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Confessions of a Cluttered Mind
January 12, 2009
Confessions of a Cluttered Mind
Confessions of a Cluttered Mind
- What’s the deal with computers?
- When an NFL studio team says of a coach, “He’s really one of the really good guys in the league,” what does that mean exactly? That the other coaches about whom they don’t say that hire child labor or run dog fights or don’t tithe 10%? Really.
- Bad boys are apparently attractive to women. Bad boys attired in 60s suits who chain smoke, drink, womanize and feel almost no empathy for other human beings are apparently very, very attractive. While I love “Mad Men,” and John Hamm as Don Draper is amazing, is it not just a little disconcerting that Draper, who epitomizes a heartless philanderer, is the center of countless women’s fantasies at present? Maybe I’m just a cuddler.
- Just as with wide receivers scoring touchdowns, shouldn’t actors who win awards “act like they’ve been there before” when receiving recognition? Kate Winslet (who didn’t deserve to beat Anne Hathaway or Merryl Streep), I’m looking at you.
- Mickey Rourke thanking his dogs after (deservedly) winning a Globe for best actor was the ultimate in duality. “Hey, I know I’ve been an ass and almost impossible to stand by or defend … but screw you anyways for bailing on me; this one’s for my dogs.”
- When the announcer at the symphony tells people to unwrap their candy or cough drops before a performance, it’s fine to giggle, but then unwrap the damn things. I know old people love candy, but the acoustics at The Long Center are better for driving me to distraction with constant throat-clearing and plastic crinkling than they are for optimal music enjoyment.
- Why aren’t more kitchens at good restaurants in town open till 11pm? (Not looking at you Starlite or Parkside.)
- I saw “24” for the first time in three years, and I swear nothing changes about that show: Keifer Sutherland’s stern grimace (which I kept trying to replicate sitting on my couch wondering if it was fair that he made millions doing the same bit over and over), foreboding music constantly playing underneath, Tony Alameda refusing to speak in anything but a Dark Knight whisper-growl. And, yes, I think I will DVR the entire season, for some reason.
- Speaking of DVR … I am new to the whole thing, but watched my first DVR’d NFL game of the season (Cardinals v. Panthers) over the weekend, and it was like eating cheese for the first time. How could I have not known about this? How will I ever be able to give it up? Being able to fast forward through commercials and dead balls and inane sideline reports led me to watching an NFL game in its entirety for the first time all season … in just under an hour. I’ll never play fantasy football (or listen to RUSH), but I just may come around on the No Fun League.
- Why is a network like Fox allowed to broadcast college football’s biggest games (BCS) after not broadcasting them all season, leading to the ultimate fish-out-of-water experience? This would be like letting me become the Statesman’s arts critics because I like music and went to the symphony once.
- “Deal or No Deal” is the most idiotic game show on television, and one I’d never seen five second of until last week. But explained and pimped by the right friend, it and its hackneyed participant and friends over-acting and simplistic gaming structure, become a guilty pleasure of a rather high order.
- How can I be in my 33rd year and still not know how to sew a button or iron a shirt, despite being taught both things multiple times over the years. Could a store that only sews buttons exist? You wouldn’t need much space, and the name (Sew Buttons) is obvious and “cute” enough that it seems tailor-made (echem) for the Austin market.
- Why can’t my iPod automatically shut off when I turn off my car? Have I ever turned it off when I get out of my car? Of course not. This leads to constantly charging it in order to get four songs of music out of it. President-elect Obama would not be pleased.
- Is “Wall*E” more overrated than “Juno” or is it the other way around? Impossible to decide.
- Why is it that every time I try I shop for a pair of jeans, they fit me perfectly in the store and then seemingly grow 2” in the waist and 2” in length the second I hit the parking lot? I think I secretly want to be a raver.
- What’s the deal with computers?
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