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This week’s TV picks
Monday:
‘Miss Universe Pageant’ 8 p.m., NBC: Former Poison front man Bret Michaels hosts and John Legend performs. I hope Miss Mercury wins — she’s hot!
‘Ultimate Car Build-Off’ 8 p.m., Discovery: Personal water vehicles are converted into hovercraft. Hey — whatever floats your boat.
‘Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations’ 9 p.m., Travel: I’m confused. I would think that if you were as famous as Bourdain, it would be easy to get reservations.
Tuesday:
’30 for 30’ 7 p.m., ESPN: Michael Jordan’s minor league baseball career is chronicled by the director of the baseball movie ‘Bull Durham.’
‘Jefferson’ 7 p.m., History: The life and legacy (but not minor league baseball career) of founding father and third U.S. President Thomas Jefferson is explored in this new documentary.
‘America’s Got Talent’ 8 p.m., NBC: Austin’s Arc Attack is one of the 12 acts still standing in the nationwide, televised talent search.
Wednesday:
‘Great Performances’ 7 p.m., PBS: The Vienna Philharmonic gets all spacey with selections from ‘Star Wars’ and Gustav Holst’s ‘The Planets.’
‘Joy of Christmas’ 7 p.m., QVC: Mark your calendars and then breathe a heavy sigh — August 25 is apparently the first day of the Christmas shopping season.
‘Food Wars’ 9 p.m., Travel: Tonight’s episode looks at the Detroit Hot Dog War. Veterans of that conflict, sadly, get zero respect.
Thursday:
‘Cereal: Beyond the Bowl’ 7 p.m., Discovery: This show studies the product’s soggy impact on culture and world events. No, really. How great would it be if the show’s music was provided by Spoon?
‘Futurama’ 9 p.m., Comedy Central: Lrrr has a midlife crisis. That’s right, copy editor: ‘Lrrr.’ Don’t change it.
‘Jersey Shore’ 9 p.m., MTV: Mike, Vinny and Pauly juggle four girls in one night. I hope they’re not juggling chainsaws at the same time.
Friday:
‘The Gulf is Back’ 7 p.m., The CW: A host of country stars join David Hasselhoff, Dean Cain and Shannon Elizabeth in honoring Gulf Coast residents who have bounced back from the oil spill.
‘Whale Wars’ 8 p.m., Animal Planet: Season 3 ends with a back-to-back two-parter.
‘Beyond Survival with Les Stroud’ 9 p.m., Discovery: The ‘Survivorman’ kicks off a new series with a trip to Sri Lanka.
Saturday:
‘NFL Football: Cowboys at Texans’ 7 p.m., CBS: Dallas battles Houston for the title of … exhibition game winner, I guess.
‘Persons Unknown’ 7 p.m., NBC: This more-or-less failed summer series burns off its final two episodes tonight.
‘Bad Dog!’ 7 p.m., Animal Planet: Pets act out in this series opener.
Sunday:
‘62nd Primetime Emmy Awards’ 7 p.m., NBC: Jimmy Fallon hosts while I blog and Twitter my butt off.
‘The Cove’ 8 p.m., Animal Planet: This Oscar-winning documentary examines the plight of abused dolphins in Japanese coastal waters.
‘Amazing Wedding Cakes’ 9 p.m., We: Season 3 kicks off with a wedding cake blending sci-fi and Victorian themes. Beam me up, Sherlock.
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