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When is pickiness a problem?
Julian still remembers the time he almost choked on one of those lime after-dinner mints.
He might have only been two-and-a-half, but it was traumatic enough for the event to be ingrained in both our memories.
My husband, Ian, doesn’t remember the exact moment in his childhood when dinnertime became a stressful affair, but to this day, he’s too anxious to eat if there are a bunch of people around or if there’s any drama in the hour or so before it’s time to eat.
It’s no wonder so many of us have issues with food: eating too much of it, not eating enough, only eating certain things, etc. In today’s food section, I have a story that touches on some of the many aspects of pickiness, which blurs into the realm of eating disorders more frequently than you might think.
The problem is, few in the medical community have treated severe pickiness seriously until recently. For the past year or so, researchers with Duke University have been collecting data in an online survey about adult finicky eaters, and a TLC show called “Freaky Eaters” has helped raise awareness about certain disorders in adults, but with kids, it’s harder to tell what’s normal finicky eating and what’s not. Many times, extreme pickiness in children can indicate a more serious sensory or mental disorder that can be treated through occupational, speech or other therapy.
The next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is slated to come out in 2013, will likely contain about a half a dozen eating and feeding disorders, including sensory food aversion and post-traumatic feeding disorder, which could be triggered by a near-choking like Julian had or other traumatic experience like being physically abused after refusing to eat a certain food.
Just because the DSM acknowledges these disorders doesn’t mean that the general public will, but it’s a good first step. Too often, parents (and even well-intentioned grandparents, friends and family doctors) insist on going to extremes: Either making kids sit at the dinner table until they clear their plate or becoming a short order cook and serving the same chicken nuggets or pizza at every meal.
Neither approach helps kids get over their pickiness, experts say. In fact, you can be causing more long-term harm than good, which is what I suspect happened with Ian. (He’s always been a skinny guy, so he still gets teased at family gatherings for his weight and for not eating more. No wonder he doesn’t want to eat around others.)
When I started researching this story, a number of people pointed me to Lea Gebhardt, a registered and licensed dietitian with Nutrition Therapy for Kids. Lea has a number of techniques to help kids overcome their fear of trying new things, including a learning plate, which encourages kids to explore food, not necessarily eat it.
Without the pressure to actually put the food in their mouths, kids can become more familiar with the food, even if it’s just looking at it. Then, they might get the courage to smell it, touch it, kiss it or lick it, all baby steps toward actually putting the food in their mouth to chew it.
Just like everyone has a preference when it comes to movies, music, clothes, hobbies, etc., it’s natural that we’ll have food preferences, too. It’s possible to have a healthy dislike of certain foods, especially if you continue to try new foods, including the ones you’ve always struggled with (for me, it’s celery and green bell peppers). If your eating habits interfere with your interpersonal or even business relationships, like they did with PickyEatingAdults.com founder Bob Krause, it might be time to start a conversation with your doctor.
Photos from “Freaky Eaters” and Lea Gebhardt.
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