy-rich New York family (headed by Donald Sutherland and kept in check by Peter Krause as the family attorney), has been courting Liu to join the ensemble cast as a regular. “Dirty” already has been picked up for a sophomore season (starting in the fall), along with “Pushing Daisies” and the “Grey’s Anatomy” spinoff, “Private Practice.”

Liu also starred in the midseason series “Cashmere Mafia,” which has not yet been renewed. It’s “on the bubble,” as they say, due to not-so-swell ratings.

If both shows wind up on the fall schedule, Liu might wind up in two series — or she might be asked to choose one. If so, look for her to pick “Dirty,” which has a better cast and much better prospects for audience growth.

Outstanding Reality-competition Program

Reality TV shows already compete for Emmys in two categories: reality competition and plain old reality. Now the hosts of reality shows will be eligible for Emmys.

And why not? Can you imagine “American Idol” without sweet-but-sometimes-snarky Ryan Seacrest? Of course not. He keeps the contestants sane and pokes the judges back in their cages. He’s indispensible to “Idol.”

Howie Mandel might not perform the same function on “Deal or No Deal,” but he’ll likely be up for an Emmy come fall anyway. So will Ty Pennington, Tom Bergeron and (gulp) maybe even Jeff Foxworthy. I’m pretty sure this category won’t include any of the really angry chefs who now populate prime time.

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‘Sarah Connor Chronicles’ will return, two leave ‘SVU’

Good news for fans of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.”

Fox is giving it a second season, ordering 13 new episodes to begin in the fall. The midseason sci-fi show premiered in January, after an NFL playoff game, with mostly rave reviews and a big audience (18 million viewers). Even with the expected dropoff after the debut, “Sarah Connor” was the top-rated new scripted series among the coveted 18-to-49 demo.

Lena Headey will reprise her role as Sarah, and Thomas Dekker will return as her future-leader son John. Brian Austin Green, who guest starred in five episodes earlier this year, will be a regular cast member in the fall.

“Sarah Connor” won’t be the only sci-fi offering on Fox next season. Joss Whedon’s eagerly anticipated newcomer “Dollhouse” likely will be on the schedule.

‘SVU’ loses two

The revolving door at Dick Wolf’s “Law & Order” franchise is spinning again. This time, “SVU” is losing a couple of regulars — Adam Beach, who played a cop, and Diane Neal, who played a prosecutor.

No biggie. Beach always seemed stiff and unsure in the role, and Neal became increasingly expressionless as her lips puffed up. (Why do these actresses do this to themselves?)

Moyers lands first chat with Jeremiah Wright

Bill Moyers has landed the first interview with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the controversial pastor of Barack Obama.

Wright retired earlier this year from Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, but his videotaped sermons have resurfaced on YouTube.

The interview will air on “Bill Moyers Journal” this Friday at 8 p.m. on PBS (KLRU).

Tony Snow on CNN

Former Bush White House press secretary Tony Snow, who stepped down more than a year ago to wage his second battle against cancer, is joining CNN on Monday as a conservative commentator.

Before serving W. Bush, Snow hosted “Fox News Sunday” and before that, he appeared on CNN’s “Crossfire.” The always busy Snow also has been a newspaper writer, radio host and speechwriter for George H.W. Bush.

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Austin stations win Texas AP Awards

Austin stations, not surprisingly, hit the motherlode in the just-announced Texas Associated Press Broadcasters Awards.

Competing in Division 2 (against San Antonio but not Dallas or Houston), Austin’s ABC affiliate KVUE raked in the most, winning 14 awards and 5 honorable mentions.

But every local news station in town won AP Awards.

Kudos to all. Here’s the list, as posted by Texas AP:

Best Newscast

  1. KXAN, Austin. Staff. News at 6 p.m.

  2. KENS, San Antonio. Kara Gennett & Ray Silva. 6 p.m. News.

Honorable Mention: KXAN, Austin. Staff. News at 10 p.m.

Best Sportscast

  1. WOAI, San Antonio. Don Harris & Mike Klein.

  2. KVUE, Austin. Mike Barnes. KVUE Sports at 6 p.m.

Honorable Mention: KEYE, Austin. Bob Ballou. 10 p.m.

Best Weathercast

  1. KVUE, Austin. Mark Murray. 10 p.m.

  2. KXAN, Austin. Jim Spencer. 10 p.m. Weathercast.

Honorable Mention: News 8 Austin, Austin. Burton Fitzsimmons. 8 a.m. Weather.

Best News Anchor/Team

  1. KVUE, Austin. Christine Haas.

  2. WOAI, San Antonio. Randy Beamer.

Honorable Mention: KTBC, Austin. Jenni Lee.

Best Spot Coverage-Station

  1. KVUE, Austin. Georgetown Drowning.

  2. KENS, San Antonio. Eagle Pass Tornado.

Best Spot Story/Individual

  1. KVUE, Austin. Kevin Peters and Robert McMurrey. Georgetown Drowning.

  2. KENS, San Antonio. James Munoz and Larry Burns. Corn Collapse.

Honorable Mention: News 8 Austin, Austin. Amy Hadley and Ed Keiner. Ice Storm.

Best Feature/Serious

  1. KVUE, Austin. Shelton Green and Woody Harrison. Ghost Bikes.

  2. WOAI, San Antonio. Delaine Mathieu and Ben Cruz. Babies Saving Their Own Lives.

Honorable Mention: KEYE, Austin. Judy Maggio and Dennis Bateman. Champion for Kids.

Best Feature/Light

  1. KENS, San Antonio. Marvin Hurst and Patricia Norman. Selling the Moon.

  2. KVUE, Austin. Amy Johnston and Doug Naugle. Cedar Park Quints.

Honorable Mention: News 8 Austin, Austin. Crestina Chavez and Ed Keiner. Fidographer.

Best Investigative

  1. KVUE, Austin. Rudy Koski and Dathan Hull. Justice Denied.

  2. WOAI, San Antonio. Brian Collister and Steve Kline. VA Medical Mistakes.

Honorable Mention: KVUE, Austin. Christine Haas and Todd Rogenthien. Maravilla Troubles.

Best Photojournalism/Station

  1. KVUE, Austin.

  2. KXAN, Austin.

Hon Men: KENS, San Antonio.

Best Photojournalism/Individual

  1. KXAN, Austin. Jonathan Uhl.

  2. KVUE, Austin. Todd Rogenthien.

Honorable Mention: KENS, San Antonio. Michael Humphries.

Best Sports Story

  1. WOAI, San Antonio. Don Harris, Keith Van Prooyen, Mike Klein. Daddy is on God’s Team.

  2. News 8 Austin, Austin. Shane McAuliffe. Deaf Football Team.

Best Series

  1. KEYE, Austin. Ron Oliveira, John Salazar and Benjamin Pollchik. Manopause.

  2. KABB, San Antonio. Staff. S.A. 360.

Honorable Mention: KVUE, Austin. Clara Tuma and Todd Rogenthien. Looking for Love.

Best Specialty/Beat Reporting

1.KTBC, Austin. Chris Coffey, John Craven and Shane Gordon. 7 On Your Side.

  1. KVUE, Austin. Elise Hu. Political Reporting.

Best Reporter

  1. KEYE, Austin. Jason Wheeler

  2. KABB, San Antonio. James Keith

Best General Assignment

  1. WOAI, San Antonio. Jaie Avila and Joey Mendoza. Car Wash Theft.

  2. KABB, San Antonio. Stephanie Rivas and Jack Greene. Amber Jones Memorial.

Honorable Mention: KVUE, Austin. Clara Tuma and Todd Rogenthien. Intel Implosion.

Best Continuing Coverage

  1. WOAI, San Antonio. Brian Collister and Steve Kline. Failed Principal.

  2. KENS, San Antonio. Staff. Mount Helotes Burning.

Honorable Mention: KVUE, Austin. Staff. Goodbye Lady Bird.

Best Website

  1. KEYE, Austin.

  2. KVUE, Austin.

Honorable Mention: KTBC, Austin.

Best Feature Editing

  1. KENS, San Antonio. Patricia Norman. Taking on Taggers

  2. KVUE, Austin. Todd Rogenthien. Canine Chaos.

Honorable Mention (tie): KVUE, Austin. Todd Rogenthien. Seaholm Swan Song.

KENS, San Antonio. Wes Sewell. S.A. Street Racers.

Best TV Magazine/Special

  1. KVUE, Austin. Kathy Hadlock. KVUE Close-Up.

  2. News 8 Austin, Austin. Rachel Elsberry, Drew Moses and Chris Rodriguez. ACL Music Festival.

Honorable Mention: WOAI, San Antonio. Don Harris, David Chancellor and Mike Klein. Race for the Rings Spurs Special.

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Huh? President Bush on ‘Deal or No Deal’

While John McCain, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are on the campaign trail trying to convince Americans they are just plain folks, President Bush pops up tonight on a give-away reality show, thus making himself the ultimate “regular guy.”

On “Deal or No Deal” (7 p.m. on NBC), Bush appears in a pre-taped message from the White House, thanking contestant Joseph Kobes for his service in the Iraq War. Kobe is an Army captain who received a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star during three tours of duty in Iraq.

The game show is taped and in the can, but NBC is keeping mum on Kobe’s quest for the $1 million prize. Did the presidential kudo and good-luck message help? We don’t know, but because Kobe says he wants to win the money to pay off his parents’ home, well, surely luck will be on his side.

‘Gossip Girl’ returns to TV but not Web

The CW is hoping to drive viewers to its teen saga “Gossip Girl” on TV, which is sort of an odd concept in this digital multimedia age.

The show returns tonight at 7 with new episodes, and for the next five weeks, the show will be available only on TV. Online streaming will not be available for these new episodes, but viewers can stream the previous 12 episodes on cwtv.com.

Why the focus on regular old broadcast TV? Network execs are probably thrilled with the pre-return buzz for “Gossip Girl” and hope to squeeze big bucks out of TV advertisers with the notion of an “exclusive showing.” Web ads, as we all know, don’t pull in the revenue that on-air ads do.

The CW will have post-episode interviews with creator Josh Schwartz, behind-the-scenes video of the case and contests for fans hosting viewing parties.

Cindy McCain co-hosts ‘The View’ today

So, now that Barbara Walters has had John McCain’s wife Cindy co-host “The View” (she’s on today at 10 a.m. on KVUE), won’t she have to invite Michelle Obama and Bill Clinton to co-host sometime in the near future, too?

Seems only fair. The stunning Miss Cindy isn’t/wasn’t simply a guest on the show; she is/was co-hosting with Walters. That’s a different level of exposure.

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This week’s TV highlights

Hundreds of channels, hours and hours of programming. So much to watch, so little time. Here are some highlights to get you started on your week of viewing.

Sunday

“Masterpiece Theatre: ‘My Boy Jack,’ ” 8 p.m. on PBS — Daniel Radcliffe, best-known as “Harry Potter,” stars as Rudyard Kipling’s teenage son, who goes missing in action during World War I.

“Sweet Nothing in My Ear,” 8 p.m. on CBS — Marlee Matlin, who is profoundly deaf and has stunned viewers with her graceful twirls on “Dancing with the Stars,” stars in this “Hallmark Hall of Fame” movie about a couple who disagree about the merits of a cochlear implant for their deaf son. Jeff Daniels plays the dad.

“Brothers & Sisters,” 9 p.m. on ABC — Back after the writers’ strike, the show picks up in the heat of Robert’s presidential campaign and the growing heat of Nora’s romance with Isaac. Look for surprises on both fronts.

Monday

“Gossip Girl,” 7 p.m. on CW — Blair tries to adjust to being un-cool (LOL!), and Serena tries to hide the mysteries of her life.

“Dirty Jobs,” 8 p.m. on Discovery — Mike Rowe, who loves to get his hands (and body) filthy, heads to Alaska to wallow in the goo of a fish processing ship. Smell-o-Vision.

Tuesday

Pennsylvania primary coverage, 5 p.m. on MSNBC, 6 p.m. on CNN, 7 p.m. on Fox News — The broadcast networks are ceding this bout between Democrats Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton to the cable networks. Fine by me.

Wednesday

“Law & Order,” 9 p.m. on NBC — Jesse L. Martin bows out as Detective Greene, and Anthony Anderson (“K-ville”) joins the squad. (Martin wasn’t fired; he’s returning to stage and big screen.)

Thursday

“Ugly Betty,” 7 p.m. on ABC — All new, at last! Betty’s plan to spend a romantic 24th birthday with Henry go awry, and Wilhelmina tries to spoil sister Renee’s romance with Daniel. We missed this sweet, campy show.

“Grey’s Anatomy,” 8 p.m. on ABC — Also back from the dead, the sexy surgeons of Seattle Grace are hooking up and splitting up again. For now, Meredith and Derek are split; Derek and Rose are together.

Friday

“Moonlight,” 8 p.m. on CBS — Mmmm … vampires are back. Mick wants to give up blood-sucking to become human, but love gets in the way.

Saturday

“Letters From Iwo Jima,” 7 p.m. on AMC — Clint Eastwood directed this deeply moving 2006 film about the Battle of Iwo Jima, told from the perspective of Japanese soldiers.

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TV Turnoff Week? Not me.

We’re coming up on TV Turnoff Week (starts Monday), and it should not surprise you that I’m not participating. Again. Never have and possibly never will.

Besides the fact that I watch TV for a living (insert snide, condescending comments here), turning off TV is like fasting to lose weight, when what you really need to do is eat less, eat healthy and exercise every now and then. Turning off TV is like throwing out the baby with the bathwater — an expression so bizarre that I just had to use it.

The TV Turnoff folks would have us believe that TV is addictive and unhealthy, that everything on the small screen is stupid and culturally empty. I don’t happen to believe that. I love television, and I think it makes me smarter and certainly happier.

But here’s the key to healthy TV consumption: Plan what you’re going to watch, make wise decisions and don’t just keep the box turned on if there’s nothing you particularly want to watch. Don’t wade through clumsy sitcoms and greedy give-away shows just to get to an episode of “Boston Legal” you’ve been dying to see. Catch up on reading or take a power walk through your neighborhood instead.

Indulging in chips and chocolate is not lethal for your well-being if done in moderation, and TV is not bad for you if you exercise proper selection. Give yourself an hour a night — maybe two on Thursdays — and take off Fridays and Saturdays entirely. Check out channels like Discovery and BBC America to broaden your horizons.

I don’t know this for a fact, but my guess is that people who campaign for TV Turnoff Week are the same people who tell me, on a regular basis and in the most inappropriate settings (like weddings and funerals) that they never watch anything but news, PBS and sports. And then after a drink or two, they ask me, in a whisper, who finally won “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?R