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Would ye like some TV picks?
Colin Morgan as Merlin. Nick Briggs photo/NBC
Who’s your TV buddy? Uh-huh. Once again I’ve scoured through hundreds of hours of upcoming television programming so you don’t have to. Here’s some interesting stuff coming up this week:
Monday, June 29
‘Secrets of the Founding Fathers’ 7pm, History Channel: The founding fathers’ connection with Freemasonry is explored. I’m hoping we might also finally learn what Thomas Jefferson was doing in the conservatory with the lead pipe.
Tuesday, June 30
‘America’s Got Talent’ 8pm, NBC: Nationwide auditions continue. After watching this show last week, I’m confused … is the title supposed to be ironic?
Wednesday, July 1
‘I Survived a Japanese Game Show’ 8pm, ABC: No specific program information was available for this episode. That’s probably just as well, because my Japanese is not good and the translation would probably be pretty messed up.
Thursday, July 2
‘Moments of Impact’ 8pm, Discovery Channel: In this reality series debut, a teenager’s pet lion attacks his friend. It’s okay, you can go back and read that again. Alright, are you back? Good. In related news, I am totally going to stop complaining about these little ants that keep crawling across my desk.
Friday, July 3
‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ 8pm, BBC America: A man hopes his bride-to-be will love the medieval-themed ceremony he planned. I hope he ditches the idea to replace the wedding rings with thumbscrews. Also, those custom vows that read, ‘Do you take this wench?’ might not go over so well.
Saturday, July 4
‘48 Hours Mystery’ 9pm, TLC: The 2001 murder of Kent Heitholt in Columbia, Missouri is investigated. There are lots of fireworks stands in Missouri, so there’s your 4th of July tie-in. Happy Independence Day!
‘Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular’ 9pm, CBS: Would I leave you hanging without a real 4th of July-related pick? No. Craig Ferguson hosts and Neil Diamond performs. I picture Diamond throwing his sequin-studded, jump suited arm around naturalized citizen Ferguson and singing, “he’s commmming to America,” but, oddly, I picture that fairly often.
Sunday, July 5
‘Merlin’ 7pm, NBC: Lancelot saves Merlin from a magical, winged creature, so Merlin talks him up to Arthur. I’m not sure if I’ll be sitting on my throne, munching on a turkey leg and watching this program, but I’ll bet that guy from ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ never misses it.
‘Storm Stories’ 7pm, The Weather Channel: I keep checking, week after week, but they’re still not covering how my wife corrals us all into the bathtub and throws a mattress on top of us every time the wind gets strong enough that we can hear the chimes.
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