Austin360 blogs > Almost Urban > Archives > 2007 > July > 23
Monday, July 23, 2007
‘Making the Band 4’ boxing gloves, b-ball and the last of Laurie Ann
Top of the episode recaps remind us that Dan has indeed dropped a good chunk of weight since the show began and that a room full of young, strapping men sparks Laurie Ann’s dominatrix fantasies.
Diddy drops in to welcome us to his show and assure us that this week won’t be another disappointing love fest. “It’s time to get physical with the guys,” he says smiling maniacally, “let men be men, let them box, play some basketball.” Finally! The scene shifts to an empty basketball court allegedly in the projects where Michael Bivins awaits our crooners in a Celtics jacket. The challenge is to play two-point games one-on-one. Snitchy Dan surprises everyone by holding his own, Brian H. turns out to be a tall brother who can’t ball, and sensitive boys Jonathan and Qwanell play the sorriest game ever broadcast on television.
To drive home the point that this is about being in shape, Bivins sends the losers to run the perimeter of the court. Jonathan whines about his aching head and refuses to run.
In a brief segment, sensitive Qwanell goes out of his way to convince us that he has a crush on Laurie Ann. He just loves the way she bosses him around, he gushes.
Next, our crooners are sent off to the boxing gym where Diddy has matched them up with sparring partners for a few 3-minute rounds in the ring. Up first again is Dan matched against Chris, who’s got a good 40 pounds on him. Dan takes a beat down as does Robert a few matches later. Big Mike shows mad heart. Whiny Jonathan confides that he and sparring partner Qwanell had planned to pretend fight, but Q comes out swinging. Until, of course, he actually lands a punch that bloodies Jonathan’s nose, at which point he reverts to half-hearted chucks of the chin.
We cut to Diddy who tells us he’s been having a hard time making decisions and needs to hear the fellas sing one on one. We’re barely into their spots when Laurie Ann lets out an encouraging whoop for Dan right as he fumbles his Usher impression. Diddy warns her to keep her enthusiasm to herself. and the two share a heated exchange that heavy handedly foreshadows tensions to come.
After Qwanell reminds us once more that he really, no seriously, has a crush on Laurie Ann, we’re off to the dance studio.
This time, Laurie Ann left her skimpy electric blue number at home and instead is wearing sweats with only a tantalizing unzipped hoodie to tease the youngsters. As she sets about berating our crooners into a little coordination, Jonathan has the grand revelation that he doesn’t really like being Diddy’s whipping boy. He explains that his heart is not in it and, dignity intact, he walks.
Laurie Ann shoos him off haughtily then lays into the rest of the crooners. No one is particularly impressive, but Donnie does a fantastically YouTube-able white-boy boogaloo, and Julius strains his knee and is carried out on a stretcher.
We cut to Dan on the phone to his dad. He confides that someone quit. His pops assures him that the tests are just a weeding process.
Back in the dance studio, our boys go before Diddy. Group after group, our crooners fall apart, with Diddy relegating almost everyone including an indignant Donnie to the “can’t dance” section of the room. Diddy is bewildered by the lack of coordination and, as tense music builds to let us know this is the grand chair-waving conflict we’ve been waiting for, he sends the boys out so he can talk to Laurie Ann. Diddy claims Laurie Ann was supposed to have the crooners practicing through the weekend, while she thought the dance routine was a single-day challenge. The camera cuts out before any furniture is flung and instead we hear much shouting about who is more psycho, with words like respect and ego tossed in for good measure. At the end, we hear that Laurie Ann and her awesomely inappropriate fishnets are out. Boo!
Diddy comes back to civilly let us know that Laurie Ann was a positive influence on the show and there are no hard feelings.
Back in the studio, he delivers the bad news to our crooners, “Hardly none of y’all can dance.” Instead, he makes cuts based on who has the endurance, who has the fight and who has the passion. Big Mike gets ribbed for not losing enough weight but Diddy concedes that big and sexy might work. And Julius is warned that his sob stories are wearing thin, but he’s given a pass, as is Donnie who seems amazed to survive the backtalk incident. On the chopping block are Curtis, Andrae, Eric, Armando and finally Dan, who’s accused of riding the weight loss thing too hard. “It’s not ‘Celebrity Fit Club,’ ” Diddy declares, explaining that Dan’s voice hadn’t grown enough. I suspect Dan’s smug snitchiness also amounted to a deduction of at least a few points. Everyone hates a tattle tale.
Next week, with a smaller group will the competition really heat up? Will tensions flare? Will Qwanell be heartbroken over the loss of Laurie Ann? Check back, your girl will be watching.
- Episode 8 recap
- Episode 7 recap
- Episode 6 recap
- Episode 5 recap
- Episode 4 recap
- Episode 3 recap
- Episode 2 recap
- Episode 1 recap
‘MTB4’: Chair tossing episode preview
If you fail to waste the same sort of time combing mean-spirited hip-hop gossip sites that I do, you might have missed the whole Diddy vs. Laurie Ann chair chucking controversy that went down on the set of “MTB4” earlier this year. Back in April, our favorite electric blue dance dominatrix got into a scuffle with the Didster and Michael Bivens during which the artist who prefers to no longer be called Puffy allegedly threatened her with a chair. Though Diddy claims she was overreacting, (what’s a little manic furniture tossing between friends?) Laurie Ann filed a complaint with the New York Police Department on May 11.
To get up to speed on the whole incident before tonight’s episode, check out Laurie Ann’s interview with Wendy Williams over at The Pop Culture Junkie.
(via Crunk and Disorderly)
