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This week’s TV picks
A screen shot from ABC’s ‘Dating in the Dark.’ Okay, not really.
I’m starting to realize that these are coming across more as ‘warnings’ than ‘picks.’ However you take them, here’s hoping they help:
Monday
‘The Bachelorette’ 7 p.m. ABC. The men tell all. Really? Have you seen this show? I think maybe they might want to hold some of it back. Just sayin’.
‘Dating in the Dark’ 9 p.m. ABC. I hate to keep picking on ABC, but this is a show — a television show, on television, a visual medium — in which contestants get acquainted in a completely dark room. Those are going to be some gripping visuals. Incidentally, if the room in question is 3 feet by 4 feet and is filled with hanging clothes and dusty boxes, I think I was on this show in high school.
Tuesday
‘Hell’s Kitchen’ 7 p.m. Fox. In the two-hour season opener, Satan (the lord of darkness) prepares a delightful crème brûlée. Just kidding. Sixteen new contestants form two teams and whip up signature dishes in an effort to win a head chef’s job at a future Olympics event site. I’ll bet the athletes don’t have to humiliate themselves like this.
Wednesday
‘Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed’ (rerun) 10 p.m. CW. The CW is repeating this program because, you know — it’s always more fun to learn how a magic trick is done the second time around.
Thursday
‘How Do I Look?’ 8 p.m. Style. Not bad, really. Although, if I’m being honest, you could probably stand to lose a few, especially around the hips.
‘Crime 360’ 9 p.m. A&E. The description reads only, ‘Indianapolis.’ Hmm. ’Nuff said.
Friday
‘Ghost Adventures’ 8 p.m. Travel. Spooky stuff is going on at an English inn that was built over a pagan burial ground. Shocker. Look, I know the real estate is cheap, but c’mon … I wouldn’t even build a Halloween attraction over a burial ground.
Saturday
‘Animal Planet Dog Championships 2009’ 7 p.m. Animal Planet. Behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with owners and trainers at a competition featuring canines from all over the country. It’s like that ‘Best in Show’ movie without the snarky humor, which is why I will be watching ‘Best in Show.’
Sunday
‘Merlin’ 7 p.m. NBC. Morgana helps Merlin when he has to secretly return a druid boy to his people. I hope that’s not Morgana, that busty woman who used to interrupt baseball games by running out onto the fields and kissing the players. Remember her? On second thought, that might make all this medieval mumbo-jumbo more interesting.
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