Austin360 blogs > Digital Savant > Archives > 2010 > May > 14 > Entry
Tribes
Having a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old at home is the best excuse you can have if you’re someone who doesn’t like to go out and be among people. (Grown-up people, I mean.)
But if you’re someone who’s become accustomed to being part of a community, of connecting the threads of your life with others, starting online and picking up “In Real Life,” it takes a lot of work to stay in that loop. I’m trying.
I’ve been able to attend the last two Big (Naughty Word) Twitter Happy Hours (or “BATHH”), at least for a short bit before I rush home to face the highway and head home.
The happy hours are not unique; Door 64 and Austin High Tech Happy Hour are still going strong and events like Austin Social Media Club continue to attract a crowd month after month.
Last night’s BATHH featured the things we’ve come to expect from the events thrown by Lani and Benn Rosales of Agent Genius. Annie Ray shot photos, lots of people showed up, and the business networking took a back seat to people simply catching up and being social.
At least that’s how the BATHHs have felt for me. I’ve been on Twitter for three years (Facebook about the same) and in that first year, I met a lot of Austin people who became great information sources. In the second year, I began to feel like I knew some of my Twitter and Facebook friends, especially the ones living in Austin, very well. And in this third year, I’ve stopped resisting the impulse to call the people I associate with online what they are: friends.
In my business, if there’s a chance that I might quote someone in a story or call upon them as an expert source, the wall goes up. But the people I knew I’d find at last night’s happy hour weren’t just names on business cards or contacts in my iPhone. They’re the people who ask how my daughters are doing and who like to compare notes about favorite video games, TV shows or movies. They’re people who share ridiculous cat videos with me and who, without hesitation, tell me about a secret job interview they just had, a divorce they’re going through or a health problem that they’re reluctant to post about online.
Last August, I complained that maybe the Austin happy hour tech scene was getting a little crowded, but maybe others are having the same experience I am — the online bonds we’ve spent hours, weeks, months developing have blossomed into real-life relationships. Maybe they’re not all deep friendships — sometimes the only place I see some of these friends is at the monthly happy hours — but they certainly feel real to me. In real life we try to catch up, and online we catch up on the threads we might have missed. Sometimes, face-to-face, we ask about an incident that happened online, trying to get the background and the context we couldn’t piece together through Tweets and blog posts.
A few months ago, when I came back from paternity leave, one of the things i resolved to do was to try to reach out more and nurture the closer friendships that I saw were developing. I’ve tried to do it with a few informal lunches, an after-work meet-up here and there. My schedule makes it hard, but one of the things I missed the most when I was away from work for those weeks was that sense of belonging to a group.
I felt like a tribe was forming. I feel like it’s still forming.
I’m not sure where something like this goes and whether it can thrive through monthly meet-ups, but I know that I’ve come to value it and to look forward to seeing these friends (and, always, meeting new people).
Do you have an online/real-life tribe? How did it happen?
Programming note: I’m on vacation next week, returning on May 24. Unless there’s some major news that goes down, Digital Savant won’t be updated until then.
Permalink | Comments (4) | Post your comment Categories: Austin, Baby-daddy, Internet
Comments
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By Christina Jones
May 15, 2010 10:38 PM | Link to this
I kind of wish Twitter, BATHHs and the like existed 10-15 years ago. I've been in Austin 15 years and for the first 10 years I kind lived in a shell, mostly hanging out with (then) work peeps.I'm now really enjoying meeting new people even if our first introduction comes through online outlets like facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter.
By kerissa
May 15, 2010 7:49 PM | Link to this
I absolutely have an online tribe. It started with the Cherrypeel party in August, where I distinctly remember introducing myself as my Twitter name for the first time. "Hi, I'm wornwhite." "OHHH I KNOW YOU."
Thus an online explosion happened for me. Through Twitter alone, I have met almost the entirety of the people I hang out with now. And they are that: friends. We even have a hashtag to represent ourselves, so that mass texting never becomes an issue. If the hashtag shows up in a tweet, you're invited. You are welcome to show up (as is anyone really).
It feels like something that should happen to teenagers, but we are all grown adults, with real jobs and things of that nature.
Without this online tribe that I met, I probably would have left Austin this summer. So anytime anyone puts down meeting people IRL from the Twitter or FB, I have a lot of things to say in favor of doing it.
By Lani Rosales
May 15, 2010 7:41 PM | Link to this
Omar, I feel the same way. I was once reluctant to call the people inside my computer "friends," but now I spend more time with friends from the web than I do old school friends.
Handling a family, two businesses, health issues, #bathh, etc. etc. is tough but the few hours every month spent with you and other people I've met through the web is always worth the drive. I love that the #bathh scene has shifted and none of us talk much about work, but the referrals still come because we're trying to become friends first.
I suppose my other life tribe comes through interaction with my faith life- I've created very strong bonds with people that have gone through CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish, a Catholic weekend retreat) that have lasted through the years.
Thank you for the post and for being a good friend to your city.
By jessica
May 15, 2010 2:01 AM | Link to this
Thank you - this is a really nice piece.
Yes, I do have an online/real-life tribe. These are friends that I have made through SXSW Interactive. Some of them I've known a decade, or near it. Many of them I only get to see once a year during sxsw - but we keep up throughout the year via twitter and flickr and tumblr, etc.
They've watched my kid grow from Kindergarten to High School. We've been there, at least virtually (and sometimes more), through births, deaths, marriages and divorces.
We lost one of our tribe earlier this year, Brad Graham. It was very painful. VERY painful. We all know that these are real people behind their screen names and avatars, but it really hits home and leaves a hole in your heart to feel that true loss.
I've made friends, true friends because of this series of tubes, we geeks call teh intarwebz.