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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Ron Artest: Gangster savant
Los Angeles Laker (and former Houston Rocket, Sacramento King, Chicago Bull and Indiana Pacer) Ron Artest never ceases to fascinate me. The guy has an unbelievable amount of talent, the ability to play three positions (and would probably be happy to play point guard and center, if asked), and a history as one of the most mercurial players of his generation, both on and off the court. I always want to see what he will do next, and when he was with the Rockets, I would often find myself saying, “No, no, no …. yes!” Eventually, you just have to give in and go along for the Ron Artest ride.
I will never forget the night in 2004 when he went into the stands at The Palace in Auburn Hills, in what has become one of the most infamous nights in NBA history. I remember exactly where I was in my car as I listened to the “The Malice at the Palace” unfold that night. Next to to the time Ralph Sampson hit a series-winning shot in the 1986 NBA Western Conference Finals, it was the most transfixed I’ve ever been to a radio in my lifetime, or ever will be.
Outside of his brawls and buckets, Artest has become known for his predictably unpredictable personality: 1) After becoming a professional basketball player, he applied for a job at Circuit City because he “thought it would be fun. And I had a friend who worked there.” 2) He unknowingly broke two of Michael Jordan’s ribs in a pick-up game. 3) He started a record label, released a rap album and asked for time off to promote his album. 4) He was once suspended one game by the Pacers for smashing a framed picture of himself in Conseco Fieldhouse. 5) In 2006, he told the the New York Post that his New Year’s resolution is to: “Teach math classes in elementary schools throughout the country. And, of course, I want to sell 10 million records.” 6) According to ESPN.com’s Bill Simmons, earlier this year, as a member of the Rockets, he showed up in his underwear late for the last team bus to the Staples Center to play the Lakers in the 2009 playoffs. 7) He has admitted to sipping cognac before his games when he was on the Bulls. 8) He recently appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live in his underwear.
Artest’s comments on his Web site and Twitter feed, much less the quotes he gives to reporters, are often hilarious, insane, touching, ridiculous and priceless all at once. He’s an enigmatic paradox: gentle beast, sensitive gangster, moronic genius, team asset/distraction.
Witness his open “fan letter” to the embattled Tiger Woods.
Dear Tiger, In reading the statements you have made, I can tell you are a stand up guy. Please remember only Jesus is perfect. You made a mistake and you admitted your infidelity. I have made the same mistakes. Before I got married to my wife, I had a baby with another young lady, after I already had two by my girlfriend who is now my wife. We also had another baby which makes three for us and four for me. Two boys and two girls.My wife is a much better wife than I am a husband. We still argue and disagree after being together 16 years. and I still cope with the fact that there are so many women out there and I choose to stay loyal to my wife.
I want to be home every night, but with traveling I can’t, and sometimes I might want to go to a bar or club and be one of the fellas. Most of the time I stay in, because I have my kids and wife.
I cannot sit here and say the thought to have many women has never crossed my mind. If I were Jesus I could. (Ed. note: At first I read this as him saying that if he were Jesus he could have had many women. I was upset when I re-read it.)
I have known my wife for 16 years- since I was 14 years old. She was my first.
On the way to 2010 we had many ups and downs on the way, mostly my fault. But I really choose to work hard and play ball to support her and my kids. The same reason you are building your legacy.
I have been disturbed by this because there are many people who are happy that this bad news has come out.
There are a lot of sports announcers and regular reporters who are not perfect in their own homes, yet they want to bring you down.
You have done so much for people, the sport of golf, and your family and you gave your wife a life that people can’t even dream of.
I thought you were 36 or 37 until I read the news today. A 33-year-old man who has been a model citizen with so much at stake. This is your first publicly known issue since you started your career, compared to my 50 or more publicly known issues and mistakes.
You have been the perfect role model for me and my sons for longer than anyone I have known.With the exception of a few legends.
As your fan, I can’t wait to see you golf again.
And us athletes know how much you personally love your family.
One love,
Ron Artest
This is just a fan mail letter to Tiger Woods fans and indirectly to Tiger himself.
Please, everyone support Tiger in these tough times for his family.Also if you are a sports announcer or regular everyday reporter or blogger please step up like Tiger and tell your wife or husband if you have any skeletons in your closet. Especially if you were one of the few attacking TIGER!!
One Love People
What a legend.
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Your A-List: Best French fries
The winner of this year’s Your A-List poll for best French fries obviously thinks as highly of their fries as you do. How else could you explain the massive statue of fries outside of the Duval Street Hyde Park Bar & Grill, winner with 41 percent of the vote.
Whether getting them as a side to your burger or making a late-night pit stop to soak up the extended happy hour booze, people seem to love Hyde Park’s fries. P. Terry’s and their fresh-cut fries prepared in 100% canola oil made a run at the reigning champ, finishing with 19 percent of the vote.
Others receiving votes: P. Terry’s 19 percent, Top Notch 9 percent, Hut’s 8 percent, Sandy’s 7 percent, Phil’s 4 percent, 219 West 4 percent, Billy’s on Burnet 3 percent, The Tavern 3 percent, Quality Seafood 2 percent
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Your A-List: Best place to hear live music on a weeknight
The much lamented “bygone Austin” can be a bit irritating, but the fact of the matter is, there are still quite a few places that have exactly that vibe. One of them is the Saxon Pub, winner of this year’s Your A-List poll, with 36 percent of the vote.
The regulars at the Saxon are friendly even if they don’t know you, and there’s really no such thing as a stranger there. And with multiple bands playing seven days a week, you never have to worry about checking the calendar to see who’s playing. Every night you’re guaranteed to see some of the best singing and songwriting talents Austin has to offer, and who knows, show up on the right night and you just might find Bonnie Rait or some other international star on the stage, feeling just at home at the Saxon as one of the regulars sitting at the bar.
Others receiving votes: Continental Club 19 percent, Antone’s 12 percent, The Mohawk 9 percent, Cedar Street Courtyard 7 percent, Emo’s 6 percent, Ruta Maya 3 percent, Momo’s 3 percent, Beerland 2 percent, Flamingo Cantina 2 percent
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Your A-List: Best holiday lights display
While I have visited the 37th Street Lights (winner with 43 percent of the vote), I am by no means an expert. Therefore, I asked co-worker Wendy Mitchell to email me a few lines about the street on which she lives. In addition to being a writer and designer, Mitchell is also curator of The Stuffed Animal Rescue Foundation (S.A.R.F.), which is part of the 37th Street holiday fun and a testament to its whimsy and charm.
“Right now, my next-door neighbors have a 30-foot-tall aluminum foil shark on their front lawn. A few doors down, there’s a yard full of gigantic lollipops. It’s kind of like a surrealist art installation — except with lights … and with people actually coming to see it.”
Others receiving votes: Trail of Lights 23 percent, Marble Falls Walkway of Lights 9 percent, Zilker Tree 8 percent, Congress Avenue 5 percent, Santa’s Ranch 3 percent, Downtown Round Rock 3 percent, Christmas Parade of Lights on Lake Travis 2 percent, Texas Capitol grounds 2 percent, The Domain 1 percent
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Your A-List: Best local sports team
Having three major professional sports teams’ affiliates in town (Toros, Stars, Express) is a pretty sweet coup for our little town. But let’s face it, one team reigns supreme here: the University of Texas Longhorns football team, winner of the Your A-List poll, with 48 percent of the vote. Two Heisman Trophy winners (Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams), four national titles (with a possible fifth on the way) and a string of beloved players (Tommy Nobis, Bobby Layne, James Street, Vince Young, Cedric Benson, James Brown, Major Applewhite and Colt McCoy, to name a few) are just part of the enduring legacy of one of the winningest college football teams of all time. Whether you fall in the camp of those who complain that the coach gets paid too much, or are more likely to lose your mind over a local sports columnist not putting one of their own atop his Heisman ballot, it’s safe to say you have an opinion on the Horns. They may not be the only game in now, but they’re certainly the most discussed, beloved and watched.
Others receiving votes: Texas Stars 31 percent, Austin Toros 9 percent, Texas State football 3 percent, Round Rock Express 3 percent, UT men’s basketball 3 percent, UT baseball 1 percent, UT softball 1 percent, UT women’s basketball < 1 percent
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