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Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Idols are ‘Stayin’ Alive’ … barely
What a freakin’ mess.
Who in the world thought it was a good idea to have a Bee Gees night on “American Idol”? (Click here for video.)
Making matters worse: Each contestant “treated” us to two performances. Gag!
Round 1
Melinda Doolittle: “Love You Inside and Out.” Let’s be honest: It’s not that great of a song to begin with. But Melinda tried her darnedest to make something of it. For that, we give her credit. The performance was solid, but not that memorable. This late in the game, that’s not good. Not good at all. Simon: “You are better than that.” Our grade: B
Blake Lewis: “You Should Be Dancing.” Gender-bending, anyone? We’re pretty sure that freaky, high-pitched voice — which we’ve never heard before and will, hopefully, never hear again — shattered a glass or two. Possibly even a plasma TV. Blake looked like he was having a ton of fun but we just weren’t digging it. Even with the addition of a smidge of beat boxing. Randy: “Sometimes when you do the beat boxing, it works. Tonight it didn’t work. That song didn’t need any of that.” Our grade: B-
LaKisha Jones: “Stayin’ Alive.” This is the song everyone should’ve fought to sing. LaKisha was smart to pick it. Loved how she worked the stage. Performance oozed attitude. This is the LaKisha we know and love from earlier this season. You go, girl. Simon: “The performance was verging on scary in parts.” Our grade: A
Jordin Sparks: “To Love Somebody.” The good: Jordin looks stunningly beautiful tonight. The bad: Her performance, like the others so far, lacks that certain something. Very subdued — and very vanilla. Randy: “Jordin, so far you’re winning tonight. You’re in it to win it.” Our grade: B+
Round 2
Melinda Doolittle: “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?” A few moments that made us smile but, again, quite bland overall. Vocals were — and always are — flawless. Melinda has nailed every single performance all season long. Tonight, however, has been rough. Randy: “You’re our resident pro. You know you’ve got it going on.” Our grade: B+
Blake Lewis: “This is Where I Came In.” We’re pretty sure that’s the only sweater Blake owns. Maybe he can afford another one if he wins. Lots of energy. A great voice. But it’s an obscure song — for a reason. Even Barry Gibb was surprised Blake picked it. Paula: “Blake you are the contemporary rebel in this competition. I don’t know that song, but I do know I enjoyed you singing it.” Our grade: A-
LaKisha Jones: “Run to Me.” It appears the producers — and contestants — have forgotten “Idol’s” target demographic. These songs may go over well at this weekend’s VFW dance, but teens, 20- and 30-somethings aren’t about to rush out and pick up a Bee Gees CD. Instead of getting us up on our feet, LaKisha and others are putting us to sleep. A slight case of puberty voice near the end made things mildly interesting. Simon: “It was better than the first song, but it still wasn’t great.” Our grade: B
Jordin Sparks: “A Woman in Love.” The night’s best performance — but that’s not saying much. Great looks, great voice. Still, we’ve seen better from her. Simon: “I thought it was old-fashioned and very pageanty. You’re 17, Jordin!” Our grade: A
Honestly, we have no idea which “Idol” America will boot based on these performances. They were incredibly horrid for this late in the season. But we continue to believe LaKisha is the weakest of the remaining four, so our money’s on her. Disagree? Let us know. And be sure to vote in our poll.
And a quick note to Barry: Lay off the man-tan. Seriously, you look ridiculous.
The next person to go will be …
[an error occurred while processing this directive]Kelly Clarkson’s new album: Trash or treasure?
The show must go on for Kelly Clarkson.
The original “American Idol” still plans to release her new album this summer — despite published reports that RCA president Clive Davis wasn’t too impressed with “My December.”
And that’s putting things mildly. Some sites even suggested the entire album — Clarkson’s third — would be scrapped.
“Clive was absolutely merciless in his criticism of Kelly,” an insider told London’s Daily Star. “She’s one of the biggest priorities on the label and her new songs were savaged.”
Hours after that story hit the Web, RCA issued a news release insisting things were still on track for a July 24 release. And, in fact, you can already hear the first single, “Never Again,” on a handful of Austin radio stations.
So, much ado about nothing? Looks like we’ll find out in a few months.
Idol chatter …
- Tamyra Gray, a fan favorite from “Idol’s” first season, has landed a spot on Broadway.
Look for her in “Rent” beginning May 29.
This won’t be Tamyra’s first acting gig. She’s popped up on a number of TV shows, and also starred in the Broadway production of “Bombay Dreams” a few years back.
- Another “Idol” alum has also landed a plumb role: Constantine Maroulis joins the cast of “The Bold and the Beautiful” next week.
CBS isn’t divulging much, but we do know Constantine will stick around for a few months and, yes, he will sing a song or two.
Ladies, start your swooning.
