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Thursday, March 27, 2008
Battle of the energy bars
Anyone who participates in a sport is likely to want a fast source of nutrition, hence the proliferation of energy bars at corner stores, groceries and supplement shops alike. You can order them with custom ingredients online. You can eat them anytime. Here are a few, reviewed, friend of mine.
Clif
My favorite weirdly-abbreviated-geological-formation flavor is, inexplicably, carrot cake. Clif’s Web site says: “Just like eating a slice of Great Aunt Edna’s award-winning carrot cake.”
Uh, not really. It resembles carrot cake about as much as the chalky brown coating on most energy bars could be said to resemble chocolate. Still, the flavor and texture is not unpleasant, which is high praise for an energy bar.
The regular Clif bar is one of the sort of energy source that eschews a chocolate coating for a more homogenous taste and feel — although the carrot cake flavor has little bits of pseudo-icing distributed throughout. The bar is exceptionally dense, and I suspect a suit made of Clif bars would attract bears but repel bullets. Nonetheless, the bland but inoffensive taste, which improves proportionally with hunger levels, combined with its durability and inability to melt in any significant way makes the plain Clif bar an ideal selection for long backpacking trips, especially in the heat of the Texas summer.
Plus, I never get tired of reading the Clif makers’ inspirational business story while stopped for a rest under a live oak. Contains 10g protein, 46g carbs, 4g fiber.
Clif Builders
Clif Builders provides more protein as well as the ubiquitous chocolate coating in a bulked-up version of their popular bar. Clif Builders abandons the “tan lump” aesthetic for a rectangular shape, like nearly every other energy bar on the market. Since the Builders bar will melt, I don’t advise taking it on any long trips, unless you want your hands to look like you’ve been spending too much time with poo-flinging monkeys. In fact, I refrigerate mine (Peanut Butter is my favorite Builders bar, with Cookies ‘n’ Cream a close second) if I plan on taking them out of the house.
The flavor, however, is terrific. Well, OK: it isn’t roast-pheasant-with-demi-glace-terrific, or even chocolate-cake-terrific. But it does taste pretty much like your regular candy bars, and contains lots of chocolate and caramel, with just the slightest hint of chalkiness. Yum. The Peanut Butter flavor has 20g protein, 30g carbs, and 4g protein.
EASAdvantEDGE
This is also a pretty nice-tasting bar. A crisped rice and peanut core sits on a layer of chocolate, with more chocolate drizzled on top. Because of the crisped rice, the EAS bar is much less heavy than either of the Clif bars (neither of which I can eat in one sitting), a definite advantage when it needs to be consumed quickly.
The EASAdvantage (Chocolate Peanut Butter Crisp) has 17g protein, 27g carbs, and 6g fiber, which is a pretty good all-around figure.
Kashi GoLean Chewy and PowerBar Protein Plus
I’m reviewing the Kashi and PowerBar selections together because they are similar in composition. The Kashi flavor I tested (if you can call it that) is peanut butter and chocolate, while the PowerBar version is chocolate peanut butter. The Kashi Bar is a little bit thicker, but narrower, while the PowerBar sticks to the more common slender rectangular shape. Both offer a sort of whipped peanut butter-y filling with a chocolate coating.
It is actually difficult to determine which is more horrible. The Kashi bar is grainy in texture, and the chocolate flavor is weak, as if the person mixing it was having a bout of ennui. A bite of the Kashi bar seems to expand in the mouth, and is so thick that a 5K could be run before you could finish chewing it.
The PowerBar offers a different take on the same vileness. The filling is a little more airy, and the chocolate much more substantive. This is not a good thing. One imagines this very chalky brown choco-disgrace muscling its way into the esophagus, screaming about the need for protein in a sort of energy-bar ‘roid rage. Seriously, there needs to be a choking warning on both of these bars (or at least a gag warning).
The PowerBar has 23g of protein, 39g of carbs, and 1g fiber, while the Kashi has 13g protein, 48g carbs, and 6g fiber. (I guess the Kashi food scientists figure that if you are going to go through the trauma of eating this thing, you may as well eliminate it quickly.) On the basis of being the least disgusting, the Kashi bar muscles its way to next-to-last place in this rating.
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Megan survives boot camp
I made it through the final week of Austin Sports and Social Club’s boot camp but, let me tell you, it was no easy task.
Week four was basically an accumulation of the things I had grown to hate over the previous three weeks. It started off looking pretty good. At 5:30 Monday morning, I stuck my leg outside, as I normally do every morning, to see what the appropriate attire was going to be for the day. And by my leg’s calculation it was approximately 70 degrees, which called for a T-shirt, shorts, and perhaps a light fleece pullover — and I was out the door.
It was the usual Monday routine at Austin High: hills, hills and more hills. But what was about to happen next on the very last hill at the very last peak couldn’t have been timed any more perfect than if I had planned it myself. It was like the calm before the storm: all was quiet then, cue the wind. A few moments later it began to sprinkle and then all hell broke loose. We quickly headed — read: ran — back to Zilker Park in the pouring rain, gusting wind, and a temperature that was quickly and noticeably dropping. By the time we reached our destination the weather was too bad to be out in the open, so we did pushups and other tortuous acts under the Mopac bridge. I was lucky to have brought that pullover because my towel wouldn’t have covered nearly enough of my bare exposed skin without it. That was just Monday, my friends!
Tuesday was off the to the sand volleyball courts, where trainers Marc and Monica took pleasure in every grimace our faces made and every groan and gasp for air that escaped our barely breathing bodies. Thursday was our final day — the best day weather-wise, but the worst day of my life in every other way when it came to boot camp. We ran, we did pushups, and … the Auditorium Shores Suicide with a twist. This time it involved weighted medicine balls and running with them! It was horrible, but I survived.
And, you know what? I’m really glad I did it.
I can definitely see a change in my performance from the first week to now. I’m running faster at the end instead of slowing down, I’m getting in those last few pushups, and I feel great doing it. Well, not at the time, but afterwards I feel really good. And I’ve even signed up for the next boot camp. Call me crazy, but I really do like it.
In all seriousness, I had a great time over the past four weeks and would highly recommend Austin Sports and Social Club’s boot camp to everyone. It would be a great thing to do with co-workers, friends, spouses, or for a little one-on-one time with yourself. If you’re looking for something new and need a push to take you to that next level, then you should definitetly give this a go. Plus you get a T-shirt at the very end!
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