Home > The M.O. > Archives > 2009 > February > 11 > Entry
If rappers were characters from ‘The Wire’
Apparently I am not the only person who misses “The Wire.” Misses it badly. The folks over at smokingsection.com put together an awesome side-by-side list of rappers and the corresponding characters they could portray on “The Wire.” Below are the comparisons and pics of some of the characters/rappers. My co-worker, Flintstone Chad Swiatecki, and I (with an assist from Statesman music critic Joe Gross) added some of our own annotations in bold. (For the full list from smokingsection, click here.) Disclaimer: If you have not made it through season four, you may not want to check out this list. (Update: I was just sent this other piece of “Wire”-obsessiveness. What if “The Wire” characters were all on a football team together? Brilliant.)
Nas as Avon Barksdale — Okay, so maybe Nas isn’t really a hustler or a gangster. But he is an older figure who has seen more dominant days, finding his way in an environment that may/may not be suited to his tastes any longer. Oh, and he evolved as the opposite of…
A decent comparison, but we’ve got to go with Puffy here. Both are puppet-masters and kingpins. Of course, Puffy isn’t a gangster, but he is definitely a hustler, but not on the level of a kingpin like Stringer Bell/Jay-Z.
Jay-Z as Stringer Bell — The intelligent hustler. Does/did anyone so knee deep in their respective field have a more savvy business sense than these two?
Spot on. Stringer is the coolest cat in the game, ditto Jay-Z.
Andre 3000 as Lester Freamon — These wise vets are intensely cerebral while having a creative outlet that helps them make money while expressing themselves. Both have also expressed discontent or disinterest with the state of their environments.
Andre 3000 may be a little too whimsical for the cerebral Lester Freamon. In this instance, we opt for Q-Tip of Tribe Called Quest. Composed and old-school.
Shyne as Wee-Bey — Down to take a charge for their crews, maybe a little thick-skulled at times, but they know how to keep it real emotionally when the time presents itself. Plus, they’re both still in prison.
Perfect.
Lil’ Wayne as Bodie — Both progressed from bouts of juvenile delinquancy to mature into effective salesmen. Bodie met a tragic ending after some rash decisions, perhaps the same fate awaits Wayne after his foray into rock?
Not a bad choice, but we opted for Sonsee, the least known of the three rappers from Onyx. He seemed hardcore, but made bad choices and never was good enough to go solo.
The Game as Senator Clay Davis — One second he’s your friend, the next he’s your enemy. They may be sly and even slimy with their beef preparation, but they know how to cook that sh** up so it tastes good pause.
What about Russell Simmons here? Respected by many but loathed by some he double-crossed, see: Beastie Boys and Public Enemy. Plus it would be cool to see Simmons and his lisp pull off Davis’s trademark “Sheeeeeit.”
LL Cool J as Cutty — Old veterans who used to be known for their hard-nosed antics, but have now evolved into harmless old men who come across as a little too (radio) friendly.
They also both have an affinity for boxing and are ladies’ men. Perfect.
Rick Ross as Bunk — Kinda chubby? Check. Present or past involvement in law enforcement? That’s a yes.
Gotta go with Dr. Dre here. He may have not been involved in law enforcement, but he has antagonized them and is kinda avuncular like Bunk, but not the kind of uncle you would want to cross.
Da Brat as Snoop — “How my hair look? You look good, girl.”
Da Brat was kinda hard back in the day, but she seems to be sweet at her core. There is nothing sweet about Snoop. Nothing. She may be the hardest woman on the planet. So it is hard to find a better comparison, although my friend Lauren, with a stroke of genius, suggested Born Gangstaz.
50 Cent as Marlo Stanfield — Masters in exaggerated acts of self-promotion for the sake of their own names, these dudes are cold hearted, and not afraid to stoop to any level in their pursuit of power, typically at the embarrassment of their opponents.
Couldn’t be more perfect.
Killer Mike as Omar — Both are killers, have high levels of respect in the trenches, and have a pronounced sense of street justice that is difficult to argue against.
Gotta go with Tupac here for the same reasons. And neither one of them scares.
Now for the rapid-fire edition, courtesy of Swiatecki: Everlast as Herc, DMX as Chris Partlow, Lyor Cohen as Carcetti and Mike D as Pryzbylewski
There are about 10 other comparisons on smokingsection.com, so check ‘em out and debate with yourself and your friends all afternoon.
Permalink | Comments (1) | Post your comment Categories: Music
Comments
Austinites love to be heard, and we're giving you a bullhorn. We just ask that you keep things civil. Leave out the personal attacks. Do not use profanity, ethnic or racial slurs, or take shots at anyone's sexual orientation or religion. If you can't be nice, we reserve the right to remove your material and ban users who violate our Visitor's agreement. Click here to report comment abuse.
By MJ
February 11, 2009 4:57 PM | Link to this
Great list. I’ve got a couple to suggest…
How about ?uestlove as Bunk. Minus the afro of course. Both heavy set with a combination of street smarts and book smarts.
Kanye West as Brother Mouzone. With that bowtie? Come on, he nails it.
Atmosphere as Spiros Vondopoulos. Maybe a bit too high energy for Spiros but something about it works.
Common as the newspaper editor Gus Haynes. Sharp and a bit condescending but full of good intentions.
KRS-One as Proposition Joe. Both always have something to say and both fat dudes right?
Big Boi from Outkast as Omar. Tough to top your 2-Pac choice but this could be a close second place. Both measured, articulate with a southern draw and gangster as hell.
Eazy E as Bubbles. Both crack heads, a natural choice. I know that Ben Harper isn’t a rapper but feel like he could work well here too.
Check that - Bobby Brown IS Bubbles.
Missy Elliot as Zenobia. Just because I miss Missy Elliot. oh-ah. sockit to me like you want me to-oh.
Fat Joe as Frank Sobotka Coolio as Slim Charles Wyclef as Randy Lauren Hill as Kema Greggs Pharrell as Sgt. Carver
Man I miss that show. This is fun, I could go on…