Austin360 blogs > Almost Urban > Archives > 2007 > August > 06
Monday, August 6, 2007
‘Making the Band 4’: Satisfying cuts deferred by silly promotional scheme
(humming nostalgically) “So we’ve come to the end of the ro-ad….” Yep, this is it, the season finale. The top crooners went on a two-month sabbatical and now they’re coming back for the final cut. I’d call it judgment day, but the whole Diddy-as-God thing is way too indulgent. It’s time to pick my own dream team. After last week’s blistering performance, the obvious sleeper pick is Robert. With June’s meddling, or her support, he’s in, all the way in. I’ve gotta grab Big Mike too— beyond the whole weight loss dedication thing, he’s such a naturally charismatic personality and he was dropping hot vocal tracks last week too. After that, it’s got to be man my Brian A. Yes, I’m giving him 50 bonus points for being from Houston, but beyond that he’s been consistently charming and positive, and once again, the boy can sing.
Those are the easy picks for me. I get stuck on No. 4. The obvious marketing move is to throw in Donnie, the last white man standing, but I just can’t quite get past the goofy dance moves. The kid’s got great enthusiasm, but he seems to struggle so hard to get the soul thing. Qwannell is the top dancer of the group, but I don’t remember being moved by his voice. I’m not at all convinced about the haircut, but Deangelo has been a solid performer, and Willie’s a tough contender too. I’m officially undecided.
Diddy drops in from the jump to let us know this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. “We’re gonna make a band!” he declares.
We catch up with our crooners in the airport where they jovially reunite and compare training notes from the break. In a conspicuously perfect moment for allegedly unscripted TV, everyone happens to be waiting expectantly at baggage claim when Mike shows up sporting a slimmer physique. They rib him good-naturedly, and it’s hugs and pounds all around.
Back in New York, they return to the amphitheater from Episode 1 where Bivins reminds them of the journey they’ve undertaken. Now it’s down to the wire. He warns the crooners that the “one area that everyone’s not built for” is live performance, and in 48 hours they will be opening for New Edition.
Next they are off to Ankh Ra, who gives them Diddy-determined group assignments and begins coaching up a storm as each group takes stabs at the “MTB4” theme song.
In a brief cut, Qwannell makes it clear he’s not happy with the way he’s been assigned.
Group A, consisting of Willie, Robert, Brian H., Deangelo and Jeremy, suavely dub themselves FLO, For Ladies Only. Group B, consisting of Qwannell, Donnie, Dyshon, Brian A. and Big Mike, picks the much less fly name Fifth City.
Diddy drops in to let us know that “his greatest gift to anyone would be a chance to perform in front of a sold-out audience of people.” Our crooners arrive and are visibly moved as they enter the historic Beacon Theater. With Bivens’ prompting, they chunk up the fours.
Incidentally, expect the “MTB4” theme song to emerge as a label-pushed single and ringtone any minute now.
The two groups take the stage, and while both are a little shaky, FLO definitely comes with the more cohesive stage show. They take the audience participation award. Backstage, everyone’s adrenaline is high — they’ve got that performance buzz.
Qwannell lets us know that he doesn’t care that his team lost the challenge, chalking FLO’s victory up to Willie baring his well-toned abs. Donnie threatens to flash his own abs next time to settle the score. No!
Our boys go into one-on-one sessions with Diddy. Mike gets props for “making the big man proud.” After an awkward exchange about a piece of glitter on his forehead, Robert gets put on the spot for running out of breath during the Beacon performance, and Qwannell is called out for a questionable sideburn choice.
Next the contestants are sent to Diddy’s personal makeover crew to get ready to pimp the man’s gear in a Sean John photo shoot. Robert is told he has to lose the braids. He endures much ridicule, as his braids are combed out and shorn down into a baby ‘fro. He’s salty, but he takes it and emerges looking much fresher. Brian H., on the other hand, has a full-on meltdown about cutting his locks.
After our crooners get their glam on, Diddy’s team convenes to mull over the remaining top picks. Bivins chooses Jeremy as his fave, Brian A. gets props for being a team player, and Robert is praised for his killer pipes. With no sense of irony whatsoever, Diddy is still perturbed by Mike’s weight, but he’s impressed with Donnie’s “emotional connection to the dream.”
The finalists are brought into the studio, where Diddy is waiting. They are lined up and shuffled as Diddy plays with their minds visual combinations. Then they’re broken into duos and each man sings his heart out trying to best his opponent. After the final two perform, there is a long dramatic pause complete with ominous echoing beats. Then Diddy picks up and inexplicably leaves the room.
What? They faked us out. There will be no satisfying cuts at the end of this episode. No band is being made: Instead, in a shameless promotional stunt viewer-participation exercise, “MTB4” fans are invited to log on to MTV.com to vote for their favorite crooners. The final four will be revealed at the live season finale on August 26. Yes, it’s an “American Idol”-biting load of crap. On the bright side, at least the finalists who aren’t chosen for the band can console themselves with the knowledge that even the most lightweight of noncelebrities can pull a groupie or two after a brief stint on TV. In any case, tune in — your girl will be watching.
- Episode 8 recap
- Episode 7 recap
- Episode 6 recap
- Episode 5 recap
- Episode 4 recap
- Episode 3 recap
- Episode 2 recap
- Episode 1 recap
