Austin360 blogs > Miss Adventure > Archives > 2006 > November > 13 > Entry
Duck, duck, GOOSE.
My Goodness, how hard can it possibly be to find a goose in this town?! All I want for my thanksgiving dinner is to find a goose, cook the ever-living daylights out of it and serve it on a big ole platter surrounded by various forms of carbohydrates and seasonally appropriate vegetables. So I call Central Market, which carries every thing under the sun (except for maple sugar, because God forbid I be able to make pumpkin profiteroles in maple caramel without a Indiana Jones/Last Crusade-style quest through the grocers of this fine hamlet) and they have no goose. They have poussin, capon, pheasants and two different sorts of duck, but no goose. Capon? I mean, I love a rooster that sings soprano as much as the next gal, but give me a break. Plus, it’s not like geese are hard to come by in the wild. I can barely drive to work in the morning without waiting for some stupid gander to waddle its way across Riverside Drive. I bet I could reach out, grab one and not even impede the flow of traffic.
So it was down to Whole Foods. I don’t like Whole Foods. It scares me. In fact, the last time I went to Whole Foods was before the big Fritz Lang looking one opened up and it was only to get the maple sugar, which cost not just an arm and a leg, but also the healthier of my two kidneys —the one I was saving for my grandfather, who’s been working with just one for nearly 50 years after one kidney was “shot out in Okinawa” (“shot out in Okinawa” I was later to find out, was code for “never existed in the first place.”)
Thankfully, much like the Russian mafia and James Caan’s character in the Great Escape Whole Foods was able to work their Mephistophelian granola magic and order a goose for me for the low, low price of $5.99 a pound.
Next year it’s a slow drive-by on Town Lake … and I’m bringing a net.
Permalink | Comments (5) | Post your comment | Categories: By Rhiannon Gammill
Comments
By Chad
November 15, 2006 09:56 PM | Link to this
It may be late in the game, but had you considered hitting one of the local farmer's markets? Maybe no goose on premises, but it might be worth asking one of the purveyors of free-range-vegetarian-fed, holistically massaged, pranha-yoga limbered, humanely euthanized-by-having-James-Carville-analyses-of-lesser-Democratic -races-force-read-to-it chickens. They might know somebody willing to hook you up with a goose, and maybe take a gander. woo woo!
By Laurie G - The Amelie Wannabe
November 15, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this
Here's my least favorite aspect of Whole Foods: the hipper than thou shoppers wearing $300 flax and/or linen pants that want you to think they bought their clothing at some funky little flea market or Goodwill. The attempt to be inconspicuous with their wealth only makes them appear that much richer; I'm loaded so I can dress like I'm destitute.
By Laurie
November 15, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this
Here's my least favorite aspect of Whole Foods: the hipper than thou shoppers wearing $300 flax and/or linen pants that want you to think they bought their clothing at some funky little flea market or Goodwill. The attempt to be inconspicuous with their wealth only makes them appear that much richer; I'm loaded so I can dress like I'm destitute.
By Katiebug
November 13, 2006 11:05 PM | Link to this
Every time I walk into Whole Foods I am tempted to buy $10 organic lavender/mint/tangerine/sea breeze/rosehip scented soap. I don't even use soap! I use bodywash! And yet I must buy them. I feel Whole Foods slips compulsive drugs in their air circulation system. Really.
Glad you managed to escape (relatively) intact!
By Moonbeam
November 13, 2006 09:46 PM | Link to this
Dude- forget the net. Use the Dirty Harry gun.