Austin360 blogs > Out & About > Archives > 2008 > December > 28 > Entry
Conversational Openers, Part 1
Holidays spent with the extended family can leave one tripping through a conversational minefield. A stray comment can ignite a blast from a normally taciturn cousin (who knew he bet everything on Bernard Madoff?), or a crying jag from a emotionally fragile aunt (“Puffy the Pomeranian actually went to her reward last summer”).
What do you? This is the standard American opener. Because, in this country, we are what we do. The question is not seen as intrusive, like asking about one’s family background or finances, or, worse, one’s political or religious beliefs. A drawback: The question usually elicits an over-rehearsed response. Or an uncomfortable one: “I sex chickens.” Worse still, it can lead to shop talk, should anyone with a similar profession lurk nearby — “Get out! I’m a chicken sexer, too!” Deadly for everyone else.
Where are you from? Useful, especially if you detect an unusual accent. Also, this opener helps broaden the conversation: “So how did your family end up in Ulam Bator?” It’s also pretty safe to assume, while socializing in Austin, that your interlocutor is not actually from here. Once a month, I encounter a native. They introduce themselves with phrases such as “You are speaking to that rarest of species …” or “You’re not going to believe this … no really, it’s not a gag …”
More to come…
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By Allan Baker
December 28, 2008 7:54 PM | Link to this
In one of my plays I have a character...essentially a "trust fund baby"...respond to the opener, "What do you do?" with "About what?". I was very pleased, recently, to, essentially, get that response when I used "What do you do?" as a conversational opener.