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Couple time
March 6, 2009
Are you Mad at Dad?
First it was a Parenting article in January, then a New York Times blogger, now an Associated Press story.
All indicated that even in this world of more gender equality, women are frustrated that their husbands don’t pick up more of the parenting and household slack.
A Mom’s Connection survey by author Martha Brockenbrough found that:
46 percent of respondents “get irate with their husbands once a week or more,” Brockenbrough writes. “Those with kids younger than 1 are even more likely to be mad that often (54 percent). About half of the moms describe their anger as intense but passing; 1 in 10 say it’s ‘deep and long-lasting.’ “
44 percent “peeved”that their partners “often don’t notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids,” a percentage that rises to 54 percent among mothers with three or more children.
40 percent say they “are also angry that their husbands seem clueless about the best way to take care of kids.”
40 percent “are mad that Dad can’t multitask.” Among those with three or more children, the anger rises here as well, to 46 percent.
31 percent say the get little or no “help” from their husbands with chores. “In fact,” Brockenbrough says, the women think the men “generate more” work for the wives to do.
33 percent say their husbands “aren’t shouldering equal responsibility and are less concerned than they are about their children’s basic needs, like nutrition and clothing.” For mothers of three or more children that number rises to 41 percent.
Nearly one-third “complain that parenthood has changed their lives more than their husbands’ “
One-quarter feel that they spends “more mental energy on parenting than dads do.”
50 percent of respondents say “their husbands get more time for themselves. The lack of time off is a huge issue for the moms carrying the most anger. More than 60 percent of the moms who get mad weekly — and almost three-quarters of those who are angry every day — feel this way.”
In our house, my husband is actually with the kids more hours of the day, but I do all the organizing. Permission slips need signing? That’s all me. Dog needs her medicine? Me. Real groceries, not just a can of chili, purchased? Me, me, me.
I still get mad that somehow the dishes can’t go from the sink to the dishwasher, the clothes don’t get taken from the washer to the dryer, and that I come home at 6:30 and no one’s been fed. But I’ve learned to accept that miracles aren’t going to happen.
So, are you Mad at Dad? What did he do? What didn’t he do?
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December 8, 2008
Date night lesson: Buy ahead
We’re still getting the hang of executing a successful date night.
It’s been so long since we’ve been out regularly on the weekends, we’ve forgotten that things like reservations or early ticket purchases are a good idea on Saturday nights.
In our pre-child days, if we wanted to go see a movie, we’d take in an afternoon show or go on some week night. My husband and I are not much for crowds or lines, and avoid them if we can.
At any rate, we’ve been dying to see “Quantum of Solace,” the new James Bond flick. We checked times at the Alamo, lined up a sitter and left 45 minutes early.
The line wasn’t too bad, but then the cashier stepped out of the booth to cross out the 7:20 p.m. show. Audible groans. We started pondering our options. We did not have a Plan B.
Then a couple walked out of the lobby, stopped five feet away from us and offered to sell their tickets to the sold out show, because their friends had bailed on them.
Dave seemed uncertain. “Should we take them?”
“Yes, for the love of God!” I exclaimed. “We have a babysitter tonight!”
Chuckles from the rest of the line and a knowing nod from one woman, whom I suspect also had a sitter at home. We handed over $20 — the sellers netted about $3 on the transaction — and date night was not derailed.
Note to self: Next time buy tickets online.
Photo: Sony
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