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Potty training
October 14, 2011
Pay for perfomance (i.e. potty training bribes)
Among the many stories already in my arsenal with which to embarrass my children is now this: I potty trained my youngest daughter with an iPad.
No, there isn’t an app for that — yet. But, wow, do electronic gadgets make great parental bribes.
We are on Day 5 of the toddler being accident free. And in all honesty, most of the process has been extremely old school, rather than high tech.
Elizabeth, age 2, started showing interest in this whole potty business a few months before her birthday. She’s got an older sister to watch, so she definitely had the right idea. But knowing what is supposed to happen and making it happen are not the same thing, especially when you are talking about a toddler’s bladder.
We did naked baby training — which I stopped after a few weekends of hovering and panicking every time she sat on my couch. But one day at a restaurant she informed her dad that she had to “go potty” and he sat her on the toilet at Jimmy John’s and she did her business.
So, we started putting her in cloth training pants on the weekend. Success was moderate. We still had to remind her every hour to go potty and even then sometimes she’d say no, just to pee through her clothes five minutes later.
Unlike my older daughter who also potty trained shortly after turning 2, Elizabeth did not seem to be bothered by dirty diapers or dirty underwear. She also gave very few classic signs that she was about to poop. No grimacing, no hiding, no squatting. She be standing there playing with her trains and the next thing you know her pants would sag and then you’d smell it. So every day I was washing soiled clothes at night, sometimes more than one set.
Because of the ongoing poop problem, we stuck with pull ups for day care, but quickly realized they were getting in the way. She’d come off an almost successful weekend only to start peeing at will in her pull up by Tuesday. Even her teacher agreed that it was time to get radical — cotton underwear all the time except while sleeping.
Well, it worked. She’s been fairly reliably dry for a few weeks now (we still have to remember to send her every couple of hours), and after I bribed her with the iPad she is now pooping fairly reliably as well. (Stickers and high praise were not effective. I didn’t do M & Ms because I have issues with rewarding good behavior with food. A promise of 10 minutes, sister-free with the iPad if she put her poop in the potty, worked like a charm and I haven’t had to offer it after the first two days. Thank you, Steve Jobs, RIP.)
A lot of parents resort to bribes to get kids past that last obstacle to diaper-free living. Stuffed animals, stickers, candy, promises of Dora-decorated underwear. The training books even have a term for it “Finding Your Child’s Currency.”
I fully expect that know I’ve told the entire city that I’ve potty trained my toddler that she will regress this weekend, and make me pay dearly for it (and probably publicly.) But for now I claim success.
What worked for you?
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December 21, 2009
Boys, urinals and target practice
Anyone who has boys in their house knows that keeping the bathroom clean, especially around the toilet, can be mission impossible.
Males, big and small, are notorious for their bad aim in their toileting habits. So this piece from NPR this weekend made me chuckle, and I thought I would pass along this scientifically verified method to get the men in your house to improve their aim.
Put a fly in your toilet.
Apparently the stick-on decals and porcelain-etched fly designs are popping up all over the place in public bathrooms around the world. And it’s not a prank, it’s an effort at hygiene control.
There has been a worldwide proliferation of urinal flies, observed May Berenbaum, head of the department of entomology at the University of Illinois in her new book The Earwig’s Tail. Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein also noted the spread in their book Nudge. “They’ve been spotted in Moscow, Singapore,” Thaler says. He thinks he knows why. The presence of a fly in a urinal literally changes human behavior, he thinks — or at least the behavior of human males. “Apparently,” Berenbaum says, in males, “there is a deep-seated instinct to aim at targets,” and having a fly to aim at reduces what she politely calls “human spillage.”
Any mom has heard about, if not tried, the Cheerio trick with their boys. Well apparently it works with big boys too, with researchers reporting bathroom are 80 percent cleaner if the urinals or toilets have the little buggy decorations.
Want your own urinal fly? Go to www.urinalfly.com.
Photo: www.urinalfly.com
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August 4, 2009
Recession, potty training and Pull-ups
Who knew there would be a time when Pull-Ups and other disposable training pants for toddlers would become luxury items?
It seems with the recession on, sales of disposable training pants have taken a hit. Parents, looking for ways to save money, are going to back to cloth training pants that fell largely out of favor with the introduction of pull-up style diapers, according to this Associated Press article.
Bonus: Faster potty training.
We are in the midst of potty training our 2-year-old, and are taking what I hope is a method that splits the difference. Since I’m working full-time, going cold turkey to cloth underwear would send my day care center into convulsions since Ayanna won’t tell anyone she needs to go until after the fact.
But we are practicing with cloth at home and using generic disposable trainers at night. We had our first dry day on Sunday, so I’m hopeful we can make the switch at daycare soon. Complicating matters is the fact that No. 2’s arrival is now looming and all the literature says not to train close to the new baby.
Well, my daughter figured out how to pee in the potty about a month and a half ago. It seemed unwise to let the window pass without doing something, although that has also factored into our decision to not make a federal case about the switch to cloth (Although I still aspire to only have one kid in diapers, but I’m not counting on it.)
My biggest problem with the disposables, aside from the cost, is that they are too darn cute. Ayanna is under the impression right now that her pink nighttime disposable trainers with Cinderella on them are “better” than underwear. (Do not get me started on my thoughts about “princess-wear.”) So, she requests them repeatedly throughout the day, and I have to tell her “only at night.”
So I may have to make them disappear entirely and pray that she can figure out how to stay dry at night, for her sake and my sanity. I don’t object to changing soaked sheets, but I do like what little sleep I get these days.
Has the economy affected your plans to toilet train your toddler?
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March 3, 2009
Potty-training advice for a grandma
A colleague of mine e-mailed me seeking advice. Her 2-year-old grandson isn’t quiet getting the potty-training thing, but what he is good at is overflowing Pull-Ups at night. She’s tired of changing sheets and pjs.
I suggested rubber sheets and diapers at night instead of Pull-Ups. I also suggested that sometimes boys aren’t ready at 2.
What advice can you give her?
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November 25, 2008
Dabbling with potty training
Signs of readiness. That’s what all the books say about potty training. Look for signs of readiness.
Of course this is also what they told me when it came to introducing solids. I suppose we navigated that one O.K. — although we started at four months instead of six, because Ayanna kept yelling at me every time I took a bite. She seemed ready. I certainly thought I was.
I learned then that early milestones are a mixed blessing. Suddenly meals became much more complicated. There was chopping and mixing to be done, and then there was the mess.
So now we are dabbling with potty training. She’s just about 18 months and I’m the first to concede that it seems a tad on the early side. The potty has been in the bathroom for months (the top folds down and serves as an adult bench for bath time).
She will sit when we sit. She loves to flush the toilet. She’s dry almost every morning after 11 hours, and I can’t even do that at 34. She loves the potty book “Once Upon a Potty.”
Signs of readiness? Maybe.
So we took the diaper off over the weekend, mostly to see what she would do. If you ask if she has to go to the potty, she will march straight for the bathroom. There is a lot of sitting and standing. Then there is wandering around the bathroom trying to find her diaper and then an accident as she’s handing me the diaper.
Thank God for tile, because ready or not this part is going to be messy.
Image: Child Matters
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November 3, 2008
Potty-training: Top reason for child abuse
I mention occasionally that I have a dual role here at the Statesman. I write about parenting, but I’m also an assistant metro editor.
One of my least favorite parts of the metro job is reading affidavits and certain crime stories, particularly as it relates to children. I see all the gory details, and sometimes I wish I hadn’t. It was hard before I became a mom, and now, with a 17-month-old at home, it is even harder.
Today is one of those cases. With a report from Williamson County about yet another case of alleged child abuse. Police say that a 23-year-old man beat and injured a 1-year-old with a belt, because the little boy had wet himself that day and the mother’s boyfriend was trying to potty train him.
The child was taken to Dell Children’s Hospital for medical evaluation and treatment, according to the affidavit. The child had injuries on his back, stomach and face. The mother told police the beating lasted for about five minutes, according to the affidavit.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, more abuse occurs during toilet training than during any other developmental step. The reason:
Parents’ expectations often exceed the child’s abilities or understanding, and the child’s frustrations and imperfect attempts at self-control are easily mistaken for willful disobedience.
That is one of the reasons that experts say that parents should look to signs of readiness rather than hone in on a specific age to potty train. Some kids can do it before 18 months. Others may take much longer, with many studies showing that kids, especially boys, may not have biological control over elimination until age 3.
Here are the signs they list as to whether a child is ready to start toilet training:
- Your child stays dry at least two hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps.
- Bowel movements become regular and predictable.
- Facial expressions, posture or words reveal that your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement.
- Your child can follow simple instructions.
- Your child can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress.
- Your child seems uncomfortable with soiled diapers and wants to be changed.
- Your child asks to use the toilet or potty chair.
- Your child asks to wear grown-up underwear.
And even if children exhibit all the signs, accidents are sure to happen.
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October 30, 2008
Let's start this potty
New in the world of potty training: ‘The Potty Caddy,” from Rachel Gordon, Sarah Bermann and Dr. William Spivak. For $14.95, you get a box of fun: A book about potty training for you, four magazines for them, a potty chart and stickers, 100 toilet targets (take aim, young son), and … wait for it … a roll of toilet paper.
Do kids really need all that? I’ve known parents who do the one M&M for No. 1, five M&Ms for No. 2 or stickers or reward points for a toy kids want.
For us, we didn’t reward. We celebrated. And we had two very different kids and used two different tactics. My son was secretly using the potty at school but claimed no knowledge of it when he was at home. The weeks before his third birthday we started a countdown to “No more diapers.” Then on his birthday (which was on a weekend), we removed the diaper, put on big-kid underwear, and never looked back. The portable toilet lived in our living room for two weeks. We clapped every time there was success. We changed a lot of pants and underwear. He reluctantly went along with it because we didn’t give him a choice. We didn’t buy any more diapers, and he didn’t want to sit around in wet underwear. By two weeks, he was hardly ever having accidents and he proudly showed off his underwear.
For my daughter, it was easier, but took longer. She decided the day after a big purchase of diapers at Costco, that she was not going to wear diapers any more. She had just turned 2. This meant that we had to run out and get the big-girl underwear and find the potty in the garage. She had a lot more accidents because her body probably wasn’t as ready as her brain. She did it on her terms, but we didn’t go back to diapers or even Pull-ups.
What have you done that worked?
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September 11, 2007
Last potty training blog ... really
Don’t read this if you have a weak stomach. I mean it, I am warning you.
So I came to a point where all of JP’s underwear were either in the laundry or at school as extras. I stubbornly refused to put a pull-up on him. We have been successful in the naked-from-waist-down-at-home potty training style so far.
I was in the kitchen making lunch and I heard “Mommy, I have to go potty!” Great! I run in and to my surprise he meant to say was “Mommy I went potty.” There was a little pile on the floor behind my sheepish child.
“Don’t move!” I said as I started to rush to the kitchen for paper towels. I didn’t want JP accidentally stepping in it and making more of a mess.
I passed Gatsby, our 90-pound dog, heading toward the scene of the crime. Our other dog Daisy was close behind.
“Don’t let the Gatsby near you,” I shouted, knowing the dog’s affections for things that smell bad. He’d either roll in it or eat it.
I came back with the paper towels and disinfectant. There was nothing there but a confused child and a dog wagging his tail. I swear if Daisy could have tattled she would have. Fighting back the urge to throw up, I threw the dogs outside with a full bowl of water. ACK!! They were banished until dinner time. I cleaned the floor and went to find a pull-up.
Since then we have had more accidents, but yesterday at day care, he made it through the whole day without any. I am so excited!! We are so close, so very close.
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September 4, 2007
Lots of laundry
Or another segment in my potty training tales of woe.
I thought this long Labor Day weekend would be a great opportunity to work on the potty training thing. JP is not yet 3 but the only one in his class who is not potty trained. There is some pressure but perhaps it is self-inflicted.
It started out badly on Saturday. So badly, in fact, that I got the Spot-Bot carpet cleaner out of the closet and kept it out. I decided to keep him in underwear all weekend. I did not want the crutch of the pull-up. My child who usually has one solid waste elimination a day had three. None on them were in the toilet.
Every time he had an accident he would cry that he wanted Daddy, who was out of town on business. I am not sure how Daddy could have helped him go potty better but I am willing to see.
By Saturday afternoon, I decided that underwear was over-rated and he just ran around naked from the waist down. That was successful.
By Monday evening he had liquid elimination in the potty down. He knows when to go and can get there in time, mostly. He does prefer the small kid-sized potty over the adult one.
I would love to know any tricks or hints for potty success. I know not to make him feel bad or ashamed for his accidents. How long does this take?
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