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Dale Roe writes about television for the Austin American-Statesman.

He's worked at the American-Statesman for 10 years and has written family movie and video game reviews as well as watched lots of TV. Dale directs, writes and performs with Austin's Gag Reflex comedy ensemble, is a freelance illustrator and has contributed stories and reviews to Macworld magazine. He lives in Round Rock with his wife, two children and a dog named Apollo who barks whenever he hears another dog bark on television.

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The entry titled "More with Wes Hayden of 'The Bachelorette'."

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Austin360 blogs > TV Blog > Archives > 2009 > July > 19 > Entry

More with Wes Hayden of ‘The Bachelorette’

By Staff | Sunday, July 19, 2009, 09:41 AM

If you read Claudia Grisales’ interview with Wes Hayden and want more, here are some additional excerpts from their conversation.

What’s the reaction been like since you were featured on the show?

It’s intense. The hate mail is intense. People have actually called my record promoter and she’s actually had a death threat. And then my ex-girlfriend, they mentioned her name on TV. She is getting so much hate mail. They have taken her cell phone and plastered it all over the Internet. It’s a hateful thing.

Did you have a sense you would be portrayed this way?

I never thought they would hear me saying everything in context and then just cut me how they wanted. I’m from a small town in Texas; we don’t do things like that. I don’t intentionally try to make somebody out to be a bad person, but this is Hollywood, this is how these people get paid.

What’s your relationship like with the show now? The gloves are off. I’ve been playing music for a long time. I can’t allow these people to destroy me. This is my livelihood. It could have been good thing for the both of us. But yet they chose to make me this villain, and for what, just so they can have their ratings?

People have to understand and they have to know the truth. They were trying to create a character the minute I stepped out from the limo. They were really adamant about me not wearing a suit and tie. They were like “wear blue jeans and boots and pearl snaps.”

You say they took your words out of context?

They left sentences out that are vital sentences to whatever I’m saying.

For instance, when I said … in one episode “Look man, I’ve already made six shows, I’ve got the publicity, I can haul (expletive)”; I did say that, but they didn’t show what I said right after that and before that. I said, “Look guys, I understand if there is anybody here that thinks I have a hidden agenda. I do have a CD coming out, I do have a career in music, but look, if I was here for the publicity, I’ve already made six shows, I’ve got the publicity, I can haul (expletive). But I am still here because I want to be here. I don’t want to leave until I know until I know there is nothing at all between me and Jillian.”

Why did some of the guys think you had a girlfriend? I told Jake that I had been in a relationship and she was still one of my best friends. I told him in terms of the future I didn’t see us getting back together, but I didn’t rule it out either.

I was just having an honest talk with somebody on the show. We all talked a lot. That’s pretty much all we have. We are sequestered, there is no TV, there is no radio, there is no Internet, there is no book, there’s nothing. So from the time you wake up, you are with the same guys. Every day you wake up, you are at breakfast, drink some beer all day, you barbecue, you talk and you just hope you’ll go out on a date so you can get out of the house or the hotel.

So all the guys we get really, really close with each other. It’s not like you see on TV; we don’t hate each other. I can honestly say that out of the two months that I was on the show, I spent less than four hours of alone time with Jillian. So you know the guys a lot better than you know the girl.

So you had an ex-girlfriend by the time you were on the show?

We were friends for seven years and we dated for three. We were on and off probably all last summer and then we finally decided we needed time, so we broke up in late July, early August (last year). I went on the show end of March.

Then why did you say you had a girlfriend on-camera?

You answer (producer questions) in complete sentences so they know what you are talking about. And (the producer) said “What’s this about you being the only bachelor in history to making it to the final four with a girlfriend? “So I’m repeating that question back in a full sentence so everyone knows what I am talking about, and then I said, “Get real man, why would I be here?” How was the relationship with the show initially? You get really close with all the producers on the show. I did trust them; I never thought that they would think to edit some of the things that they edited like they did. Looking back and watching the show, I lived a whole different experience than what I saw on TV.

Why did you come on the show? My little sister actually signed me up. Everybody was super nice, the casting people, and the producers. They were like “We’ve never had a musician on the show before and we think you’d be a good element.” I remember getting the contract and looking at it and saying “holy (expletive), this is crazy, these people own me.” There is nothing that I have left of myself after I sign this contract.

My manager read it. My attorneys read it. My mom wanted me to go on the show, she really wants me to settle down and find somebody. A good friend of mine who is a preacher down in Houston said, “You know what Wes, this is an opportunity. God is opening a door for you, you need to walk through it.” And my manager was like, “Wes, go, and have a good time. Nobody falls in love on these reality shows anyway, but it might be good for your record and you’ll get to do a lot things you have never done before.”

What was your impression of Jillian that first night? I remember looking at Jillian … and I was like “Man, she looks really good; she’s actually really attractive.” At this point I’m thinking this is going to be really fun. … I do think Jillian and I did have a connection from the minute I stepped out of the limo.

What happened the night of the showdown at the Hyatt? I was ready to see my family. Then Jake pops up and does his whole stunt. The whole time I am thinking, “Why are we doing this? Here’s the deal, I don’t have a girlfriend. Jillian, we can stay here and beat a dead horse all day long, you’re gonna get the same answer: I don’t have a girlfriend, I haven’t had a girlfriend, can we go meet my family now?” I mean that’s why we are here. I think this is the most important part of the show is you meeting my family and them getting an impression of you and me together.”

I was just real frustrated. I didn’t come home to have some make-believe conversation with Jake.

My family was waiting for like seven hours for me to come and meet them at the house. They had everything set up, they had barbecue catered, but the whole time the show knew what was going on and I didn’t make it to my family’s house until almost 12 o’clock at night. They were tired. They hadn’t eaten. They kept saying, “Hey, we want to eat, we got the barbecue here, we’re starving, we haven’t eaten all day.” And the producers were like “Don’t have anything to eat. Here, have another drink.” They want you totally inebriated on that show.

What do you mean? Look at everybody on the show, when they are doing their (one-on-one interviews), like at the end of the date, look at their eyes. Their eyes are just like glazed over. I mean Jillian looks like she is fixing to fall out half the time. I mean have you noticed that? (Fellow contestant) Dave is sitting there talking and only one eye is blinking and he looks totally hammered.

So what happened to your connection with Jillian? I just felt like this is too much for somebody to recoup. The night we were having dinner, our last night in Spain, I told Jillian “Look, if we would have met each other outside of this TV show, things would have been so different. I would have spent more time with you in one night than I spent with you in two months here.”

Jillian is a great girl. She is funny, she is attractive, she doesn’t need a TV show to meet somebody and fall in love. She can do that on her own.

Looking back, any red flags? I think it was already set in stone what was going to happen to me, I just never saw it coming until the night I was in Canada. … People were wanting us to talk about me being there for publicity more and more. So at this point, I’m thinking, OK, I see where this is going. I was ready to leave.

I told the guys if I got me a taxi from Canada back to Texas, I’d do it. They had all the producers coming and talking to me saying, “Wes, just stay on the show, just stay here and play the game.”; So I ended up staying and they really raked me over the coals.

What happened in the final limo ride home? The first thing I am doing is I’m humming (a Stoney LaRue) song and I’m talking to the producer in the back and I’m going, “Man I’ve got this song stuck in my head.” And he goes “What song is that?” … I said, “It says if I’m going down, I’m going down in flames. One thing’s for certain, everybody’s gonna to know my name.” And so the clip that you get of me in the limo is the first thing I said was “I’m going down in the flames.”

We rode around for about three hours … with no A/C on … because (the producer said the) sound for the a/c was messing with the microphone. When I step in the limo at first, I’m all fine and dandy. At the end, I’m sweaty and greasy and I’m like “What, are we driving in circles? Take me home, it’s (expletive) hot in here.” You can see two different people in the matter of a one-minute clip. I remember saying “You know what, I don’t think I ever want to do this ever again. My acting days are over. I’m never going to do another TV show, reality or not.” So you hear me say, “I’m going down in flames.” Clip. “My acting days are over.”Clip. And they just wrote them together and then you hear me saying, “I’m in Spain.” …And then back to the beginning of the limo ride when I was singing that song “Everybody’s gonna know my name.” They’re clever, man.

Another example when I said “the chains are off, you know, cu clink, cu clink, clink, clink, it’s going down, it’s on like a pot of neck bones.” …It had nothing to do with Jillian. On that show you are sequestered you are not allowed to do anything, you don’t go out, you don’t get seen in public, you don’t have a good time - you do with the guys - but I was like… “I am going out tonight dude, I’m in Spain, it’s going down. It’s on like a pot of neck bones. I’m going to go out and party tonight period. There’s nothing you can do anymore. I am kicked off the show.” They said, “no, you got to go home.” I said “That’s (expletive) dude, the chains are off, cut ‘em off, I’m free.”

Were you pressured?

I wasn’t pressured to do anything. It was just ideas that they gave me. The night that I sang my song for Jillian, it was like 4 o’clock in the morning, and they came and I was literally sleeping. They wake me up and say, “Hey man, she is coming back from her date with (fellow contestant) Sasha, she let him go, why don’t you go cheer her up?” So I go and there’s a whole production crew, lighting, everything is set up.

The show didn’t have a media conference call with you after you were booted from the show.

They cancelled mine. They didn’t want me talking to anybody. I’ve been available. I’ve worked too hard in my life to let somebody destroy me for their TV ratings. I might be from Texas and I might talk slow, but I’m not stupid. If I had a hidden agenda to go on that show, my lips would have been sealed, never would I have once said I was there for my CD, my career and I have a girlfriend. I know how to market myself, and it would not have been to go on TV and have everyone hate me.

(An ABC spokeswoman, Cathy Rehl, said that the week Hayden was booted on air, he wasn’t available for a media conference call. Also, “we don’t do conference calls with all the men,” she said.)

Why didn’t you attend the taping of the “Men Tell All” episode? I had talks with them and I told them that I wasn’t going to come on the show. I didn’t trust how they were going to edit me.

And then when I saw the very last episode (I was on), I realized that I had to go back to defend myself. I called them and … their words to me — they were kind of abrasive — were “Oh, so now you want to come on the show?” They were pretty rude. I said, “I’ve got to defend myself.”

Their exact words to me were “You can’t come on the show and say the things you have been saying on all these other interviews,” basically the truth. And I said, “You mean I can’t come on the show and defend myself?”

That’s not right. What do you expect me to do? To go in there and say I have a girlfriend when I don’t have a girlfriend? I’m on there for my career when clearly there were several different reasons why I was on the show? … They said, “OK, we’ll call you back.” And my manager talked to them on (July 10) and the “Men Tell All” was the next day … and they said, “Look, we don’t think it’s a good idea that Wes come.”

How has this impacted your career?

It’s affected it pretty negatively. I’ve got people that send me hate mail daily. I’ve had four, five gigs canceled on me for like $20,000. So it’s affected me mentally, physically, spiritually and financially.

What now?

The more days that pass and the more people I get to talk to and share what really happened and the person that I really am, it seems like my faith is getting strong. There is a Bible verse that says “all things work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” I just have to believe that God has a plan for me and he’s not going to let this set me back. I will turn this thing around. The perception of me is out there, so now it’s up to me to change that perception, one person at a time.

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