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Recap: ‘Your OWN Show’ week 1
Hey, did you know that being on national television changed Oprah Winfrey’s life? It’s true! She also has her own magazine and introduced America to the likes of Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Nate Berkus and Rachel Ray.
Now she’s got her own network, OWN, with her own OWN studios she tells us at the top of “Your OWN Show: Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star,” which premiered Friday night on the aforementioned Oprah Winfrey Network.
There may have been somebody watching the premiere who didn’t already know all of this about Winfrey, but I doubt it. Still, I guess she’s making the point that the stakes are high and the potential rewards huge for the winner of the reality competition, in which ten contestants (culled from more than 15,000 hopefuls) who Winfrey says have “the dream, the ambition and the it factor” to vie for their own OWN talk show. The winner only gets an eight-episode commitment from Winfrey but, hey … there is that new car and a nice, big cash prize from sponsor Kohls.
The contestants introduce themselves:
First up is Las Vegas mortgage and real estate broker of 20 years Alicia. She wants to host a financial show to help Americans get back on track.
Next is Christina. Her proposed cooking show is all about “being real in the kitchen.” She wipes tears from her eyes as she tells us she wants to win the contest for her kids, to show them there’s nothing in life that can stop you. I think she was sad or overwhelmed, but it may just have been onions — she is proposing a cooking show.
Tony is from Abilene, Texas. He dropped out of school because he was illiterate at 16. Maybe his show will be about improving schools. He is now, he tells us, “a minister, an author and a new-self spiritual coach.” He’s probably not going to do a cooking show.
Motivational speaker and Arizonan Terey turned to humor to help her cope with her husband’s tragic death in a car accident.
Aunt Flora, from Cincinnati, Ohio, wants to help people “bring a little bit of soul, a little bit of flair to the scene.” Okay.
West Hollywood’s Ryan is one of those guys who loves theater and seems to have no off switch. He wants to be America’s “new gay best friend.”
Leigh, a stay-at-home mom of four, loves being a mom, but doesn’t let that define her. She has a voice she says, and it needs to be heard. Something tells me we’ll be hearing a lot of it tonight. She also happens to be married to comic actor David Koechner, the obnoxious Todd Packer on “The Office.” But she doesn’t tell us that, because this is all about her voice.
Los Angeles television news reporter Elizabeth wants to host a current events show. You know, because that’s so different from what she does now.
Eric, also from Los Angeles, wants to host a show about cooking and, from the looks of him, he has sampled a dish or two in his time. Oh, wait — he also wants to lose weight and help his audience lose weight along with him.
Finally we get to local boy Zach Anner. Over a video of him rolling down the street in his wheelchair, Austin’s Zach tells us that he has “cerebral palsy and a unique perspective on life.” If Oprah gave him his own OWN show, he says, he would have an opportunity to make the world a better place. I’m not sure I believe that, but I can tell you it would be a funnier and way more charming place.
Oprah’s back now, giving us a rundown of the show. Over the next eight weeks, she says, the contestants will be hosting cooking segments, conducting interviews, participating in style makeovers, etc.
If you DVR’d this show, you’ll want to skip through the theme song, which comes next. It’s a horrible, auto-tuned thing that implores somebody — the contestants? The viewers? - to OWN it, wanna wanna OWN it. “This is your chance to OWN it,” the song goes. “This is your chance, don’t blow it.” I know, it doesn’t exactly rhyme, but it says “OWN” about 400 times, and I think that’s what’s really important here.
Hosts Nancy O’Dell and Carson Kressley finally take the stage in front of the contestants and a studio audience. They vaguely explain the rules and the prizes, which include $100,000 in cash from Kohls — which Aunt thrills Aunt Flora — and a 2011 Chevy Equinox which, for some reason, nearly sends Ryan into spasms of joy.
The groups are split by gender. But there are six gals and only four guys, so the women all introduce themselves and the men have to choose one of them to bring over to their team. Each of the women really seems to want to be on the guys’ team, maybe because they can sense how horrible things are going to go for the female team tonight (women are intuitive, right?). The guys choose Alicia, who tells them they want her because she’s a winner, thankfully passing over Leigh, who tells them she’s hungry to win — like a wolf (I guess wolves are also fond of Chevys). Then she actually does an impression of a wolf, making a weird snarling noise and moving her fingers as if they were claws. There is no way I would choose Leigh to be on my team.
During the discussion, Zach gets in his first good line, saying he doesn’t know which woman to choose because “they’re all so pretty.” Hee. Funny and smart.
The hosts explain that the women’s team will be named “Vision” and the (mostly) guys’ team will be called “Focus.” I know, I also thought it was because Lenscrafters was a sponsor, but they’re not. It turns out it’s because the winner will need those two qualities in order to prevail.
As Nancy and Carson tell the teams it’s time for the competition to begin, who sneaks onto the stage but — wait for it — Oprah! This makes the contestants go nuts. Leigh screams. Ryan’s lips freeze in an “o” shape of surprise, but I think Oprah gets a royalty check every time that happens, so well-played. Terey looks like she’s about to cry and I swear Zach almost leapt out of his wheelchair. Christina bursts into tears (but she might have smuggled onions in her pockets) and several of the women start bowing in that annoying Wayne’s World “We’re not worthy” fashion.
Oprah approaches the contestants, greets them and shakes their hands. Leigh tries to grab her as she walks away, maybe trying to get some of the mogul’s mojo or to steal her fabulous necklace.
Oprah says she’s busy, but that she wanted to come to the premiere because she “knows a few thngs about talk shows.” Oh, Oprah. She imparts some advice, then introduces this week’s celebrity mentor, Dr. Phil. He’s going to help the teams produce segments on sex and relationships. And he’s going to appear in the segments, too. He kind of threatens the teams, telling them, “Believe me, you do not want to make me look bad.”
“Ooooh!” Elizabeth mouths, and Oprah gets another check.
What happens in the actual competition will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen “The Apprentice.” The teams must each select a producer for their segments, and then figure out who is going to appear on camera, do audience research, etc.
Zach comes up with Team Focus’ idea: an exploration of how technology — text messaging, etc. — affects sexuality. He and Ryan will solicit questions on the street and also appear on camera with Dr. Phil, who will answer those questions. Solid plan.
Team Vision, though, is kind of lacking one. Leigh is full of ideas, and they are all terrible. She wants to explore if the size of a man’s shoe really corresponds to the size of a certain other body part. Then she wants to tell guys that if they add just one more lovemaking session a week to their relationships, they can kick up their life expectancy. But, mostly, she wants to dominate the conversation, which sends Dr. Phil back into threat mode.
“Look,” he says, “If you bring me some bogus bull——, you’re not gonna like the outcome.” He tells team Vision they have to focus which, thankfully, does not start up a ‘Who’s on First?’-style comedy routine based on Team Vision and Team Focus.
The mens’ segment goes remarkably well. Zach and Ryan appear onstage with Dr. Phil. Both of the guys are really comfortable on camera and Zach gets off some really funny one-liners: Ryan asks Zach if he is ready to play a question from a viewer. Zach looks up, saying he wasn’t paying attention because he was busy “sexting” Dr. Phil. Later, he admits that he can’t actually send erotic text messages because his condition prevents him from typing. “But I would like to receive them,” he cracks. This causes a couple of the women, watching from their dressing room, to laugh, which makes Leigh snap. “Someone is going home right after this!” she growls (but this time, thankfully, she skips the clawing action).
The women’s segment is a mess, but we knew it would be because we’ve been watching them snipe at each other all night. Their question is based on a study that one of them found online. It said that men who wear condoms are less stressed, and they want Dr. Phil’s opinion on whether or not it’s a good idea to use protection. Except it’s unclear how badly they want his answer because they take forever to get to him and, when they do, host Leigh cuts him off and offers her own opinions instead. O’Dell and Kressley, watching from the audience, react in disbelief (at this rate the contestants won’t appear in front of anyone but the pair for some time).
Team Vision also falls prey to technical glitches: Leigh points to a video monitor where a man on the street question is supposed to appear, but nothing happens for what seems like an eternity — nothing except for Dr. Phil’s “what am I doing here?” expression.
The guys, watching from backstage, know they’ve got this in the bag. They’re not even discussing the women’s performance. Instead, Ryan admits that he has a little crush on dapper Dr. Phil.
After the competition, O’Dell, Kressley and Dr. Phil bring the two teams together and ask them to self-evaluate. Team Focus think they did great, but the members of Team Vision, feeling the heat, begin turning on each other, but mostly on Elizabeth. The judges declare the (mostly) men’s team the winners, which means they are safe. They tell Leigh and Elizabeth that they’re in danger of being sent packing, and give them each a chance to best the other by conducting one-on-one interviews with Dr. Phil.
Leigh goes first. She looks nervous and desperate. She tells Dr. Phil that nurturing her marriage is more difficult than mothering. She asks him his advice on keeping a marriage fresh, which probably isn’t going to make her husband David real happy when he sees this. Dr. Phil tells Leigh that honesty is key. Sometimes, she replies, she tells her husband how she really feels and he gets really angry. I’m no relationship expert, but I don’t think this is going to help. Leigh almost interrupts Dr. Phil again. It just doesn’t go well.
Elizabeth, in contrast, is cool and collected. She is personable and involved as she engages Dr. Phil in a discussion about her special needs brother. She asks good questions and seems genuinely interested in Dr. Phil’s answers. She doesn’t interrupt him. She doesn’t talk about an angry spouse.
It’s no real surprise that the judges send Leigh packing.
“Right now, Leigh, we don’t think it is your time so we are not going to be producing your show,” they tell her, letting her hurry home to break all of their TVs before David can watch the broadcast. She says she’s excited to be going home to see her kids, but bummed that she’s going to be putting them to bed sooner than she expected.
Next week: Makeover segments with designer Vera Wang (and a much shorter recap).
Did you watch “Your OWN Show?” What were your thoughts? Sound off in the comments below.
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