Austin360 blogs > Out & About > Archives > 2009 > December > 24 > Entry
Studying the Staff Holiday Party at Rain
Nineteen years after meeting and marrying Kip, I still haven’t negotiated a completely comfortable new relationship with gay bars. Essential social centers of my young adult years, they are still tinged, for me, with the sexual politics of singledom. Other friends have successfully settled into roles as bar-side observers, or participants in small, specialized subsets of the club crowd.
Stephen Rice, Eric Lewis and Ben Solis Jr.
I actually feel more comfortable in straight clubs, where the sexual tension, at least for a gay man, is absent. I chat — and even flirt demurely — with men and women. It’s all friendly, never edgy. Not so at Oilcan Harry’s, Kiss & Fly, Charlie’s or Rain, where I dropped by the staff holiday party last night. (Rusty Spurs and its sibling, Emerald City, on East Seventh Street, come closest to being regular gay haunts for me. I drop by on my way to and from other events.)
I’ve always really liked Rain, despite its itty bitty dance floor and always overstuffed patio. I’ve just not made it home. Last night, urged on by colleagues, I ran into dear friends such as Michael Kellerman, Stephen Rice and Mark Erwin. And I met strangers. But here’s the rub: Despite the openness of my fellow club patrons, none of the new conversations went anywhere.
Jessica Salinas and James Garza
What does that mean? Were these men and women hanging back, waiting to see where I would take the interchanges? That strategy doesn’t mesh well with my natural shyness. Did they suspect alternate motivations in my conversational openers?
The cranked-up dance music certainly didn’t help. Moving to the quieter front lounge didn’t help, since everyone there huddled in tight clusters, each time I circled through. And the patio crowd, predictably, stood shoulder-to-shoulder.
Cesar Serpas, Shane Hughes and Phil Denson
I’ll probably go to my grave studying the social patterns in gay clubs without really understanding them.
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