XL Food & Drink: Party of One

Christian group shows power of one

By Andrea Lorenz
Thursday, December 21, 2006

The day started with rock music and prayer.

On a recent Saturday, I sat with 250 single Christians on middle school bleachers in East Austin. A singer asked us to: "See Austin Saved."

The goal of AustinOne was to bring single people — and Christ — closer to the community.

"It's not a dating service," co-organizer Jenny Schindler, 33, told me.

And yet, if you're single, and dating a Christian is important to you, and you're sick of the prospects at your church, an event like this is just what God wants you to attend.

"I hesitate to say I do anything just to meet somebody," says Steve Lohmeyer, 27. Steve was a group leader at the widow's home we painted while others fixed up the yard.

He goes to a Bible study that includes singles from other churches, and though he's there for the Book and not the babes, it's one of his only opportunities to gather with Christians outside his congregation at Lake Hills Church.

Another is AustinOne. (The next event is planned for June.)

There were none of the awkward questions you fear at singles mingles — "Do you want kids?" — and Steve says there's just something about talking over a can of paint that takes the pressure off.

Richard Boswell, 23, took time from reinstalling doors to admit he hasn't yet transferred to the singles group at Hyde Park Baptist Church; he's still in the university ministry — "I'm in denial."

One thing he's not in denial about: Compared with college, working is lonely.

Nothing in the community-oriented world of college reveals that one day, there won't be a gaggle of friends constantly available and enough organized activities to fill every minute.

"The community aspect is lacking," Richard says about working life. "People are always coming and going. You may get to know someone, and they move."

He suggests that, after school, single people — Christians especially — are floating in a sort of fog.

"They have some sense of the community they used to get at church," he says, but it often doesn't start back up 'til marriage and kids. And rebuilding that community has to be more than sitting in a pew with a group of other singles. Then it becomes, "Oh those are the singles over there, and we never talk to them," Richard says.

Instead, families should invite them into their homes for some quality community-building time, Richard says.

To feel more connected, singles have no choice but to reach out to the community too, as Jenny and other organizers intended for that Saturday.

You don't have to be Christian, or even part of a group, to help someone. Or to want to.

The secular group Single Volunteers of Austin has social and charity events. Average age is 40. Or if you're not a "group" person, try volunteermatch.org for individual opportunities.

The widow, Lula Lee, thanked us for her freshly painted home, but Steve says he gets more out of volunteering than the recipient does. He even started a short-lived initiative with a friend to clean up the tubing rivers.

Without kids to take care of, no spouse to consider when making decisions, and income and time to spend how I please, single life can feel selfish. Volunteering in one event won't change that. And hearing singles who are active in their places of worship say they still long for more community makes me wonder if it's possible for singles to fit in to our marriage-friendly culture.

But you have to try. AustinOne was a good start.

alorenz@statesman.com